Making the First Step

geonbaeLeilee

This is my first time blogging on here since joining a day ago, and I'm actually afraid to do so. I guess there's a first time for everything, so I hope it all works out well.

So, I'm 26, a college humanities course instructor, and really unhappy because I let myself go. In college, I noticed my weight creeping up, and I exercised here-and-there. Carrying a full load of classes and working didn't help, neither was being an English major since I spent a large chunk of time studying. Each job I had from the time I was in school until now required/requires many hours of sitting in-front of the computer, so here I am: Way overweight and repulsed every time I look in the mirror.

For awhile, as mentioned, I would exercise here-and-there, but I couldn't get into a groove. Then a mean neighbor started to send weight-loss magazines and books to my house, so losing weight stopped becoming a priority because then I would feel like this person was winning in her bullying game. I didn't want that, so I felt I was proving a point.

Boy, was I wrong.

I felt terrible.

So now, here I am.

I'm tired of being a size 18, and I want to look in the mirror and feel like someone who doesn't have to hide. I'm tired of having low self-esteem. I want to not be afraid of stepping outside and feeling ugly. I'm just afraid that I'll lose the will to keep trying, especially when others are succeeding and I'm stuck in neutral with my weight loss goals. That sounds petty, I know, but after a couple bouts of depression, hopelessness just comes easily. I'm trying to remain upbeat, so I hope I can change my attitude, too, as I work toward fixing my weight.

Currently, my plan is to dance. I really love Zumba, Just Dance (which I played tonight), Wii Country Dance, and Wii Fit, although the latter just makes me feel like a loser because it tells me I'm "obese." I never once associated that word with myself. v_v Tonight, I danced my heart out and felt more energetic than ever. For once, I felt like I could do this! Maybe I can. Someday, I hope to get back to running, but I need to get my knee fixed first, but I love the feeling of running. But, we'll start with dance before my feet hit the pavement.

Over the past few weeks, long before I started keeping track here, I began changing my eating habits: Eating less crap; eating smaller portions; not eating after 10pm. Unfortunately, there's no change yet. One thing I noticed since I started logging is that cheese is my downfall. >.< I love cheese; I live on cheese. I always make it a point to have cheese stocked since it's a quick snack and it keeps me from eating junk food. So I have a conundrum: Do I eliminate my cheese, or can I get by without? I reduced my one, one-inch by two inch size by half. Oh, and coffee is an issue, too. I managed to cut out the sugar in my coffee, but I can't cut it out since it actually prevents my migraines. *Le sigh* So food is going to be an issue...


Let's keep on keepin' on!

moimagana

I know how you feel and it is not a good feeling. From high school I slowly started gaining weight little by little. I would try to work out but never stuck with it. One day in January of this year I was sitting on the couch and turned to the right and there was a mirror there and I felt so low and so gross when I could not see my chin anymore lol. That's when I decided enough was enough and I was going to do it.

I always kept snacks*in form of junk food* and soda and all kinds of processed foods and giving all that up was TOUGH! The majority of this process from my experience is that it is all in what you eat. I had to throw everything in my fridge and cabinets away and start over. At first I felt like no matter what I did I could not loose a single pound. Then suddenly I started seeing a difference and that motivated me like no other.

You will have to give up A LOT of your favorite foods and you have to be mentally prepared for that. If you go out with people to eat don''t be afraid to eat healthy even if they don't. Also don't be afraid to tell people about your goals. Feel free to add me and message me any time if you need to chat I can also share lots of food tips. =] You can do it!

Geekyfatgirl

it's always hard to dedicate yourself to that first step, because, if you're not used to working out or changing eating habits, it's so easy to just give up and fall back, into your safety cushion. I asked my mom the other day "If you and my aunt were so slim before.... how did you gain it all back? Didn't you see yourself getting heavier and heavier and not want that?" And what she said, seemed to click and make sense about why people 'let' themselves gain weight. Her reply: "we got comfortable. We had our respected partners who did not care if we gained weight, for they loved us the same, and never told us that we looked fat, so we just, kept eating whatever we wanted, and didn't care if we were any bigger." That makes so much sense!

See, December I weighed the most I've EVER seen me weigh...ever! 239! I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, he didn't care how I looked, hell, he's overweight as well, and so, I didn't really care. Plus, whenever I did try to diet, the 'girls' were the first thing to shrink, instead of, the fat everywhere else! No matter how many push ups or chest exercises I did. So that was a bad noooo for me! But when I think about it, as far back as I can really remember, I was always chunky, at least... after 6 years old I was. before 6, I've seen pictures of me, where I was healthier, playing soft ball and T ball, and I looked like a normal kid. So, I never really got the chance to know what it was like to be slimmer.

But I believe in you! I know you can do this! I feel if you treat this like a job or something in school, you'd might be able to stick to it a bit better. You said a lot of work you've done, you had to study, and work a lot, long hours in front of a computer, so you put losing weight on the back burner. But, what if you made this something like a job that you love? Study all you can, learn all you can about what to eat, what not to eat. The app for this is really helpful in trying to lower calorie intake, and burn off more than what you're consuming, but you need more! Avoid sugars and processed foods! Get yourself into more clubs and talk to other people! Being social about weight loss is a really good way to expand what you know, and have others to help motivate you! Though, I will be right next to you rooting you on! ^_^ I've been logging food and what I eat pretty religiously ever since I got the app, make that your homework, and your final will be the date where you know you want to reach your goal! Make every end of the month, or so, your report card. Don't do every week because, it's so easy to fluctuate during the weeks that it may discourage you. (I do weekly, but that's because I want to see how much harder I have to work, even though that may not work for everyone. XD) If you want to do weekly, as a progress report, that's fine too, but what you lose at the end of the month, should have you ready to start the next month with more goals!

Make a video once a week! do a blog as well, videos are good because then, you can go back and PHYSICALLY see your progress! If you want to be even more bold, post them up on Youtube, you'll be surprised that a lot of people in the community want to try and lose weight too, and will be right there rooting for you. It's your journey to try and get healthy, you should let it be known and be proud!!! ^^ I know, some places online are filled with the venom of mean spirited people who want to hurt others, so maybe for now, you can just keep it here, where everyone's goal is the same! Get fit and stay in shape! ^_^

Also, when you reach your goal for the month do something to celebrate it! buy yourself something, get your hair done, nails, something that will make you feel as good on the outside as you do on the inside. Maybe buy yourself a certain set of clothes you like! Which reminds me! I think you do, if I remember, but have a goal 'dress/outfit' where you can't fit in now, but want to fit in later! I think you do if I remember correctly.

But yeah, if you take away anything from this LOOOONG post, try to make working out and staying fit a habit, a stress reliever, a best friend to turn to, and a job that you love and want to get to the top! Because you'll find it easier, once you get to your goal, you can actually, keep to it! ^-^