am i drinking too much??

Desterknee

If you have to ask, then you might be. If your father was an alcoholic (no offense but that's what a bottle a night sounds like to me) then you are at higher risk for alcoholism as well. I don't think there is anything wrong with your partners concern.

That being said no one else can tell you if you've been drinking too much. I would take using alcohol to cope with something (even physical pain) as a bad sign though. It's a slippery slope. I think if his comment was enough to make you come here and ask about it, it certainly wouldn't hurt to cut back. And if you try to cut back and find yourself unable to do so that is DEFINITELY a bad sign. It's not a matter of how much or how often you drink as it is your ability to control your drinking habits.

Just my opinion.

Alderaic

I drink about 2-3 times a week, 3+ drinks each time. I've never considered myself an alcoholic, and no one has ever accused me of it. I drink when I feel like it, and I always have fun with or without it. i think people have some nerve calling you an alcoholic. If you agree with it that is up to you but i don't think that is something that other people have a right to tell you.

depends what you call drinks, glass of wine maybe not, glass of whiskey or vodka, than most likely you are on a good trend

saustin201

If your drinking has gotten to a point when even you're worried about it and you both have to manage it then you have a problem. But it's a fixable problem.

Good luck. You recognize the issue so you can find a course of action to find a solution.

Mellie289

People who don't have a drinking problem will use ibuprofen or Tylenol for ease pain, not alcohol. It sounds like you are definitely on the way to a drinking problem if you aren't already there. Some people have a predisposition to addictions. It sounds like it runs in your family, so I'd take your fiance's concerns seriously.

I'm not so sure that trying to regulate how much you drink, in agreement with your fiance, is going to work. You might have to give it up cold turkey since it seems you can't control yourself and stop at the number of drinks you agree to. BTW -- it's kind of a warning bell to me that you even have to discuss and agree upon how much you will drink. People who don't have a drinking problem don't need to do that.

Assassins_Angel

Thanks everyone! I think i get it now lol ill quit drinking as i do feel its starting to get abit out of hand

sandredee937

If your questioning it at all it means theres a problem. i lived with an alcholic for 11 years (were now divorsed) and now my best friend is one as well,(we dont talk much anymore) i dont understand why, if it runs in your family you would even risk it by drinking at all! is it really worth the risk of destroying your life and making everyone in your family miserable over something that tasts good. (eventually alchole will destroy you if you let it) my advise is to stop now and never touch another drop!

Assassins_Angel

to start with it doesnt "run in my family" its not an inherited disease! my dad is the only one who drinks in my family and i am going to stop if you'd had read my last 2 comments i get it now

Assassins_Angel

4 drinks is not an alcoholic. anybody who says that is not known a true one.
i do think its odd to discuss when and how much you guys should drink tho LOL it should be a free lighthearted thing.

nope, i dont think you are drinking too much going by what you described.

Four drinks every night IS a problem though, and since the OP has made it clear she cannot control her drinking and is using excuses to have more, I'd say it's obvious she is drinking too much. There is nothing 'light-hearted' about being an alcoholic or abusing alcohol. It's already breaking up her relationship, that is not healthy. It should be done in moderation, and putting aside the alcoholism for a moment, it's not good for people dieting either.

woah hold on its not 4 drinks a night'!!! id have one a night and mayvbe a few more over the weekend!! did you even read the opening post!!! and its not destroying my relationship we are fine! and i had a long discussion with him last night its not the fact im drinking its the AMOUNT im drinking! hes fine with me having a couple but when it starts getting to silly amounts he worrys

glovepuppet

i'm sure there are other things you like the taste of. do you need them every day?
IMO, smart drinking is saving it for special occasions.
a party, a night out, etc.

if not having your tipple creates a pang then you have a problem.

glovepuppet

woah hold on its not 4 drinks a night'!!! id have one a night and mayvbe a few more over the weekend!! did you even read the opening post!!! and its not destroying my relationship we are fine! and i had a long discussion with him last night its not the fact im drinking its the AMOUNT im drinking! hes fine with me having a couple but when it starts getting to silly amounts he worrys

i'll risk offending here...

often partners are in denial or just don't understand drinking problems. they think that if it's reduced in quantity then it suddenly becomes ok for their loved one to drink. but drink problems aren't about the quantity really, they're about the mental state. the attachment.

can you go three days without a drink WITHOUT CRAVING, YEARNING OR TEMPTATION? if you can't then there is a problem.

estitom

I agree with some of the above posters: can you go three days without drinking? Can you go a week without drinking? If the answer is no, there is a problem.

It's brave of you to ask for help and advice. You take responsibility and that's very strong of you :flowerforyou:

newlife414

I haven't read any other replys so i'm commenting based on my own experiences.

I was an active AA member for nine months. It was getting to the point where when i drank I ceased to be me. I was sober for 9 months and went back to drinking slowly, however, I still ended up at the point where I started at... I didn't remember a thing and I did things i would have never EVER done sober.

Sometimes recovery groups and groups like AA can care the begeezus out of every one around or related to the individual that has the drinking problem. I feel like this may be the case for you.

Not EVERY decendant of alcoholics become alcoholics. That being said, it is important for those decendants to watch themselves.

There is every reason to watch yourself. There is every reason for you to be especially cautious about drinking and the fact that your boyfried knows this as well is a very special and unique connection for you both.

But at the same time, you cannot allow yourself t obecome a slave to your fathers addiction. The fact that your boyfriend isconcerned for your health and safety is important, but perhaps you should both do some research on the subject of alcoholism, especially as it relates to heredity. That way you can both be informed and more sure that you're both looking out for YOUR best interests as a grown adult as well as half of a relationship.

Good luck to you!

Assassins_Angel

woah hold on its not 4 drinks a night'!!! id have one a night and mayvbe a few more over the weekend!! did you even read the opening post!!! and its not destroying my relationship we are fine! and i had a long discussion with him last night its not the fact im drinking its the AMOUNT im drinking! hes fine with me having a couple but when it starts getting to silly amounts he worrys

i'll risk offending here...

often partners are in denial or just don't understand drinking problems. they think that if it's reduced in quantity then it suddenly becomes ok for their loved one to drink. but drink problems aren't about the quantity really, they're about the mental state. the attachment.

can you go three days without a drink WITHOUT CRAVING, YEARNING OR TEMPTATION? if you can't then there is a problem.

im not in denial im aware im drinking too much and yes i can ive done it before and i had done fine until my accident and i was hoping the whiskey would take the edge off and yes im aware reaching for alcohol in that situation is bad but at the time painkillers werent touching it and since my accident i havent had a drink and i dont plan on having one anytime soon

Assassins_Angel

I haven't read any other replys so i'm commenting based on my own experiences.

I was an active AA member for nine months. It was getting to the point where when i drank I ceased to be me. I was sober for 9 months and went back to drinking slowly, however, I still ended up at the point where I started at... I didn't remember a thing and I did things i would have never EVER done sober.

Sometimes recovery groups and groups like AA can care the begeezus out of every one around or related to the individual that has the drinking problem. I feel like this may be the case for you.

Not EVERY decendant of alcoholics become alcoholics. That being said, it is important for those decendants to watch themselves.

There is every reason to watch yourself. There is every reason for you to be especially cautious about drinking and the fact that your boyfried knows this as well is a very special and unique connection for you both.

But at the same time, you cannot allow yourself t obecome a slave to your fathers addiction. The fact that your boyfriend isconcerned for your health and safety is important, but perhaps you should both do some research on the subject of alcoholism, especially as it relates to heredity. That way you can both be informed and more sure that you're both looking out for YOUR best interests as a grown adult as well as half of a relationship.

Good luck to you!

thankyou this is very helpful luckily for me when i do drink i know when ive had enough so i stop drinking, ive only been "drunk" once and i did not like that feeling and swore id never drink to that extent again and i havent but i am stopping i have a little bit left im going to finish it ( never waste whiskey lol) and im not having any more

newlife414

woah hold on its not 4 drinks a night'!!! id have one a night and mayvbe a few more over the weekend!! did you even read the opening post!!! and its not destroying my relationship we are fine! and i had a long discussion with him last night its not the fact im drinking its the AMOUNT im drinking! hes fine with me having a couple but when it starts getting to silly amounts he worrys

i'll risk offending here...

often partners are in denial or just don't understand drinking problems. they think that if it's reduced in quantity then it suddenly becomes ok for their loved one to drink. but drink problems aren't about the quantity really, they're about the mental state. the attachment.

can you go three days without a drink WITHOUT CRAVING, YEARNING OR TEMPTATION? if you can't then there is a problem.

I hate to say anything, but this question is completey un-indicative of whether or not you're an alcoholic. There are pleanty of people in this world who have a drink or two every day and suffer no other symptoms of alcoholism. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who fool themselves with this rule thinking "I can easily go a week without drinking" and believe they're not suffering from alcoholism.

The true test is within ourself. Is your drinking affecting your daily life? Your relationships? Do you drink so much/so often that you have a hard time knowing who you are? What are your reasons for drinking?

There's alot more than simple yes or no answers to determine whether or not you have a drinking problem. You have to seek the answer inside yourself to come up with that answer. And you might get it wrong the first few times... but that's ok.

All you need to know is thart your life is yours and you are not required to be or feel or act any certain way.

Be who you are. If anything is getting in the way of that... change it.

Assassins_Angel

woah hold on its not 4 drinks a night'!!! id have one a night and mayvbe a few more over the weekend!! did you even read the opening post!!! and its not destroying my relationship we are fine! and i had a long discussion with him last night its not the fact im drinking its the AMOUNT im drinking! hes fine with me having a couple but when it starts getting to silly amounts he worrys

i'll risk offending here...

often partners are in denial or just don't understand drinking problems. they think that if it's reduced in quantity then it suddenly becomes ok for their loved one to drink. but drink problems aren't about the quantity really, they're about the mental state. the attachment.

can you go three days without a drink WITHOUT CRAVING, YEARNING OR TEMPTATION? if you can't then there is a problem.

I hate to say anything, but this question is completey indicative of whether or not you're an alcoholic. There are pleanty of people in this world who have a drink or two every day and suffer no other symptoms of alcoholism. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who fool themselves with this rule thinking "I can easily go a week without drinking" and believe they're not suffering from alcoholism.

The true test is within ourself. Is your drinking affecting your daily life? Your relationships? Do you drink so much/so often that you have a hard time knowing who you are? What are your reasons for drinking?

There's alot more than simple yes or no answers to determine whether or not you have a drinking problem. You have to seek the answer inside yourself to come up with that answer. And you might get it wrong the first few times... but that's ok.

All you need to know is thart your life is yours and you are not required to be or feel or act any certain way.

Be who you are. If anything is getting in the way of that... change it.

you are very right in what you say, i can say though that it does not affect my daily life and it doesnt affect my relationship its only started becoming a problem recently and i dont want it to get any worse so im stopping and it will help my weightloss

hbunting86

If you're questioning yourself, then I think in honesty you've answered your own question.

I'm an all or nothing person - and in this case it's better to be a 'nothing' than an 'all'.

The point at which drinking becomes a discussion, and you have to reach agreements and set limits means that there may be something a little deeper. Kick it before it kicks you, is my advice.

Feel free to friend me

glovepuppet

i'm pretty sure i said it's not about quantity...

also, there are a lot of functional addicts out there. people whose friends, work mates and families never realise there is anything wrong.

glovepuppet

you are very right in what you say, i can say though that it does not affect my daily life and it doesnt affect my relationship its only started becoming a problem recently and i dont want it to get any worse so im stopping and it will help my weightloss

that's the smartest thing to do

newlife414

woah hold on its not 4 drinks a night'!!! id have one a night and mayvbe a few more over the weekend!! did you even read the opening post!!! and its not destroying my relationship we are fine! and i had a long discussion with him last night its not the fact im drinking its the AMOUNT im drinking! hes fine with me having a couple but when it starts getting to silly amounts he worrys

i'll risk offending here...

often partners are in denial or just don't understand drinking problems. they think that if it's reduced in quantity then it suddenly becomes ok for their loved one to drink. but drink problems aren't about the quantity really, they're about the mental state. the attachment.

can you go three days without a drink WITHOUT CRAVING, YEARNING OR TEMPTATION? if you can't then there is a problem.

I hate to say anything, but this question is completey indicative of whether or not you're an alcoholic. There are pleanty of people in this world who have a drink or two every day and suffer no other symptoms of alcoholism. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who fool themselves with this rule thinking "I can easily go a week without drinking" and believe they're not suffering from alcoholism.

The true test is within ourself. Is your drinking affecting your daily life? Your relationships? Do you drink so much/so often that you have a hard time knowing who you are? What are your reasons for drinking?

There's alot more than simple yes or no answers to determine whether or not you have a drinking problem. You have to seek the answer inside yourself to come up with that answer. And you might get it wrong the first few times... but that's ok.

All you need to know is thart your life is yours and you are not required to be or feel or act any certain way.

Be who you are. If anything is getting in the way of that... change it.

you are very right in what you say, i can say though that it does not affect my daily life and it doesnt affect my relationship its only started becoming a problem recently and i dont want it to get any worse so im stopping and it will help my weightloss

You are very correct, it will help your weightloss!!! Alcohol is definitely not good for the body, but that doesn't necessarily negate it's benefits to the mood!

If you have any questions or anything, please feel free to ask! I have done tons and tons of research on alcoholism and addiction in efforts to erradicate my own issues. My parents NEVER drink alcohol so I often wondered where my affinity for it came from, and hense read alot about why and how.

I do currently drink, and so far I havent gotten myself in too much trouble, but I guess only time will tell for me!

Please, just be confident in the fact that you are your own self, and mistakes of the father do not pass down to the son (or daughter, as it were), our parents job is to make sure that we live better lives than they did and our child live better lives than we.

Choose to be yourself. Or who you want to be, and live that life. No other is suitable... because who you are is beautiful and wonderful and no substance, no person, no words, thoughts or images can take that away from you.