"you don't need to lose weight"

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  • amyowens08
    amyowens08 Posts: 107 Member
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    My daughter says something every now and then about me being on a "diet". I always tell her I'm not on a diet, I'm trying to eat healthier and take better care of myself. I really think that someone saying they're "on a diet" is over-used...most people who are "on a diet" are really just eating what they SHOULD be eating...serving sizes, healthy foods, etc.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    They are just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like they can respond to "I'm on a diet" with, "Good because you were starting to turn into a real fatass."

    Just respond with a smile and a, "That's sweet of you to say." If someone puts you on the defensive about it, you can say, "I know I look great, but I would like to be healthy, too."

    Couldn't have said it better myself! Love this reply!

    I've had a few people respond with utter shock when I tell them that I still have at least 20 pounds to lose, maybe 30. In my case it's because I was obese for so long, the idea of me being a normal size is kind of mind blowing to folks. So at first, I just say "thank you, that's nice" and If they press, I'm honest and tell them "please, don't worry, I'm just trying to get to a healthy weight range, not be stick thin" and if they really press, I remind them that it's taken me 2 1/2 years to lose 85 pounds, obviously I'm not starving myself! LOL!
  • dmjenni
    dmjenni Posts: 26 Member
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    Be thankful you get that response and understand that they mean it in a complimentary way. You would feel much worse if they didn't respond that way, trust me.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I want to be able to go to a store, pick something out and just buy it. Not having to worry about trying it on to see if it fits.
    What? Skinny people have to try on clothes too.
  • Berto0391
    Berto0391 Posts: 273 Member
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    Keep doing what your doing TC.....do this for yourself!!!

    PS - My GF tells me the same thing, and I kindly tell her I'm doing this for me.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I keep getting the "you should stop now, you look good" or "If you lose more you will look sick"
  • mzoiss
    mzoiss Posts: 2
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    Or how about the good old, you're getting too skinny! My MIL said that to my husband. I want to tell her to be quiet, we want him to be healthy so he is with us as long as possible. Is 190 really too skinny anyway? Her other sons have big bellies. No one has said I look too skinny though, because I was 110 in college, ballooned to 206 (not including pregnancy highs) and am now getting back to "normal," so my family says I look more like I used to.
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
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    that followed by "in fact you could stand to GAIN a few pounds" makes me wanna punch someone in the throat :noway: .. I am not too thin and besides when I say "I can't eat that" it usually because I am allergic to something it's made with..
  • britneyy32
    britneyy32 Posts: 97 Member
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    Yeah it annoys me so much when people say that I don't need to be on a diet. Especially this one specific friend of mine, she always yells at me when I bring up how I'm happy that my stomach is getting flatter and stuff like that. :/ Just because I'm at a normal healthy weight doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement.. I've always been at a healthy weight but I'm not satisfied with myself. I want to get a nice toned body, and to do that I need to lose some body fat to achieve that even though I am currently at a healthy weight. But it's like people just don't understand, like just because I'm not at an unhealthy weight doesn't mean I can't improve myself.
  • kimthazme
    kimthazme Posts: 8 Member
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    First off - that's pretty cool that you have positive people saying nice things to you! The opposite would be toxic! Coming from me as a 52 year old, I am so glad that I never let weight get out of hand when I was younger because it certainly doesn't EVER like to leave now that I'm older and have inched up....then inched up a little farther...etc...etc. So good for you to stay in control while you're young! Also, another thing I'm very thankful for is my low blood pressure and flexibility which I attribute to all my efforts during high school to be able to do the splits for cheerleading tryouts and getting into running in my 20s! You will benefit from what you're doing for the rest of your life - so communicate that goal to keep people from thinking you're just being vain or overly worried!
  • melgillis
    melgillis Posts: 75 Member
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    This past year I've lost over 20 lbs.:smile: Before that I was pushing out of my sz 14 jeans and large tops. I'm 5'8" and lost down to sz 8 with med tops. I guess the change was so profound looking, because I'm tall, EVERYONE has remarked on my weight loss. At first, it's so nice to receive that positive attention and affirmation. But then, the "you look great" turns to "don't lose anymore, I'm concerned for you, are you all right?, ..." And I get fatiqued with all that. I just tell folks that I'm happy where I am, it took a lot of changes to my lifestyle and habits to get here, and no I must remain vigilant, working out and logging my food.

    But I'm like you. i wish folks wouldn't remark so much on my appearance. Because then I feel I need to remark on their's.

    Only you know what your goals are and why. Just say "how kind of you to say that". then smile and change the topic of conversation.
  • melgillis
    melgillis Posts: 75 Member
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    Plus consider the source. Americans are experiencing an obesity epidemic!! On one episode of Biggest Loser, one contestent said she didn't consider herself obese because she was ONLY 300 lbs!

    I guess that's the new normal. Thanks. I'll pass.
  • hanahlai
    hanahlai Posts: 281 Member
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    I hear people say it all the time. I am like you though, I am doing this for me. I want to not only look good; more importantly, I want to FEEL good.
  • laurasimmons
    laurasimmons Posts: 578 Member
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    I hate when people say that!
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    these people are rarely my friends. they try to sabotage you just cause they have bigger fat issues.
  • opalescence
    opalescence Posts: 413 Member
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    I hear this too - I lost 20lbs and people started to notice and tell me that I didn't need to lose any more.

    I think they say stuff like this for several reasons:
    1. As a society, we've lost sight of what a healthy body actually looks like
    2. They are trying to compliment you
    3. If you lose more, it will make them feel bad about their own weight/eating habits
    4. Some people are depressed by the success of others
    5. Misery loves company

    Congrats on your success so far! Keep doing what you need to do for you and your family :happy:

    this hits it dead on for me. I've lost (on good days) 80 lbs and geez I wonder why everyones coming out to hate on my healthy parade. My own Mother said this to me in May (her) what did you eat today? Nooooothing and there was direct emphasis on the nothing part. I was truly hurt by it too.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    The last person who said "you don't need to lose weight" was my therapist and it turned out she was right.
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
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    SOOOOOO TRUE!!!! other people do not understand how I see myself or how I feel about my body, I will probably never be happy with it but I am trying!! :smile:
  • dmjenni
    dmjenni Posts: 26 Member
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    Apparently I don't see the issue with someone saying that because I never get told that. I think I would be happy to hear that and maybe just keep the emphasis on the fact that I'm making healthier choices now so I never have to struggle again. Look at it this way...if people thought you were too large, they would keep it to themselves. If they are remarking on how small you are getting, it's most likely out of their own insecurity and jealousy. And there's really no reason for other people's shortcomings to affect you negatively.

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