hurtful comments = motivation?

brightpebbles89
brightpebbles89 Posts: 78 Member
in Motivation and Support
does anyone find that hurtful comments make them more motivated?
«1

Replies

  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    I use everything negative as fuel
  • Worth_the_Weight
    Worth_the_Weight Posts: 6
    Eh I'm an emotional creature so words = hurtful for me...especially the infamous "You have such a pretty face, if you lost weight you'd be....".

    ACTIONS = Motivation (4 me). Kinda twisted but when people act negative toward me whether it be just plain "hatin'" (ie eye rolling, sabotage) or me missing opportunities because someones judging me by my weight or simply me not participating in activities due to my self consciousness . Things that get in the way of my life are strong motivators for me.
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    yes, we are going to see my in-laws next month and that is a big motivation, my MIL likes to make snide little comments, even though the highest i've even been was 130, so she can suck it. not that it matters, she will still have something to say no matter what i do... glad she lives in another state
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    I think truly hurtful comments are inappropriate and not useful. However, hard but honest criticism is sometimes needed. I have seen far too many MFPrs seeking quick solutions to a problem that cannot be solved quickly.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i love for people to call me things (like fat) to keep me motivated. it helps a ton.

    hating yourself just gets old after a while.
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    Dita von Teese said something along the lines of, "you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." Hurtful people are part of life, unfortunately, but your strength comes from how much you let those comments define who you are. As hard as it can be, remember that you're only living your life for one person, and that's yourself. Use whatever you need to stay motivated, and just remember that there just will be no pleasing some people - even if you're a total peach!
  • RainaWalks
    RainaWalks Posts: 72
    no hurtful comments don't motivate me...they are buzz killers for me and leave me reeling...

    i respond better to gentle encouragement...
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    speaking of hurtful comments...i had one two summers ago when i weighed about 150; 15 pounds less than what I weigh now...I was at a bar during the day near the beach having a few drinks enjoying the music and dancing with my best friend along with every stranger in sight (boys or chicks). Just having a good time. Anyway, a random guy starts to make his way and his buddy pulls him aside and "whispers" in his ear "no fat chicks".... mother effer....i read lips and i saw what you just said! grrrr....and no, his buddy didnt dance with me.

    It didnt motivate me AT ALL but it did crush my heart and i dwelled on that one little stupid comment for weeks :(
  • Sox90716
    Sox90716 Posts: 976 Member
    does anyone find that hurtful comments make them more motivated?

    Yes, especially when they were being yelled at you by angry, demented Army drill sergeants! :smile:
  • cnewlin86
    cnewlin86 Posts: 87
    I was out running with my son the other day and we went by a family member's house where a mutal friend was visiting. We stopped and the friend said, "your doing what I need to be doing. I've put on weight and I can see you have too. Last summer you looked a lot thinner." I smiled and said, yes I had put on weight which was why I was running and trying to get back in shape. I didn't get mad because to me it was like an eye opening moment.

    Sometimes we get in a bubble and think that we are the only ones that have noticed our weight gain. I thought I was hiding it with my clothes and that maybe no one noticed but now I know that others have noticed and I'm sure they've even remarked on it to other people. Who hasn't at some point in there life ran into someone and than later said to their friend, mother, spouse, whoever "have you seen Jane Doe lately?? SHe is really putting on some weight!"

    I know that I have done that and now I'm on the other end of it. People have noticed I have gained weight and if I wasnt all ready trying to do something about it I would have started than. Instead I am using it as motivation to keep going. WHen people talk about me behind my back I dont want it to be because Ive gained weight but rather because I've lost it and I lost by eating right and exercising. Not some miracle pills or drinks. I'm working hard to lose this weight and I will succeed!
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    speaking of hurtful comments...i had one two summers ago when i weighed about 150; 15 pounds less than what I weigh now...I was at a bar during the day near the beach having a few drinks enjoying the music and dancing with my best friend along with every stranger in sight (boys or chicks). Just having a good time. Anyway, a random guy starts to make his way and his buddy pulls him aside and "whispers" in his ear "no fat chicks".... mother effer....i read lips and i saw what you just said! grrrr....and no, his buddy didnt dance with me.

    It didnt motivate me AT ALL but it did crush my heart and i dwelled on that one little stupid comment for weeks :(
    That is horrible!! What a ****. That guy isn't even worth your time.

    I had a similar thing happen - when I was 19, I was so tiny! I think I was... 135 or something? I am 5'7" by the way. I was dating a guy who one night while cuddling on the couch, pinched my stomach skin and said "babe you're so perfect, if you just lost a couple more inches from your stomach..." There are just always going to be people like that out there! These days, if someone tries to take me down like that again, I just turn around and walk away and let them get a good long look at my lovely posterior, which they are kindly invited to kiss. :drinker:
  • Leiki
    Leiki Posts: 526 Member
    Reverse psychology definitely works for me. It is the one reason I still believe my parents are looking out for my best interest. I have to believe they know this about me, and they are doing it on purpose, haha. If we were all perfectly healthy, mentally, we would not struggle with weight.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    Dita von Teese said something along the lines of, "you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." Hurtful people are part of life, unfortunately, but your strength comes from how much you let those comments define who you are. As hard as it can be, remember that you're only living your life for one person, and that's yourself. Use whatever you need to stay motivated, and just remember that there just will be no pleasing some people - even if you're a total peach!
    wow can I repost this on my page??????
  • cgsr
    cgsr Posts: 113
    Eventually it can turn into motivation for me, but initially it's just that, hurtful. I'm of the sensitive heritage. :)
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    Dita von Teese said something along the lines of, "you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." Hurtful people are part of life, unfortunately, but your strength comes from how much you let those comments define who you are. As hard as it can be, remember that you're only living your life for one person, and that's yourself. Use whatever you need to stay motivated, and just remember that there just will be no pleasing some people - even if you're a total peach!
    wow can I repost this on my page??????

    Sure, yo!
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    [/quote]
    That is horrible!! What a ****. That guy isn't even worth your time.

    I had a similar thing happen - when I was 19, I was so tiny! I think I was... 135 or something? I am 5'7" by the way. I was dating a guy who one night while cuddling on the couch, pinched my stomach skin and said "babe you're so perfect, if you just lost a couple more inches from your stomach..." There are just always going to be people like that out there! These days, if someone tries to take me down like that again, I just turn around and walk away and let them get a good long look at my lovely posterior, which they are kindly invited to kiss. :drinker:
    [/quote]

    hahahaha yup. Guys can be so mean! (no offense to any on here) but i've had some horrible experiences...this only being a minor incidient.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    oops didnt post the quote right...sorry
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    That is horrible!! What a ****. That guy isn't even worth your time.

    I had a similar thing happen - when I was 19, I was so tiny! I think I was... 135 or something? I am 5'7" by the way. I was dating a guy who one night while cuddling on the couch, pinched my stomach skin and said "babe you're so perfect, if you just lost a couple more inches from your stomach..." There are just always going to be people like that out there! These days, if someone tries to take me down like that again, I just turn around and walk away and let them get a good long look at my lovely posterior, which they are kindly invited to kiss. :drinker:
    [/quote]

    hahahaha yup. Guys can be so mean! (no offense to any on here) but i've had some horrible experiences...this only being a minor incidient.
    [/quote]

    Well as a representative of the male species I want to say your pretty effing hot!!!
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    My mom, at my highest weight, told me to "accept" that I was a "full-blown woman" and would never be able to lose weight. 23 pounds later and I'm in the best shape of my life.... I was a little motivated by spite.
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    Yes...it fuels my desire to keep going, but I find it rather irritating when people make those kinds of comments, as if it is really any of their business!!!
  • phoenix8633
    phoenix8633 Posts: 137 Member
    I think hurtful comments gives me more motivation. Sometimes I have to stare at myself in the mirror which gets me down but then gives me more motivation to lose the weight.
    The worse thing for me is when people e.g. family members know you're dieting and come out with "god you've lost weight" when it is blatantly not true. That just makes me angry not motivated even though I know they're just trying to make you feel better but when you know yourself that you haven't lost weight it just makes things worse. thats for me personally anyway. But now if and when they say it I just say "well i haven't so no need to try and make me feel better" I'm just honest with them!
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
    Depends on who it is coming from an the context. When someone makes an unintentional but extremely honest comment that stings a bit, when someone is intentionally being an asshat I know that their hasshattery inhibits them from having an real valuable credible opinions or perceptions and they can pretty much just sit on a rusted bicycle without a seat.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    That is horrible!! What a ****. That guy isn't even worth your time.

    I had a similar thing happen - when I was 19, I was so tiny! I think I was... 135 or something? I am 5'7" by the way. I was dating a guy who one night while cuddling on the couch, pinched my stomach skin and said "babe you're so perfect, if you just lost a couple more inches from your stomach..." There are just always going to be people like that out there! These days, if someone tries to take me down like that again, I just turn around and walk away and let them get a good long look at my lovely posterior, which they are kindly invited to kiss. :drinker:
    [/quote]

    I was 125 lbs at 5'7 in 2006 from an ED and after I married hubby in November 2007 he always made me eat which made me gain 50+ lbs in almost 5 years we have been married.
    hahahaha yup. Guys can be so mean! (no offense to any on here) but i've had some horrible experiences...this only being a minor incidient.
    [/quote]
  • SpazzyMal
    SpazzyMal Posts: 276 Member
    Hurtful comments generally just make me cry. Honest comments are one thing. But if they're just rude and not tactful... then I'd rather not hear it.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    A month ago I was walking to the trail and a older man was standing in his driveway and said to me "They are teenagers before you know it." He thought I was pregnant and I am not (as far as I know anyways). I told my older sister (she had gastric bypass surgery 6 years ago) what he said and she replied "Yeah, a lot of people thought I was pregnant when I was fat too." I was spending time with my family last month for the holiday and my parents long time friend said "So what size you in now...a 14?" I have NO support anyone except from my husband and twin sister:happy: Not sure if all that hateful comments would be motivation cause they were hateful and mean :frown:
  • lbcbeachbum77
    lbcbeachbum77 Posts: 78 Member
    Nope... sorry. I was married 16 years married to a man that always put me down, I could never ever lose the weight despite really wanting to please him. Now that he is no longer in my life, I am finally finding ample motivation of my own... the positive, self-loving kind! :wink:
  • pornstarzombie
    pornstarzombie Posts: 297
    Hurtful comments and bullying is what started me going in middle school/highschool and what fueled my eating disorder.

    So no, it doesn't make me motivated, it hurts my feelings and then I get sent into a self-destructive cycle.

    I workout for me, and me only. My motivation is being healthy to ride my horses to the level of competition I want to be in.
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
    does anyone find that hurtful comments make them more motivated?
    No it would be the opposite for me. I would think no oneis going to tell me that, so Id go eat what i wanted, I dont do it for anyone but me and thats it.
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
    Hurtful comments and bullying is what started me going in middle school/highschool and what fueled my eating disorder.

    So no, it doesn't make me motivated, it hurts my feelings and then I get sent into a self-destructive cycle.

    I workout for me, and me only. My motivation is being healthy to ride my horses to the level of competition I want to be in.
    Exactly, some people are total ****s and they stay that way all there life, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  • bmarie612
    bmarie612 Posts: 221 Member
    I had a guy come to my door asking to clean my windows and I told him "No thanks". Then, walked away he yelled "Jenny Craig!" It hurt... BAD... I was very upset but he just added another reason to my list. I already knew I needed to lose weight.

    A week or so later a girl down the street was yelling down to me as I was walking into my house asking me to jump her car. I just kept walking because I had my son and a bunch of groceries to put inside. She then yelled " Okay, maybe next time FAT *kitten*"

    ... I wouln't say those situations motivated me because I was really sensitive 52 lbs ago. They just gave me a cruel reminder I needed to do something... FAST.

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