advice from private people on weight loss

KristiBell1

I am a very private person and don't really like discussing my weight loss. My husband is proud of my accomplishments so far and told his parents that I was losing weight. Now every single time I see them my mother in law brings it up, or send me messages on facebook. She is not rude but the exact opposite overly nice about it. It is starting to get on my nerves. She always tells me that I am an inspiration to her and that she wishes she could lose weight too. My mother in law is barely 5 feet tall and around 100lbs. I don't know why it rubs me the wrong way but it does. I just wish thing would go back to the way they were before she found out I wanted to lose weight.

This is a little bit more that her complimenting me on my progress. I don't mind people mentioning that they can see a difference but is really bugging me that this is somehow becoming the main focus of our time together every single time I see or talk to her.

Any advice on how to politely tell her that I don't wish to discuss my weight loss.

Maridar

You could say "I really appreciate your compliments, they motivate me too, but if you don't mind, I don't want our conversations to focus on my weightloss. And you are in a great shape too, I hope I am in shape like that when I am your age:)"
OR ask her husband as is he much closer to his mom, he probably knows your shy and very private personality, maybe he can deliver the message politelty.

slashkiss

LOL - I was reading this thinking "Did I make up a new name and post this without remember?"

I have the EXACT SAME problem with my mother-in-law! She is super sexy for her age and continuesly bring ups my weight loss around everyone at family gatherings. She will pull people over and be like "Doesn't Courtney look great? She has lost so much weight and I am so inspired." This rubs me the wrong way because for years prior to me deciding to lose the weight she would talk behind my back to my husband about how I had gained weight and she was "worried" about my health. She has now hired a personal trainer and is trying to lose weight just like me! She also feels the need to critic everything I am putting in my mouth and makes comments like "What a waste of calories!" or "Do you know how bad that is for you?"

Can I divorce just her?!

KristiBell1

Thanks so much, Maridar! I am meeting them for a picnic tonight so I will try you suggestion.

Slashkiss, I am so glad I am not alone with the MIL issue. The only difference is mine is ALWAYS over polite and will never said a bad thing about anyone. It kind of feels fake so it is sort of meaningless to me. I have been married for 7 years and she still sends a thank you card every time we invite them over, even for a casual bbq. Enough with the over politeness we are family. I guess I shouldn't complain because she really is a great MIL. Congrats on your weight loss!

mcarter99

It's a tough situation. If they don't ever comment, sometimes people feel like "Oh no! No one notices!" If they do, people can feel appraised.

I totally understand. My mother used to do this thing where whenever she sees one of her daughters or granddaughters where she gives them the once-over and if there's been a weight change, she'll comment. And you do feel like a prize sow at the fair sometimes. She even once told my 20-something niece, "I see you've decided to put on some weight!" I openly scolded her. She doesn't do it anymore.

Maybe tell your MIL, "I love that you notice my improved appearance but I feel like part of the message is 'you DIDN'T look good before', so if we could just leave appearance comments unsaid from now on, I'd like that."