What do you do….so sad and worried?

Snoopy108

What do you do MFP friends when you are finally in the groove, you’re eating is under control (pretty much); you are making sure you get some physical activity in every day and you’re finally seeing changes in your body. Pretty fantastic stuff right!
But……what do you do with a hubby that doesn’t get it! I know you can’t change people and I know I can’t control him. I decided to make these changes because I was sad and feeling like crap and I know he can’t be feeling all that great himself. He is 100lbs over weight if not more and he continues to make bad choices. He thinks because he takes a pill for his diabetes that he can eat whatever he likes. And I mean he eats whatever he likes…chocolate, bowls of pasta, two and three helpings at dinner etc. He cancels his doctor’s appointments because he knows his doctor will be mad at him. I don’t know how to help him see that he is killing himself. I have talked to him about getting healthy so we can have a long life together (just married two years) but he still does what he wants to do….it make me very sad and frustrated.
Things to do:

Continue to focus on getting healthy.

Work out every day!

Continue to provide healthy meal choices.

Be positive and accountable.

Hope and pray that one day soon my husband will join me in getting healthy!

Thanks for listening MFP!!:ohwell:

byebyeluvhandles

Well, it looks like you have the "to do list" down. Maybe he will come around 1 day.

sheleen302

Continue doing what you are doing. Focus on the outcome you want--for you. Put no pressure on him, he is not ready. If you continue to inspire him by showing yourself you can do it, chances are very good he will realize it is his for the taking, too, and join you.

Secondgoround

People are going to do what they want to do. The only way to effectively change is to want to. Hopefully, you can lead by your good example.

lporter229

Continue doing what you are doing. Focus on the outcome you want--for you. Put no pressure on him, he is not ready. If you continue to inspire him by showing yourself you can do it, chances are very good he will realize it is his for the taking, too, and join you.

Exactly.

ANeWcRe8N

Can't help or change anyone if they don't want to.. we can only lead by example. I totally get what you are saying.. kind of going through the same with mine. He is coming around little by little though.

i_am_losing_it

I don' t think you can do anything other than what you are already. Showing him by example and encouraging is good, but it is his life, and his body. I am sure he knows he is killing himself, hence skipping doctor's appointments, but he is not ready and may not ever be ready to deal with that or with whatever underlying issues he has that makes him feel like he does not deserve to be healthy. He may never want to lose weight and you have to accept that, what other choice do you have?

RedHeadDevotchka

Don't try to change him, he will resent you. When and if he is ready then he will change, until then let it be. Just remember how it was before you were ready to change. I know it's hard when you want to help someone, but it's not gonna be perceived that way by him.

kelseyhere

This is one of the most difficult things. Keep setting a good example, and hopefully he will take a hint soon enough!

lauralind5

Youve done what you can. Stop talking to him about it. Dont make any faces, no sighing, no judgemental looks. We all have to reach our own epiphanies. Hopefully by continuing to set a good example he will follow. Besides how often do men listen to us women anyway lol

cohophysh

um, is this my wife???

RealWomenLovePitbulls

Visit a nursing home and let him see what happens when you don't keep your diabetes under control.
amputations, first a toe, then a foot, then your whole leg, that is if gang green doesn't set it first and then your lucky to live through it.
breathing problems, sleep apnea, heart problems, organs shutting down, SEVERE OBESITY
so much pain, swollen legs (if you still have your legs) cellulitis, strokes, coma, DEATH
not to mention being in your FIFTIES and stuck in a nursing home for possibly the next 30 or 40 + years because you couldn't control it yourself and that resulted in either one of the above mentioned issues, or many many more possible issues.
If that isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is.
I work in a Nursing Home, I see this everyday, along with the long-term effects of other bad habits, including smoking, along with drug and alcohol problems and just straight up not taking care of your body and have taken care of FOUR different residents who were ONLY 38 YEARS OLD in nursing homes due to not taking care of themselves. So, start now, and hopefully it's not too late.