Changing Name?

Eve23

I think she has a perfectly good idea and that is how I would handle it if I were in the same boat. I worked with a lawyer who did something very similiar.

EveryoneElseIsTaken

I would take his last name, but I would include mine too.You know? I would have it like, My last name-His last name. I'm including my name in respect for my parents. I think that she should change her last name, but include her name in it too. But reading your last post, I find it understandable that she wouldn't want to change her last name professionally. As long as she takes it privately, I think that's a sign of love right there.

DollyMiel

What's with the sentiments of: "If she really loved him she would take his name!" Wth.

So because a man traditionally doesn't take his wife's name, it means he doesn't really love her? I don't even

AshleysAwesomeness

I'm a social worker and if I got married I would keep my last name professionally and take his privately.... Too much confusion with clients and all my professional connections to change my last name professionally, plus it allows me to maintain some sense of personal privacy with clients (since I don't exactly live in a large city). Just my thoughts.

Darkskinned88

i'm traditional so unless your name is part of your brand or practice i want you to have mine, my mother took my fathers, my grandmother took my grandfathers and my great grandmother took my great grandfathers

mrs_schultz2012

i'm getting married in 2 months, and I am taking his last name....privately and professionally

BeckaT79

Call me old fashioned but I took my husbands last name. It forms a unity and I think that is why we got married in the first place, to be united. Best Wishes to your friend.

oh_em_gee

I'm changing mine. it's my mom's maiden name and I never knew my grandpa, so I'm happy to trade the name of someone I've never met to the name of the love of my life. Besides, his last name is cooler :P

cestlafete

My boss and his wife both work at my place of employ, but don't share last names. I didn't realize that they were married until I figured out that they were telling stories and anecdotes about the same child, haha! When I mentioned it, they told me that because she had been in her career for much longer than they had been married, and that she had scores of professional credits and contacts, it wasn't in her best interest to change it and lose that ground.

I have to say that when you go into a career where your individuality is important against all the people in your field, losing years of that hard work is something I would not expect many to be keen on doing. I don't find it to be offensive in the least, and I know that it can lead to problems down the road.

As a secondary input, my mother changed her name when she married my father and when they broke up (after I was born) a year and a half later, she kept the name so that we would share it. This lead to awkward problems when she had my half-brother and the father was uninterested in being a part of his life, including giving him his last name. My father (and his Italian mother) thought it was highly offensive that this new kid now shared my father's name, when in fact he was entirely unrelated. At that point, my mother didn't want half the family to have different names, though it didn't bother me, and after she and my brother talked it over (when he was old enough), they decided it wasn't worth it to change. My father's family is still very bitter about it though. My mother has started going by her maiden name again in some aspects though she never got it legally reverted. My brother and I still share a last name.

mfp_junkie

Several ladies in my office (the head office of a very large bank) have kept their last names for work, and use their husband's name outside of work. I don't think they have any issues with confusing anyone. Work and home are separate entities, and they manage to keep both that way.

rumpusparable

I think it's an outdated tradition of sexism and female-as-property. That's the entire basis of it, that the female was legally becoming the property of a new male (he had control of all money, she couldn't own property only he could, he could beat her and rape her legally if he wanted, etc).

I see no good reason why a female should be forced to endorse this concept. If he wants to share a last name, why not take hers or better yet they both change their last names to something they mutually decide on.

mandiemma

It would be very interesting if I ever changed my name to my current SO's... he has a very unique last name "Goodrunning". I would find it funny to have his last name - also awkward is that his sister (who has the same first and middle name as I) would have the exact same name because she did not change her name when she got married.

For me it would be safer and saner to keep my maiden name lol

AReasor

In my first marriage I didn't change my last name. It didn't bother him in the least.

I knew when I married my 2nd husband(my best friend of 20 years) that my taking his name was important to him. He never once asked me to, which is what made it so special.

tdtl07

I got married and took my husband's name. I didn't mind because I wanted to do it! The only bad thing about my situation is my married name is also the name of my city. I always get people telling me did you know you have the same name as your city? Like duh! I thought my name was hey girl! lol.

bluegrasschica

when l get married l will take my husbands last name. :bigsmile:

MFPBrandy

I've worked years to build a good reputation -- and a lot in my career hinges on name recognition. I would most likely keep my name professionally.
Personally, until my much-younger half-brother was born, I was the last person in my family line that actually carried the name. No way was I going to end the name through marriage. Now that there's one more, I might be willing to change it, but it wouldn't be an easy decision.

Pimpmonkey

My only prob with taking my old man's last name is that then I will have the same name as his sister!

rhonniema

I'm keeping my name.

kat5556

I made my maiden name my middle name (yes, you can do that) and then took my husband's last name. I use his (now our's) for legal documents and can use only my first and middle it's situations where I'm known by my maiden name.

vytamindi

I am keeping my name. Pretty much case closed. My boyfriend agrees. I have a pretty ethnic name and his last name is Ford, which makes my name not as....me. I'm 30 and won't get married for a few more years. But the biggest reason is that I started my own business and therefore changing my professional name just isn't worth it so we can share last names. Perhaps it's different for me because neither of us want children, although my cousin married and Argentine and that's just how the do it down there. If he wanted to take my name, I'd be all for it, but I don't see why I'm the one who has to give up her name - even if that is the social convention here.

Whoa. We're very similar! My biggest reason is that I just don't care enough for any paperwork and to have my 600 students call me something else.