Group Interview and Anxiety

misskatibear

Hey, wasn't sure whether to put this in here or support.

I've been out of a job since December (my last one made staff cuts). I loved my job. Anyway. I'm technically homeless and have been for over a year now, I'm currently crashing at my brother and his girlfriends house, which isn't ideal at all. They are also putting the rent up beginning of August which I simply CANNOT afford. So I am under a considerable amount of pressure to get a job, more than some. And not only that I WANT a job, I can't stand this, no money business! And it makes me feel lazy...BUT.

I'm recovering from social anxieties. A few years back I didn't leave the house at all, and if I ever did, I would never go out alone, and I would never even consider speaking to a shop keeper or buying my own items, I'd always make my ex-partner do it all for me because I simply couldn't.

Since then, I have recovered A LOT. I go places on my own, granted some days I do need someone by my side. But I will even go shopping in the main city alone if I need to. I am quite independent now, but I still can get it bad, and I still find most social interaction absolutely nerve wracking. It's to be noted as well, that the previous job I had was with family, so I began to gain confidence there, as my step sister (boss) knew of my lack in confidence, so it was a bit easier that she understood things. And I've never really had a full stable job.

Now, I have a group interview with a local supermarket next week. I have extremely mixed emotions, I am very very very happy about it, that I have a chance to get a job. But I am also sick with anxiety just thinking about it, and researching it.

A few months back I went to a woman's confidence course workshop, all like-minded women there; nervous, no confidence. I had to stand up and give a little talk... well, I couldn't breath, I couldn't swallow and I was shaking like crazy, my voice wobbled - It was awful and awkward. And I keep having flash backs of that when it comes to thinking about this interview. And I am hugely concerned that I may have a panic attack whilst there, which will obviously ruin ALL my chances. The group interview lasts for 2 and a half hours... which is another concern I will be on edge and shaking the entire time.

I'm really scared/happy/mixed emotions, and I'm wondering if anyone who's been where I am, or similar or has any advice.
I would really appreciate it.

For anyone in the UK, it's a job at Waitrose as a cafe assistant.

Darkskinned88

i HATE group interviews...either i shrink and you wouldnt even remember i was there (0/2), or when i try to make myself noticeable i usually fall back on jokes which also doesnt work (0/4)

RealWomenLovePitbulls

just try to relax, since it is 2.5 hours, maybe u can try to sorta sit back and listen for the first part and get a little more comfortable with everyone and then perhaps you will feel better speaking. try to think of it more like a casual group of friends getting together and chatting. i have a fairly nervous personality in new situations, but once i'm there a while, i tend to warm up a lot

misskatibear

Yeah I think it's really mean. I appreciate they are trying to let more people of having a chance to get the job. But they purposely do it to put your straight under pressure. I know I could work okay there being a cafe assistant because I'm not so bad if I have some kind of control over a situation!

And hey, at least you can make jokes - I'm terrible at them ;P

Captain_Tightpants

I feel for you, social anxiety at any level is not fun and it sounds like you've got it at the real bad end of the spectrum. Do you have a prescription that could help? Maybe your doc could give you a temporary fill of lorazepam?

In the long run, mindfulness meditation can work wonders on social anxiety, but it takes time to develop those skills so I'm afraid it won't do you a lot of good next week. You could however try breathing exercises, which are simpler and more immediately beneficial.

Also try visioning strategies - get as relaxed as you can at home and then go through the entire day of the interview in your head. I mean right from brushing your teeth in the morning all the way to driving back home from the interview. Don't worry about trying to imagine the best or worst case scenarios, just let your brain take you where it will. The more times you can do this between now and the real thing, the more relaxed you will find yourself during the event. I've used this technique for doctors visits where I was awaiting a potential cancer diagnosis and it helped a lot.

BVannillie

In terms of the interview I can't really think of any advice that will help. If you're anything like me then you could psych yourself up for days and still blow it at the actually interview. I know that isn't encouraging sorry, I just feel like saying 'just try to relax' isn't really a realistic option in your circumstances. I may be wrong.

I suffered anxiety in my teens and was helped a lot by joining a local theatre group. They were very understanding and gave me 'goals', like giving a two minute speech in front of the group, performing a piece on stage, performing in public, etc. At the start I couldn't even do a two minute speech about myself without shaking and going bright red and stuttering, my eyed watered up because I felt so embarrassed. But then everyone in that group was a performer and very open, so if I felt uncomfortable they would get up and do something 'silly' or 'embarrassing' to make me feel less self concious. And it worked. I don't know if this is something you could try, if you have the resources or not. But sometimes the way to overcome something is to dive into it head first.

I had a group interview for a theatre course I took a while back and was nervous, but when I spoke to some of the people I found they were just as nervous as I was and there was no pressure at all because we were all in the same boat. I also worked at a Sainsbury's cafe when I was 16 and people were generally so busy that there wasn't much time for talking anyway. As long as you focus on your job it shouldn't be a problem, but then you know more then me.

I would say maybe practice some deep breathing exercises, try looking online, and maybe do a search for social anxiety or 'public speaking' anxiety and find some tips that might help. Any time you feel nervous in the interview just do your breathing, it might clear your head a little.

Good luck.

majac10

I know exactly what you're talking about...have been struggling with that since I was a teenager. it sometimes helps when I take things little less seriously and look at other people and how they behave.

xtinalovexo

Giiiirl... I am super shy! I had to go through 2 group interviews for my current job.

Hers my tips!

As a shy person... Wear a high neck top... I always turn red! Its professional but also cute... (the ruffled kind)

Tell yourself you're better than most of the people there.

Pretend you are confident.... Which us shown by speaking loud and smiling alot!.

Sound educated and be well spoken!

If all else fails... Flirt and wear a lower cut top... {I've never had to resort to that )

misskatibear

@crystal_elste

just try to relax, since it is 2.5 hours, maybe u can try to sorta sit back and listen for the first part and get a little more comfortable with everyone and then perhaps you will feel better speaking. try to think of it more like a casual group of friends getting together and chatting. i have a fairly nervous personality in new situations, but once i'm there a while, i tend to warm up a lot

Listening sounds like a good idea, thank you.

@Captain_Tight

I feel for you, social anxiety at any level is not fun and it sounds like you've got it at the real bad end of the spectrum. Do you have a prescription that could help? Maybe your doc could give you a temporary fill of lorazepam?

In the long run, mindfulness meditation can work wonders on social anxiety, but it takes time to develop those skills so I'm afraid it won't do you a lot of good next week. You could however try breathing exercises, which are simpler and more immediately beneficial.

Also try visioning strategies - get as relaxed as you can at home and then go through the entire day of the interview in your head. I mean right from brushing your teeth in the morning all the way to driving back home from the interview. Don't worry about trying to imagine the best or worst case scenarios, just let your brain take you where it will. The more times you can do this between now and the real thing, the more relaxed you will find yourself during the event. I've used this technique for doctors visits where I was awaiting a potential cancer diagnosis and it helped a lot.

I was thinking the same thing, about booking an appointment with the doctors, do I tell them the reason though? I'm wondering whether they would give it out if I said I'm nervous about an interview ha. I've been on something before that helps with depression/anxiety, but I took myself off them because I didn't want to become reliant, and foolishly - I thought I was okay.

I really appreciate the idea of putting myself through the scenario day of interview, I think that's a really good idea to role play it. Perhaps I'll get my boyfriend to join in and ask me intimidating questions. Thanks so much that'll most probably help quite a bit. I hoped your diagnosis turned out okay? Also, high five to the Firefly signature. Also, thank you!


@BVannillie

In terms of the interview I can't really think of any advice that will help. If you're anything like me then you could psych yourself up for days and still blow it at the actually interview. I know that isn't encouraging sorry, I just feel like saying 'just try to relax' isn't really a realistic option in your circumstances. I may be wrong.

I suffered anxiety in my teens and was helped a lot by joining a local theatre group. They were very understanding and gave me 'goals', like giving a two minute speech in front of the group, performing a piece on stage, performing in public, etc. At the start I couldn't even do a two minute speech about myself without shaking and going bright red and stuttering, my eyed watered up because I felt so embarrassed. But then everyone in that group was a performer and very open, so if I felt uncomfortable they would get up and do something 'silly' or 'embarrassing' to make me feel less self concious. And it worked. I don't know if this is something you could try, if you have the resources or not. But sometimes the way to overcome something is to dive into it head first.

I had a group interview for a theatre course I took a while back and was nervous, but when I spoke to some of the people I found they were just as nervous as I was and there was no pressure at all because we were all in the same boat. I also worked at a Sainsbury's cafe when I was 16 and people were generally so busy that there wasn't much time for talking anyway. As long as you focus on your job it shouldn't be a problem, but then you know more then me.

I would say maybe practice some deep breathing exercises, try looking online, and maybe do a search for social anxiety or 'public speaking' anxiety and find some tips that might help. Any time you feel nervous in the interview just do your breathing, it might clear your head a little.

Good luck.

Nope nope that's fine, I completely agree. That's usually something that happens to me too, I can prepare so hard for something and be so confident but as soon as I walk out the door it all goes (scuse language) but tits up!

The theatre idea sounds great, and seemed to work out for you. I actually used to want to be an actress and in school I used to act infront of the whole school sometimes. I'm not sure I could go back to acting, but something similiar might be an idea for the future. I want to start archery but I'm not sure whether that'll really help for anxiety haha.

I don't seem to be as bad if I'm talking one on one with people, I tend to stutter but I think I generally come off as a nice person (I like to think I am!), so I think I might try that suggestion to whilst at the interview, talk to a few people individually in my group.

If I get the job, I know I will be fine actually working there, because it's less pressure than trying to get the job. And I can get by just by being friendly. I will be nervous at first but I know I'll be able to do it. It's just this group interview that's got me.

And I will research public speaking, thank you for your help and suggestions



@majac10

I know exactly what you're talking about...have been struggling with that since I was a teenager. it sometimes helps when I take things little less seriously and look at other people and how they behave.

Yeah! That's how I tend to do some things now, is try not to see it as something important but I do worry if I try make myself believe that, I may come off that way in the group interview. I will try concentrating on other people though, thank you!



@xtinalovexo

Giiiirl... I am super shy! I had to go through 2 group interviews for my current job.

Hers my tips!

As a shy person... Wear a high neck top... I always turn red! Its professional but also cute... (the ruffled kind)

Tell yourself you're better than most of the people there.

Pretend you are confident.... Which us shown by speaking loud and smiling alot!.

Sound educated and be well spoken!

If all else fails... Flirt and wear a lower cut top... {I've never had to resort to that )

Haha your post made me laugh! Pretending I'm confident is how I usually work throughout my days if I'm out, I think some people who don't speak to me, and just see me - possibly think I think I'm 'above' everyone, it really isn't the case I just try to keep my head high and pretend I'm confident. I'm not sure about well educated (haha) but I am definitely well spoken Just maybe not if I stutter lol. Thanks for your post!

kerriberry74

You've definitely gotten some great advice here. one thing I would throw in would be to do a mock interview with someone else. That way you would be able to practice some answers to possible questions- I just had an interview 2 weeks ago & had questions like what are my strengths/weaknesses, the tell me about a situation when... type questions. Maybe work off of the job description to do that. Having & practicing possible responses may help at least a little bit.

By the way, I've been out of work for a year now, I did end up getting the job- a 14 week project, but it's better than nothing. When they asked about my greatest weakness, I actually said straight out that I am very nervous person, especially when starting something new, ask a lot of questions ect. because I want to be doing everything correctly from the start.

Hope this helps & good luck!

misskatibear

When they asked about my greatest weakness, I actually said straight out that I am very nervous person, especially when starting something new, ask a lot of questions ect. because I want to be doing everything correctly from the start.

That's a really great way of being honest, but putting a positive light on it. Thanks so much that's a really good honest answer for me as well ( I love being honest and hate saying things that I'm not). Thanks for your advice!

rebsgee

Just be yourself! I know that you are amazing person!

I also know exactly how you feel, not to do with the group interview but all the social anxieties etc, we've chatted about them before. Try not to think too much about it and over analyse it, that's the main problem - since everyone gets nervous for interviews and in those type of situations, but the fact that you (and me too!) go over every little detail in your head and worry about every possible outcome will make you stressed and anxious and the likeliness is it will be nothing like you expected and you'll do great. x