Bulimia recovery and tracking..

versagen

I have been trying really hard to track what I eat, but I'm trying to recover from bulimia and so when I sometimes binge and purge I have no idea what to do. I tried tracking the binge calories anyway, but that ended up being about 4000 calories and that made me start crying. Should I track the calories anyway? Should I disregard calories that I purge? My problem is that I know I'm absorbing some of the calories!!!! The anxiety over this is actually making this all worse and now I haven't kept anything down in days ):

jehembee

I would continue tracking everything, even when you binge and purge. It will bring in to focus what you are putting into your body. It may be difficult to process, but hopefully you can get through it.

bbbsmama

I think you should add them anyways.

peachyxoxoxo

To be honest... one of the best things for my own recovery was to stop tracking calories. That number is just one more thing to worry and stress about. Are you trying to lose weight? If so, I think instead you should focus your efforts on just stopping the bingeing and purging. I made a pact with myself to stop purging first. That way, when I binged, I had to live with it and feel the discomfort. That meant there was no "easy way out" after a binge... I think the act of purging and knowing it's an option is a trigger to binge. Take it off the table as an option altogether.

I know that's not the advice you asked for but I hope it helps. It helped me. I have now gone 4 weeks without a binge or purge. You can do it too

JDhi5

I've been sitting here thinking about this for awhile, and you are in a really tough spot. As dorky as this sounds.. you should make a pros and cons list of tracking vs not tracking.
My initial thought was for you to also stop tracking calories, until you can get yourself under control.
I agree with peachyxoxoxo on a lot of things, but since we don't know your situation very well, it wont really help with what we say.
My only advice, and like I said, take it for what it's worth, is to go a doctor who can help out.
Also, don't hate yourself.

jwilllose

Are you getting help for this from a professional? I'm a binger but not a purger. I have mentioned this book on MFP before but a book that has helped me IMMENSELY is called Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr. Christopher Fairburn.

Someone else mentioned it but all that I've read about binge eating disorders is that we should not diet. Depriving ourselves makes binges all but inevitable.

What I do is write down every morsel of food in a notebook and I have my notebook set up as Fairburn suggests. I eat 6 times a day- breakfast, an AM snack, lunch, a PM snack, dinner and dessert (you could do 5 times a day if that's more appealing to you). But in the early stages, you ONLY eat at those times. You sit at a table and without distractions, you eat and enjoy your food.

At the end of the day when I've eaten all I'm going to, I enter it into MFP to get an idea of my calorie count.

This has been a lifesaver for me. After having my daughter last year, I went from 192 down to 134 (with Weight Watchers). But then I kept bingeing and undoing my losses. Now I do pay attention to portions but I eat for hunger and not for other reasons and I'm 129. Before I got pregnant, I was 144 so this is a big loss for me.

So I'd suggest you get this book (on Ebay or your library) or get help if you're not already getting it. Best of luck!

tinabatinaflc

i am bulimic and struggle with that same question almost every day. almost every day for the last 10 years i also tell myself i won't b/p. i honestly believe that you should stop counting calories if you are binging - it's impossible to factor in what you are stuck with calorie wise. don't kill yourself by putting in the full amount, because that is way more than you are keeping down. if you must continue, perhaps putting in just half of the calories is a happy medium?

Actually, now that i'm really thinking about this - i believe a gentleman up above said that you should just continue tracking, i sort of feel like that is the best way to shock yourself back into reality, and i think that is what i will start doing. know in your brain that it is an inflated calorie count, but keep the gritty details on paper to keep you motivated to do better tomorrow.

hmmm

<3christine

mgram2

As a recover(ed/ing) bulimic.. I would have to say that tracking was the thing that helped me the most. It forced me to make conscious decisions about the amount of food in my mouth because I tracked as I ate. That also forced me to slow down and identify my behavior as what it was (a binge) vs. just being hungry.

My only issue now is that I often feel like I'm on the other end of the spectrum -- as I sometimes feel like my mannerisms are that of someone with anorexia. Not completely.. but just some of my tendencies.. like not wanting to eat or go near my "calorie goal". At one point I was doing the 1200 calorie a day thing.. and I would end up eating around 900-1000 because I never wanted to accidentally go over.. or I would save calories for a snack later (that I wouldn't end up eating because it would get too late at night). Now my goal is 1500 and I've found myself only eating around 1200 for the past week.

tashaa1992

I'm not in recovery from bulimia but I'm in recovery from purging type anorexia, I know they're completely opposite or so they say but I don't actually believe anorexia and bulimia is that different. I mean you have whether you're suffering from anorexia or bulimia, you have an extreme food obsession, weight obsession, and you need to be in control, it's just slightly different with the two, anorexics gain their control by not eating whereas from what I know, most bulimics binge then try and gain the control back by vomiting, overexercising and fasting.

I used to purge everyday, usually over ten times in a day, and the only thing that helped me see what I was doing was keeping a journal. It sounds lame but it really helped me, now on a bad week I purge three times max. Write down how you were feeling before, during and after and what was consumed. Do this every time it happens, I know it's hard seeing yourself 'fail' but if you're ever going to beat this, you need to find out what triggers it. For example, I know I'm more likely to purge if I'm feeling upset, tired or stressed. I know my anorexia started after my dad left and I know that I feel I need the control because I couldn't control my dad leaving. I know I started purging because I couldn't cope with the loss of my baby. Whenever anything bad happens, I have always resorted to this because it's what I know but I'm slowly learning more about myself and I'm working through my issues.

Do you talk to anyone about this? I think you would massively benefit from it xxx

Skyeburn

What is your diet like on the days you don't binge, or during the times in between a binge? Tracking might help you see if there is a pattern going on.

graelwyn

If I binge and purge, I tend to input 1/2 to 2/3 of the calories, although I have not binged and purged in a week now. I was doing it sometimes once a day, sometimes a few times a week. It really takes mammoth self control to quit the binge eating and I doubt it will never happen to me again, but working on cutting it down is a good starting place and keeping mindful enough to identify any triggers, such as certain emotions, situations or dietary deficits. Eating a lot of protein can be a good starting point, as it fills you up, depending on the type, and eating regularly so you do not get hungry enough to feel a need to binge. Routine is also good for some. Be aware that what you are doing is very damaging and can result in death, even if you feel safe doing it. It puts a tremendous strain on the heart, and causes damage to the stomach and throat, not to mention the teeth.

I would agree with someone else who said to stop purging so you have to sit and experience the result of a binge, rather than run from it. It will be scary, and yes, cause a temporary weight gain, but once you know how bad it feels, you will be less inclined to do it. You need to, in your mind, decide that purging, the really damaging part, is not an option anymore. Also the more you purge, the more you tend to want to binge again the next day as your body has had the message it got a load of sugar, then finds it gone again.

Practise making yourself aware as you are binge eating, of what you are doing, and start trying to stop yourself before it gets too far. I personally just allow myself a treat item most days now rather than restricting, and that is working for now. Most important of all, is tackling the underlying issues of why you are caught in this pattern and learning healthier ways of dealing with them, whether that be talking to someone, writing it down or finding a hobby to take your mind off things.

I would strongly suggest seeing a doctor and getting yourself some therapy, if you have not done so already, and focussing not on the scale or the numbers, but on your health as you only get this life once, and once it is gone, it is gone.

estitom

I know I don't have the same problem (anorexia restricting type) but there are still occasions when I binge, although it's rare. But there are times when I feel like I'm binging (sometimes when I eat a normal amount of food or slightly more it feels like a binge because I feel out of control). Tracking can sometimes help, sometimes not. If I know that I'm likely to make up for it the day after by restricting or exercising, I don't log it. If I know that it wasn't more than 2500 cals and that I can overcome the guilt if I fight hard enough, I might log it. It depends on the situation though.

I know your problem is different from mine, but what I want to say is that maybe it's good for you, maybe it's not. In your case it sounds like it's just making things worse. Your primary goal should be recovery, not weight loss. I suggest you do what @PinkPrincess said. Write it down and make sure you understand the feelings and the triggers. That will probably help you the most.

Hugs :flowerforyou: