What is wrong? (long)

tantalee

So ive been around MFP for quite a while.
I was losing, slowly, some weight but never reach what i wanted.
The last months were not as good as i expected...moving apartment, baby had 2 pneumonias, med school final exams...but the stress was nothing that im not used to dealing with. But i still manage to gain around 6 kg in a short period of time.
Then my husband starts to tell me that im depressed, but i dont feel depressed. So i started to see what was i doing. I dont have energy or will to do any thing. Even getting out of the bed is hard (this is because my bed is crap and my back hurt). I hate the new apartment and i dont like the "now" time...dont know why. So my days are passed doing basically nothing, just existing and even my baby doesnt make me happy.
At the end of the day, after my baby is in his bed, i eat and eat and eat. Normally stupid things, like fries and kinders.
Because i had, for half of dozen of years, a pretty severe anorexia (my lowest was bellow 40 kg) im familiar with eating disorders. And im thinking if i didnt become an over eater.
Any ideas? Any help?

tantalee

bump

MalSponseller

I would say, tantalee, that some of the things you mentioned do sound like symptoms of depression. I'd suggest sitting down with a psychologist or counselor a few times to determine if this is a state of depression, or simply something else. Either way, the psychologist can help you through it.

tantalee

I really dont feel depressed...well,i dont feel like crying or that the world is about to end.
I think that the problem is that is every thing at the same time plus dealing with my son's terminal illness.Who wouldnt be sad and eatingand without the will to do things?
I really am lost.Im trying to find support groups on the internet but i found nothing regardind overeating.

FloridaAimee

Depression can sneak up on us..and it's not always the crying thing. Stress, life changes, etc, can cause us to be 'off'. I agree that you should talk to a counselor or someone. You might benefit from both the talking it out and a little medication for a short period.

I tell you this from experience- I had very sever depression that snuck up on me. Like you, I didn't feel like crying all the time, or that the world was crashing down, but I did know I wasn't quite.... 'right'. I ended up having a total nervous breakdown-ling term medication, shrinks, the whole thing. Please check into it before you reach the point I did. It wasn't pretty.

xoxo
Aimee

katrinkap

i agree! I see a therapist every two weeks, even if I am going through a "good time" it's nice to bounce ideas off of someone who is objective.

Also, if you are prescribed medication, give it a chance. You may also have to put your exercise on the back burner until that is figured out, but once you do, get moving again. Medication doesn't mean you are a freak, it means the chemical balance in your brain is not right and you need meds to help keep yourself and others safe and content. When I was first on put on medication, I told my doctor, "You need to help me. Either that or I will kill my husband, lock myself in a basement and my kids will be in foster care." It worked.

karip0303

Depression is not defined as a feeling of sadness but a lack of happiness. There are some things you can to to naturally help such as have a healthy diet, exercise and try to keep yourself busy. If these things do not help I would go see a Dr for extra help.

cpettigrew

I really dont feel depressed...well,i dont feel like crying or that the world is about to end.
I think that the problem is that is every thing at the same time plus dealing with my son's terminal illness.Who wouldnt be sad and eatingand without the will to do things?
I really am lost.Im trying to find support groups on the internet but i found nothing regardind overeating.

Depression doesn't always come with crying or feeling like the world is going to end. I have dealt with depression, among other things, all of my life. I do feel like I don't want to do anything, and lose interest in everything I enjoy. I also get angry with everyone and everything, instead of crying. I treat people, even friends, like they are the cause of my problems and unwanted feelings/emotions. Seeing a therapist might be a good idea. I am currently seeing one now, and along with medication, has been the best thing I could have done.

tantalee

I hate psychiatrists or any thing close to them.Ok...happy pill seem nice but im not insane or...i dont know what.
I just eat and eat.And im huge!!!i know i need to make a diet,to get healthy but it just seems too much.That is why i think im having an over eating problem,trying to compensate the pain of going to lose my child to a stupid disease with food.
If i "know"what is happening that is also considered depression?
Also im ashamed for all this.Im a med student and med stundents dont need shrinks

cpettigrew

Knowing is a start, but it doesn't fix anything. I have known most of my life. I tried to fix it on my own. I also tried to commit suicide more than once as a result of "knowing" and "handling" everything on my own.

tantalee

Of course i know that med students also get depression.i was just beeing sarcastic.
But this is a small town and if my teachers find out it will be very embarassing

suziecue66

I hate psychiatrists or any thing close to them.Ok...happy pill seem nice but im not insane or...i dont know what.
I just eat and eat.And im huge!!!i know i need to make a diet,to get healthy but it just seems too much.That is why i think im having an over eating problem,trying to compensate the pain of going to lose my child to a stupid disease with food.
If i "know"what is happening that is also considered depression?
Also im ashamed for all this.Im a med student and med stundents dont need shrinks

Every body needs someone to talk to about their feelings. You are facing the eventual loss of your child from a terminal illness and may benefit from seeing someone. At the moment you are dealing with your emotions by turning to food. Try and find another outlet. I'm sorry about your boy.

cpettigrew

No one needs to know. Until now, only my brother, father, and best friend know that I am now medicated. My mother raised me and both my brothers to believe that medication and therapist were some sort of government thought control organization (not joking), so it was VERY hard for me to see a therapist the first time, and I told her straight out I didn't necessarily believe that it would do any good.

anacsitham5

I really dont feel depressed...well,i dont feel like crying or that the world is about to end.
I think that the problem is that is every thing at the same time plus dealing with my son's terminal illness.Who wouldnt be sad and eatingand without the will to do things?
I really am lost.Im trying to find support groups on the internet but i found nothing regardind overeating.

Depressed doesn't have to mean sad and crying. It can mean that you have no zest for life. It sounds as if you had the choice, you wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. That is a sign of depression. It's not wrong to seek out a professional for assistance. Good luck!

tantalee

Im sorry cpettigrew for all your problems.It doesnt seem easy for you.
Thankyou suziecue.
I think im not ready to talk to any therapeut here...but when do i know that is time to talk?
For now i would just be happy with some prozac

RDR1051

I hate psychiatrists or any thing close to them.

What an odd thing for a med student to say. Hmm.

RuthSweetTooth

You just need a big fat hug. You should call your mother right now, or a relative or friend you can count on or relate to you. You are going through so much stress. It is leading to depression. Go look at your med books. It is hard to see clearly when you are in its grips. Depression is a lack of enjoyment in every day activities. Then you have the every day downer of your baby's health to deal with. You must rely on your family network! We're here for you too. I hope you feel better. If you need a friend you can add me. I also believe that you must log everything even if you are binging. This will help curb it. Think of it as your punishment. Try to exercise to compensate the binge calories. Then take a look at my diary and see if you can get ideas. I eat great and do enjoy my food. I'm taking A&P right now so I've had a bit of the taste of your stress. The requirements for med students are completely unreasonable. No wonder you are where you are! Keep reaching out!

Ruth

SherryTeach

I didn't know medical students or doctors had some kind of immunity to mental health issues. Get thyself to a therapist ASAP. There is no need to suffer. You are worth it.

tantalee

The thing is that the doctors here can be my professors at university and i dont want the professors to know.I try to hide as much as i can my "particular drama" from the outside world.once i had a job that people would be jellous because i had to go 3times a week to the doc with my son.I think that they thought that i was going to shop or to the beach...ignorant people

tantalee

I hate psychiatrists or any thing close to them.

What an odd thing for a med student to say. Hmm.

one thing are medical doctors...other is some one that sits 50mn looking to you and saying "humhum"

karip0303

I'm sorry that you are having to go through, and I can totally understand not wanting one of your teachers to be the one you talk to. If you ended up going to one that was your teacher they would just refer you to someone who didn't know you because most therapist will not treat someone they come in regular contact with. However even if they did they are bound by confidentiality so nobody else would know.

suziecue66

Tantalee in regards to your weight you could remove everything that is quite calorie dense eg junk foods and just stick to healthy foods when feeling a binge coming on. Or try your best to eat up to your calorie goal and include some snack items. Some people do better when they are not too strict. I'm sure your weight is another contributor to feeling down.

tantalee

I'm sorry that you are having to go through, and I can totally understand not wanting one of your teachers to be the one you talk to. If you ended up going to one that was your teacher they would just refer you to someone who didn't know you because most therapist will not treat someone they come in regular contact with. However even if they did they are bound by confidentiality so nobody else would know.

theoretically you are right...but every single doctor talks about their patientd to his colleges

I really dont know what to do

jefflturn

The first thing I would do is replace that mattress. Lack of sleep can or let me be specific, lack of R.E.M. sleep can cause all kinds of problems including depression. Address this problem first and you will be suprized the improvements you will see. Also you may want to have a sleep study done to make sure you do not have sleep apnea. Good luck!

suziecue66

The first thing I would do is replace that mattress. Lack of sleep can or let me be specific, lack of R.E.M. sleep can cause all kinds of problems including depression. Address this problem first and you will be suprized the improvements you will see. Also you may want to have a sleep study done to make sure you do not have sleep apnea. Good luck!

Good suggestions about bed. Don't think she would have sleep apnea, usually it's the very overweight.

suziecue66

I'm sorry that you are having to go through, and I can totally understand not wanting one of your teachers to be the one you talk to. If you ended up going to one that was your teacher they would just refer you to someone who didn't know you because most therapist will not treat someone they come in regular contact with. However even if they did they are bound by confidentiality so nobody else would know.

theoretically you are right...but every single doctor talks about their patientd to his colleges

I really dont know what to do

?Could you try some natural product that you just purchase over the counter to help with depression like st johns wort. Don't need to see someone.

tantalee

The first thing I would do is replace that mattress. Lack of sleep can or let me be specific, lack of R.E.M. sleep can cause all kinds of problems including depression. Address this problem first and you will be suprized the improvements you will see. Also you may want to have a sleep study done to make sure you do not have sleep apnea. Good luck!

Good suggestions about bed. Don't think she would have sleep apnea, usually it's the very overweight.

Naaaa...apneia is not the problem

sanfly

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your child - it must be the hardest thing in the world to go through.

I agree with the person who suggested replacing your bed - being in Med School I guess that this could be difficult financially, but it's one of the few things in this situation that you can actually control.

Do you have a friend who you can call when you get the cravings to eat poorly to 'back you off the ledge'?

As for the deeper issue issues, both the illness of your child and the stress of med school are both things that could naturally lead to depression. If you dont feel that you can talk to someone locally about it - how about arranging phone session with a mental health professional from a nearby town? You could also arrange to see them in person once a month or so as your busy schedule permits.

At the very least, perhaps try keeping some kind of diary or anonymous blog. Don't hold back, and go back an read later to try and identify the specific triggers that cause you to overeat.

I really feel for you. I dont know you, you dont know me but if you need someone to chat to PM me and I'll send you my email address. I've often got my computer on with gmail chat active! I dont have kids, but I do have friends who have lost theirs and I know I would want someone to help them out if they didn't feel that they could come to me.

tantalee

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your child - it must be the hardest thing in the world to go through.

I agree with the person who suggested replacing your bed - being in Med School I guess that this could be difficult financially, but it's one of the few things in this situation that you can actually control.

Do you have a friend who you can call when you get the cravings to eat poorly to 'back you off the ledge'?

As for the deeper issue issues, both the illness of your child and the stress of med school are both things that could naturally lead to depression. If you dont feel that you can talk to someone locally about it - how about arranging phone session with a mental health professional from a nearby town? You could also arrange to see them in person once a month or so as your busy schedule permits.

At the very least, perhaps try keeping some kind of diary or anonymous blog. Don't hold back, and go back an read later to try and identify the specific triggers that cause you to overeat.

I really feel for you. I dont know you, you dont know me but if you need someone to chat to PM me and I'll send you my email address. I've often got my computer on with gmail chat active! I dont have kids, but I do have friends who have lost theirs and I know I would want someone to help them out if they didn't feel that they could come to me.

Thank you Sanfly

Today i feel much better.

tantalee

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your child - it must be the hardest thing in the world to go through.

I agree with the person who suggested replacing your bed - being in Med School I guess that this could be difficult financially, but it's one of the few things in this situation that you can actually control.

Do you have a friend who you can call when you get the cravings to eat poorly to 'back you off the ledge'?

As for the deeper issue issues, both the illness of your child and the stress of med school are both things that could naturally lead to depression. If you dont feel that you can talk to someone locally about it - how about arranging phone session with a mental health professional from a nearby town? You could also arrange to see them in person once a month or so as your busy schedule permits.

At the very least, perhaps try keeping some kind of diary or anonymous blog. Don't hold back, and go back an read later to try and identify the specific triggers that cause you to overeat.

I really feel for you. I dont know you, you dont know me but if you need someone to chat to PM me and I'll send you my email address. I've often got my computer on with gmail chat active! I dont have kids, but I do have friends who have lost theirs and I know I would want someone to help them out if they didn't feel that they could come to me.

I dont want to tell to my friends.They already saw me fighting anorexia for 6 years and im afraid that they will think im crazy

graelwyn

I had anorexia too, and found that from anorexia, I went into eating a lot, and then into bulimia, It seems that if you starve your body for a time like that, it can really mess it up and result in the opposite issue, of wanting to eat more and more, apparently to compensate for the years of starvation. I also agree it sounds like you are depressed, what you describe are the traits, and are pretty much what I often experience myself.

Regarding the eating, all you can do really, is to keep unhealthy foods out of your home, if you can, and to try and get yourself into some sort of regular eating pattern that is high in protein, eating every 3-4 hours, to a plan. It has helped me a lot with my binge eating as has working out in some form everyday, which can curb the appetite if you do the right sort of workout(if you have time)

In the end, only you have the power to get a grip on this, and you need to reach a point where you are fed up of it enough to change it. Acknowledge how badly you are treating your body, and the damage you might be doing, especially on top of having had anorexia. As a med student, I am sure you realise this, though.