Destined for fatness.

jimbo2180

Have you ever had the feeling that you arent cut out to join the folks on the lower side of the BMI slider? I've been a fairly large guy throughout my life. Surely its not just me that cant see a change in the future. No matter how much i want it? Lemme know.

Melanie_RS

well, I'm sure there are other people that can see it that way!

I also think that some people are genetically gifted with different kinds of muscle fibers - the kind that seem to react and form more quickly than other people - so they get an automatic reinforcement for their "healthy habits" more than the people who have less of that kind of muscle fiber and it takes MUCH more effort to achieve a certain look. (does that make sense?)

so, with that being said, it might take more work for some people and therefore it might be harder to see oneself "there" ......

I just get irritated with people who seem to be naturally inclined to be athletic that look down on people that aren't. I really do believe it takes more from some people than others. But, in the end, everyone can get there - it's just a lot of work! Well worth the effort though!!

caraiselite

no.. i didn't get fat til after i had kids

good thing low carbing helps me

annabellj

I always thought that! dont give up! you can do it!

FuneralDiner

I too have been 'big' my whole life, but that's because of uneducated/uncaring parents and laziness on my part. If you feel like you can't do this, you're probably not ready to take the big leap and actually DO IT. If you need the motivation, feel free to add me.

chivalryder

^I'll second FuneralDiner's invitation to add me as well.

She can vouch for how supportive I can be.

As for me, I'll NEVER be able to get to the low end of the BMI scale. As I sit right now, the lowest I can go, and still be healthy, is 22.6. Once I build some muscle, I'll be tipping the scale for "overweight." I'm just a big guy. When I'm finished here, I won't be fat, but I am, as they would say, "big boned." Nothing wrong with that.

elcieloesazul

Yes! You are not alone. But, a lifetime of health is worth so much more than a few hours or days of struggle from diet and exercise. Losing weight isn't easy...if it were, we'd all be at our goals. However, stick with it, keep your goals in mind, and more importantly, believe that you are WORTH the time and effort for change!

vtmoon

You can change anything if you put your mind and soul into it. A year ago I use to eat a large stuff crust pizza from Pizza Hut alone in one sitting, this pass week I ate a quarter of a large pizza and I felt like my stomach was going to explode. It's choices we make that can change us, baby steps and you can one day look at the fatness and smile cause it will be a memory.

But only if you decide to do something about it.

MFPBONNIE

I SEE YOU JUST JOINED IN JULY THIS YEAR. GIVE IT CHANCE - NOTHING WORKED FOR ME REALLY UNLESS I WENT ON STRICT DIETS WHICH I HATED. I STARTED SHEDDING THE WEIGHT WHEN I JOINED THIS SITE CAUSE EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT HERE FOR ME, NO PENCIL AND PAPER NECESSARY, NO GOING FROM THIS SITE FOR CALORIE COUNT AND THAT SITE FOR EXERCISE BURN. LETS GET AT IT DUDE, YOU CAN DO IT FOR YOURSELF, RIGHT? PARDON THE ALL CAPS, I TYPE THE WAY I WANT TO WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, SOMETIMES I LOVE CAPS. IT GETS ON PEOPLE'S NERVES, THEY CAN JUST SKIP ON DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT.

jimbo2180

Im not going to lie. Its difficult for me to get my head around. Your circle of friends have a little chuckle when you go for the healthy option and they're rocking the Big Mac meal. But im ready for this, I know I am. I've been ready for years but somewhere in the back of my mind a take-away is just so appealing!, even though i feel like hurling after i've destroyed every last bit of food on my plate. it's curious how the mind works.

All my life ive wanted nothing more than to be healthy, have clothes that fit me properly, and be able to run to my hearts content. Little things like that mean the world to me, and now im willing to do anything to get that.

Loving the support here by the way guys!

nichojanes

Jimbo,
I don't think there are many people in this world that are 'destine' to be fat. The natural state of humans is not intended to be fat, although build varies greatly.
The key to this is 1. wanting to change 2. knowing you can change 3. eating right and exercising 4.getting the support you need.
Personally I find with MFP the best thing to do is to open your food diary up to be public so your friends and others can see what you are eating. Many people will comment and give tips daily that can motivate you and make you realise what you do wrong.
You can do this is you really want to.
Nicho

curtnrod

Whatever you think...you are right. If you're not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you're willing to learn, no one can stop you.

If you want to be obese, you can. If you want to be healthy and comfortable with your body, you can. What you think is a self fulfilling prophecy. What do you want? Believe, commit and achieve.

If you need a friend to support you, feel free to add me

lanie37

The biggest help for me has been not calling it a diet, but a lifestyle change. I will never be a six 6 model type, but will be over the moon if I get to a size 14. (UK size) I got curves and want to be proud of them.
You need to find whats right for you, but we are all here to help get to where you want to be.

RainaWalks

i'm big boned and even when i was really skinny in my 20s people would always tell me that one day i would be fat...i hated that but then i started taking medication that causes weight gain and sure enough i went up to 345 lbs...i thought i was stuck...everybody had been saying that my whole life...but i was able to lose 145 pounds and am here only because i was unable to exercise and ate for comfort during a difficult time....

i now tell those people to shut up...or if anyone says that to me ...i no longer associate with them...WTF?

you can do it....it just takes work....and coming up with some sort of strategy....

waiting to lose the weight is the hardest part for me...the results are not immediate so it is good that you found this site...i am so glad i found it...it is helping me count calories..something i never thought i would be able to do...

good luck ...

jimbo2180

Reading these has put a smile on my face. Its good to know some people have are/have been in the situation and have powered through the tough times or can see the exit sign in view. Im usually a fairly active person. When rugby season kicks in a play 3 times a week but for now im going the gym 3 times a week, most weeks and badminton once or twice a week. So ive always done exercise but as stupid as it sounds maybe im scared to leave the old me behind. The funny fat guy whos great for a laugh and a beer.

Im ready for this, I want this, its all ive ever wanted

danasings

I felt the same way for years. The scale went up and down, up and down...then up. After I had my 1st baby I spent three years (including during my 2nd pregnancy) mentally prepping myself for a healthy, permanent lifestyle. Positive thoughts, writing, and verbalizing. I spent three years preparing for this journey, and that's how I know it's permanent this time. I have some really, truly AWFUL days where I feel defeated, but I visualize my goal, and I make it one day instead of all of my days. You CAN do it when you are truly ready to. Best of luck, add me if you'd like another friend to support you and cheer you on!

danasings

Reading these has put a smile on my face. Its good to know some people have are/have been in the situation and have powered through the tough times or can see the exit sign in view. Im usually a fairly active person. When rugby season kicks in a play 3 times a week but for now im going the gym 3 times a week, most weeks and badminton once or twice a week. So ive always done exercise but as stupid as it sounds maybe im scared to leave the old me behind. The funny fat guy whos great for a laugh and a beer.

Im ready for this, I want this, its all ive ever wanted

I think fear plays an integral role! Deep down many of us are afraid of the success of weight loss...the "now what?" feeling, the fact that it doesn't magically make your life everything you've ever dreamed it to be. Doing the physical and emotional work is necessary to make the weight stay off.

Vonwarr

Feel free to add me for motivation and support as well! That is... if you don't mind the occasional metal quote.

I've always been on the heavy side of BMI as well - but keep in mind BMI is only one measure of fitness... it's only an approximation - one that is known to be not very accurate on larger framed or muscular people. Frame size, body composition, (basically your body fat %) and measurements are a more accurate way of measuring your fitness level.

I've been ready for years but somewhere in the back of my mind a take-away is just so appealing!, even though i feel like hurling after i've destroyed every last bit of food on my plate. it's curious how the mind works.

Just wanted to mention that this quote sounds like binge eating... something I and many others have struggled with in the past. If you are aware of it (and logging calories on MFP is a great way to stay aware) then you can work to avoid doing that, until it no longer is a subconscious habit. I wish you luck on your journey!

aaz271

I agreed with lanie37 with the idea that it is a lifestyle change-- not a diet, and can be quite a journey for yourself. We're all here to help. It can be done!

timmymon

Dude I felt that way pretty much my whole life, well at least until sometime last year. There is no such thing as being destined for fatness, I promise. Work your *kitten* off and make the choice NOW to never look back. You will be amazed at where you can be in a year

LindaCWy

You can change anything if you put your mind and soul into it. A year ago I use to eat a large stuff crust pizza from Pizza Hut alone in one sitting, this pass week I ate a quarter of a large pizza and I felt like my stomach was going to explode. It's choices we make that can change us, baby steps and you can one day look at the fatness and smile cause it will be a memory.

But only if you decide to do something about it.

This. No such thing as "destined for fatness". Dont submit to that excuse.

jfatheree78

I think I understand what you are saying. Like you, I have been overweight most of my life and I have a hard time seeing myself at a healthy, normal weight. I kind of feel like I was just made to be big. My grandmother and mother were both obese women so it seems natural that I would be, too. That being said, I am really excited to see where this journey will take me and see what I will look like. I'm already seeing some changes, but not enough to make a real difference.
It is really difficult to see your thinner friends eat whatever foods they like while we struggle to eat as healthy as possible and still look the way we do. It will be worth it though when we reach our goals.
Best of luck to you, and I look forward to seeing the healthier, fitter you!

Givingitagdgo

Felt exactly the same way but I figure just take baby steps. I realised today that Im 10lbs down and while that doesnt seem like much in light of the mimnimum 100lbs I need to lose its 1/10th of the way there which is way less scary. We werent born this way so I have to believe its possible to get into the right side of the BMI although there's nothing wrong with being a bit over if its how you're built. If you want to add me feel free, keep us updated.
xx

luvssc

You can do it!!! I think it is mind over matter!! You have to be in th emindset. So, look check step 1 off you joined. That's progress!! Right? ::happy:

melaniealedgerwood

Hi buddy,
I'm a mom and a grandma. I'd love to give you a little moral support in the way of life experience.
My daugher, who is 32, was born with a rare genetic error. Her diagnosis is Prader-Willi Syndrome. You google it. Man it's a killer. Literally.
Basically, she got a double whammy! People with this disorder have damage in their hypothalmus - the place in our brain that sends satiety messages. They are never full. The brain just keeps telling them they are hungry. Add to that, a very slow metabolism, early onset osteoporosis and all sorts of learning disabilities. Life is frustrating with this disease.
HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS! She, unlike many folks with this disease, is not obese. Living in a healthy environment, with a diet that is strictly monitored, she stays active with a little help from me and a caregiver. She eats under 1200 calories a day.
She's usually happy. (That was not always the case though).
The point is - it's not impossible to be trim and healthy. You have to decide what you want you life to look like.
God created you perfectly! You CAN do it. You are not destined for fatness. You are destined for good health and a fun future!
Blessings...

DaSavedSinner

You Sound like me....Well the old me. If you look at my ticker below I can assure you I was out of control and when I started dieting the first thing I said to my wife was "this will never work" that as you can see was over 130lbs ago. Its a new life completely, You don't get healthier by just dieting, once your weight goes down you start building a lot of good things such as Self control, self confidence, self respect, but you notice those all start with self.....as in ONLY you can get yourSELF into the place you want to be. I was a guy that used to eat anything and everything I have been over 300lbs since I was in Middle school, eating meals that would double or triple my DAILY intake today. I had no confidence, control, energy, health, or respect for myself but in 8 months I am where i am now, and that is proof that even the most out of control eating lifestyle can change into a healthier happier you.

I started this journey knowing I was going to fail....So in all fairness I should have. But after that first week I dropped 10lbs and I asked God for the strength and focus to keep going. I did, and I will continue it not just for myself but for people like you that need the push to get themselves to take control of the life they have and turn it into the life that they desire. If not for yourself you can always think of the family and friends that care for you and think of the praise they will give for the new you. I love going places and running into people that don't recognize me, including people I have known my entire life. I used to be bad diabetic, 4+ shots of insulin, max dose of Pill for diabetes and high blood pressure, NOT anymore, I no longer take any meds for diabetes or High blood pressure. You can do it and you will do it, you just have to take the steps in the right direction. I am sure many here will agree with me that getting on MFP was your first large step to the new you. If you ever need an inspiration just look me up, I want to see you be able to have my story as your own and you have the story to tell that inspires others to take control of their food, their health, their LIFE. If you need a friend on MFP there are many that would be glad to inspire you, including myself. So remember, It is better to try and Fail then to Fail because you never tried. Today is only tomorrow's yesterday, You must learn from yesterday, work on today, and plan for a healthier tomorrow.

God Bless you my friend and I wish you the best.

tobnrn

Nobody is destined to be fat. BMI is one tool and not the be all end all of fitness. You can do this. Calories in vs calories out. If you want that big mac, eat it if it fits in your calories. Lots of great people with good advice here. You said you go to the gym. Lift heavy. Increase weights. Watch utube videos for form. Enjoy the ride. Its soooo worth it.

DaSavedSinner

Im not going to lie. Its difficult for me to get my head around. Your circle of friends have a little chuckle when you go for the healthy option and they're rocking the Big Mac meal.

Trust me the little chuckle is way worth it on the day they are in shock that you are giving them advice on what they thought was not possible....I am proof of that. The feeling of your friends looking at you in better health than them is a funny one, but at the same time they might get inspired to join you and take the step to improve their health too.

But im ready for this, I know I am.

Yes you are, so do it!

EAlexandraB

So ive always done exercise but as stupid as it sounds maybe im scared to leave the old me behind. The funny fat guy whos great for a laugh and a beer.

I think this is the root of your problem. Remember that you can still be the same guy, just in a smaller package - start thinking of yourself as the "funny guy who's good for a laugh and a beer," and delete the "fat" part!

I think it's pretty normal when on this type of journey to worry about leaving the old "you" behind, and losing the things you love about your life in the process. (I tend to think that this is why people tend to cling to their old, "bad" eating habits or sedentary lifestyle, even in the midst of trying to change their weight.) But I DON'T think that losing weight has to mean the end of your current identity. Those who are most successful in this game adapt their identities to include eating well and being active. So, I'd advise you to tell yourself (literally out loud - it sounds stupid, but it works!) that you are a funny, FIT guy, who lives a healthy and active lifestyle, and is good for a laugh and a beer.

The other element that plays into the "destined for fatness" feeling that so many people (myself included, in the past) experience is a serious fear of failure. We all worry that we'll make all the right choices, totally change our lives, and...nothing. That's why I'm a strong advocate of having *lifestyle* goals, and having weight loss goals be secondary. If you aim to change the way you eat for the better and to be more active, you can succeed at those things regardless of the speed with which you lose weight. The weight WILL come off, but by focusing on other goals, you won't get hung up on "fatness." Make goals for your workouts, for your nutrition, etc. Meet those, and the weight will more than likely take care of itself!

Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like!

wackyfunster

You can be destined for whatever you choose to be destined for.

arcticfox04

Your only Destined for fatness mentally. Its all in your head personally. Go see a weight loss counselor. I think if you had the right mindset and tools you can lose as much weight as you want.