Debbie Downers

xochristianna

I was wondering if there was anyone out there who has a problem with nay-sayers, haters, doubters, or general debbie downers - and how to deal with them. My biggest issue with my parents is my weight and their need to constantly tell me that I need to lose it. I understand they want me to be happy and healthy, but they go to extremes and make me feel really bad about myself.

They have gone so far as to send me weight loss books unsolicited, offer to send me to a weight loss spa, and even talk to my co-workers, friends, and fiance about how they want me to lose weight.

Last summer, I got down to the lowest weight I'd been in 2 years, and after a conversation with my parents about how they felt I wasn't making progress, I all but gave up and went back up in weight. Yesterday, I joined Weight Watchers online to hopefully prove to them how seriously I am taking my health, and my mom said that it would do nothing for me and that she thought I needed to go to meetings or a weight loss spa. My dad works in my office and will often come by the lunch room to ask me what I'm eating for lunch and inspect my meal.

These are just a few examples of the issues I'm having. I tried talking to them about how all of this makes me feel, and how it seems to be hindering, not helping my weight loss goals. I just don't know how to escape their constant criticism so that I can get healthy for ME.

Any suggestions? Does anyone have a similar experience? I'm totally at a loss here.

dad106

You are 30 years old and your parents are treating you like you are 10.

I think it's time to tell Mom and Dad that as much as you love them, they need to back off and leave you alone.

You are a big girl who can make her own lunch choices and knows what is good for you and what is not... you do not need dear old dad in their everyday inspecting your lunch.

Every time they mention it, just shut them down by saying I don't want to talk about it and then ignore them when they try to start up again. If they send you books, then send them back saying that you don't want them. Eventually they will get the hint.

ItsMeRebekah

Well for starters id never discuss my weight, what im doing abt it, my goals anything like that with them. If they dont encourage, and only beat you down, dont give them fuel to their fire. I would just smile and say "thanks for the suggestions" or whatnot. I know what its like to work with a family member.. thats stressful enough, but this on top of it? i think id say "look dad, i know you love me but this has to stop. im an adult, i make my own choices, and quite frankly you are driving a wedge between us. It makes me not want to be around you, spend time with you, share my joy or sorrows. Just love me. Thats your only job" idk how you put it before when you said you talked to them, but clearly you need to be way more frank abt the situation!

yoovie

Time to stop caring what they think. youre old enough to walk away from it.

thebaconbeast

Debbie's going to go down and haters going to hate.

Jules2Be

Debbie DOES DALLAS and haters going to hate.

there...fixed it.

Ignore them and do whats best for you!