how do i politely tell my roommate she's a slob?

jackieatx
jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay, I live in a townhouse with my husband, eight month old, and our roommate. She's a great girl, and I love her to death... but she is such a slob. I already have so much cleaning to do with an eight month old, and I wasn't the cleanest person myself so I put extra effort into it. She hoards dishes and silverware in her room, leaves food out on the counter so now we get ants, when she does bring dishes down she puts them in the sink with food on them (barf, pet peeve) and I am always the one cleaning this crap up. I am almost not able to keep up with it, and that kind of screws me, because I refuse to cook in a kitchen that isn't clean, and when that happens I order out. The problem with this situation is she lived the before and we moved into a mess. I have already cleaned this entire place out and it gets crazy messy again in 48 hours. My husband is also part of the problem, he leaves take out bags and wrappers and beer cans out at night (he works the 4-12 shift often) and I wake up in the morning and it looks like a gang of 19 year old boys took over my living room for the night. I've suggested we repaint the place and redecorate, do you think that will help them to stop being slobs and making my life miserable?

Replies

  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
    I have had ton's of roomates while I was in the Army and being nice about them being slobs has never worked. Always had to be firm or even aggresive to get them to stop it.
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    It's very disrespectful that they leave it all to you, especially with an 8 month old. If you haven't tried talking to them, have a major freakout and maybe they will stand up and notice. Seriously.
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
    I would suggest a household meeting, where you explain how you feel that the division of housework/cleaning up is not balanced, and that you need them both to contribute more than what they have been.
    You're not singling anyone out, you're calling them both out - and if you do it in a constructive manner, and say positive things like "hey, if we all pitch in, we'll have more time to spend with each other"
    If it comes to this, maybe a dedicated chores list - I know it seems frathouse-like, but it may help you get some balance back in the home :)

    Best of luck hun, these topics are never easy to bring up...
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I created a "fun housecleaning game". Put each room on a card, along with a list of what needs to be done on each card. Each of you draws the same number of cards every Sunday and do what's on the card. Set a bottle of wine or a treat on the table to share when you are all done your cards.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    just be assertive plain and simple....or make a schedule when you are cleaning...she may see this and want to get in on the action. if she is a dish hoard, then ask her to bring them back when she is done....too many times was i throwing out good plates when people i lived with left them hidden and i was finding mold on them.....gross.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    put poop in a box and leave it under her bed.
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
    put poop in a box and leave it under her bed.

    I don't hate her I just want her to clean up after herself, and plus she probably wouldn't realize it because my *kitten* doesn't stink. These are really great ideas, sans sh*tting in a box, thanks guys!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    I hate to say it but the reason they're probably slobs is because you clean up after them and they know this. Your roommate knows that if she brings down her nasty dishes and leaves them you'll wash them. She knows that you'll clean up the food she leaves out and the same with your husband. While I totally get you not wanting to cook food in a dirty kitchen (I mean EEEW. Who would?) you need to stop cleaning up after everyone. I know it's hard. TRUST me I know it's hard! My husband is a messy marvin and I (was) a neat(er) freak (than I am now) and sometimes if he leaves something out -- glass, plate, etc -- I'll just leave it until it adds up and he does something about it.

    I know it's gross but it *might* make your point.

    While I also agree with sitting down and discussing it with her this will probably work for a day or two before she goes back to her old ways.

    sorry if my ideas were negative help. :/
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 811 Member
    You need to have a family meeting and talk about it. You can't suggest painting the house and have them read your mind that they are messy. Communication is key!
  • katevicks
    katevicks Posts: 5 Member
    my housemates were the same.. I'm 25, was living with a 44 year old woman and 36 year old guy and they were fricken SLOBS! i used to just leave it for ages but then i got over waiting and asked nicely a few times, and then told them harshly that they are gross.... then still when nothing changed i wrote on their face book wall and they started doing stuff!!!

    Poop in a box would be my second choice! :P
  • UhOhItsKylie
    UhOhItsKylie Posts: 92 Member
    Hey pretty. :)

    I would do exactly what the title of your post says - politely tell her that she's a slob. Well, maybe you don't need to use the word "slob", but just being open and honest about how you feel will be the only way you'll see a change. Sparing her feelings and tiptoe-ing around the issue will just leave you even more frustrated when she inevitably won't get the hint.

    Assigning chores is what works for my husband and I. Honestly, he can be a total pig and very rarely cleans on his own. But if I ask him to do specific things each week, he will do them. It could work for all three of you. My husband doesn't like unloading the dishwasher, but I don't mind it so that's one of mine. I hate scooping the litter boxes, but he doesn't care, so he does it. And so on and so forth. That way everyone is accountable for their own list of things, the work is done equally, and the house stays clean. Yay! ;)
  • gogospice
    gogospice Posts: 185 Member
    Oh I can relate to this! My roommates are slobs too! I feel like a freaking nag on a regular basis. I clean before I leave for the weekend and come home to a DISASTER! One night I was so pissed off that I posted a sign on the kitchen cupboards.

    "Dear Russell,
    I'm feeling very dirty! I wish you would do me!
    Love,
    Dishes & Counters

    Needless to say it was cleaned up when I woke up. Only lasted one day though!
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Hey pretty. :)

    I would do exactly what the title of your post says - politely tell her that she's a slob. Well, maybe you don't need to use the word "slob", but just being open and honest about how you feel will be the only way you'll see a change. Sparing her feelings and tiptoe-ing around the issue will just leave you even more frustrated when she inevitably won't get the hint.

    Assigning chores is what works for my husband and I. Honestly, he can be a total pig and very rarely cleans on his own. But if I ask him to do specific things each week, he will do them. It could work for all three of you. My husband doesn't like unloading the dishwasher, but I don't mind it so that's one of mine. I hate scooping the litter boxes, but he doesn't care, so he does it. And so on and so forth. That way everyone is accountable for their own list of things, the work is done equally, and the house stays clean. Yay! ;)

    This is how me and my husband work. He WILL NOT clean on his own unless his day was easy at work and he has nothing going on. But if I ask him, no problem! It gets done. I cook, he cleans the bathroom/trash and we do our own laundry & share in doing dishes. Easy peasy.
  • IamSheaMc
    IamSheaMc Posts: 1,273 Member
    I think it's time for a house meeting lol
  • 33neenaj
    33neenaj Posts: 306
    Just tell her to pick up behind herself.
  • kaylurzz
    kaylurzz Posts: 121 Member
    This is what I've done with my college roommates:
    -suggest cleaning schedules
    -suggest cleaning together (Like "I'll wash the dishes if you dry them" type thing)

    Or just say she needs to pull her weight and help clean some.
  • DaniKenmir
    DaniKenmir Posts: 387 Member
    Well for one slap your husband and make sure he knows you need help! secondly why not as kyour room mate to help you with things? It can be very confrontational to say 'you're a pig sort it out' so next time just say hey, im running behind, can you help me with the kitchen please?
  • scorchy808
    scorchy808 Posts: 26
    You could work around the mess and leave it, I've done that, but it's not in the best interest of the 8 mo. old. so I'd have a pow wow and emphasize it isn't good for the baby and ask nicely for a little consideration. If that doesn't yield results, put the dirty dishes in her bed, maybe she will get the message.
  • QueenGorgo
    QueenGorgo Posts: 75 Member
    put poop in a box and leave it under her bed.

    Sooo...what kind of poop? And from where would one get it?
  • ravenknighte
    ravenknighte Posts: 3
    The problem with this situation is she lived the before and we moved into a mess. I have already cleaned this entire place out and it gets crazy messy again in 48 hours.

    So you knew what you were getting into when you moved in there, and you did it anyway? I know it's easier said than done, but maybe find a place for yourself and your family without a room-mate. Then the only messes you will be cleaning up will be your famiy's mess - much easier to deal with than having to find "polite" ways to tell a room-mate to clean up their act.

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