Finding the KEY motivation for myself

swtsarina

I'm at my lowest point and highest peak in lbs.

Long story short: Wveryone keeps telling me to lose weight for me but I am having such a hard time motivating myself to lose weight for me.

I feel like I am constantly losing weight to please my nagging/super concerned mom or pleasing my boyfriend so he doesn't get tired of my ugly self.

I just can't seem to get motivated for ME and I am quite lost in thought. As I am eating or exercising, all I can think of is: I hope I lose weight to shut people off so I can breathe and live my life in peace instead of being nagged and watched everyday as to what I am eating or how much I am exercising.

I'm so sad because I lost my inner voice to want to do this for me. How do I go about changing my mentality on this?

Ugh I feel hopeless and stupid. I don't know why I can't feel what my head logically tells me is right.

buckeyenurse911

I understand completely where you are coming from. I feel fat and worthless, and not in the fishing for compliments kind of way. It is the I want to curl up in a ball and stay in bed all day way. BUT, I love my sons. So, that will just not work. Today I drug myself to the gym. I have been working up to it for weeks. I downloaded some super peppy songs to my ipod, and actually felt good later when I got showered and was out running around. I was be-bopping to my new music, and someone saw me and smiled. That is all it took. Hopefully tomorrow I can say something nice or compliment someone to make them smile. It makes me feel worth the space that I am taking up, and makes me feel like I should be kinder to the person inside as I am to the people around me. Does that make any sense?

kuriboshoe

One way to move toward doing it for you is finding a type of exercise that you really enjoy - something that makes you feel good in body and spirit. The gym doesn't do that for me. Yoga, hoop dance and walking through the woods does. If you experiment and find a form of movement that makes you feel saner, happier, or is fun (like playing ping pong with a friend) do it and focus on the positive emotional aspects of it.

For me, those types of exercises may not burn as many calories as the elliptical machine, but offer more satisfying motivation - so I'm more likely to want to do them.

fiberartist219

If you don't want to do it, then don't.

Seriously, working out just to please someone else will only make you resentful... and hungry.

First things first, find yourself some confidence, regardless of your weight. Find some FUN people to be around, and maybe spend some time away from the Debbie Downers until they learn to buck up and love you just the way you are. Buy some cute clothes or accessories that make you feel good to wear, even at your largest size. Do your hair up nicely. Just do something that warrants a smile!

Then, only after you learn to appreciate yourself, just as you are, will you actually want to do something nice and healthy for yourself.

If you are really struggling with this, you might also want to seek counseling.

As you learn to appreciate yourself, then you'll find less inhibitions to exercise and eating right. It will still take a little bit of motivation, but you won't be doing it for all the wrong reasons anymore.

VogtAndrea

Figure out what form of movement you are happiest when you do. For me that was swimming. I had to get past the sad fact that kids are mean and harsh to do it too. I found an aquafit class and managed (barely) to stick it out the first time. For the last almost a month, I've been on a plateau and now I'm trying MFP to see where I'm screwing up. Now I've added swimming a few laps to the aquafit just to make sure that I do more than an hour of continuous movement and walking at least one day of my weeks end. If the weather is lousy, I do a powerwalk dvd in my living room.
You don't have to be cardiocrazy, just be logical. What makes you feel good? I know one person that loved to skip and did that for increasing periods of time. It doesn't have to be what anyone else does. If it feels good, do it.