Mind Not Believing the Change in Physical Appearance

tonyaf78

I still avoid looking in mirror when I am naked because I am scared I will still see the 190 lbs me. A lot of times this summer I have felt like I shouldn't be wearing the shorts and dresses I have been because of thoughts that I look too big. I know I have lost weight and look better- all you wonderful MFP ppl tell me so, but it's still hard to wrap my head around it. I've been on the bigger side for 28 years of my life, this is a huge adjustment.

SPNLuver- you have made an astonishing transformation!! I saw your pix and you have a body that most would love to have!! I saw your pix and thought of a body builder! I would love to have the definition you have!! and actually, I am striving to have the muscle tone you do! GIRL YOU ROCK!

tonyaf78

When I was heavier, I always felt there was a skinny girl screaming to get out...Now that I have lost 60lbs, there are several days when I feel as fat if not fatter than I was 60lbs ago... I still have a lot to lose, but hopefully my mentality will change...

Kalraii

Speaking from the perspective of a friend that has the same issue, the same friend who in the past has had to deal with unhealthy weight loss through bulimia and anorexia due to her body dysmorphic disorder I have found it somewhat heartbreaking for her to think so lowly of her body image because she is so beautiful and she is my real life inspiration for getting in shape. This last year she has been a great success going from 14st down to 11st in a healthy manner and looks great! Thing is she still thinks shes that same "ugly fat child" as she calls herself when referring to her past. It's hard because some people call her "attention seeking" or "fishing for compliments" when it's not the case. Some people are just resentful and know nothing. She gets so wound up about her body image and what she is eating that no matter what anyone else says she still sees something different. The other day she pointed to an overweight girl and said she felt she looked the same in a condescending tone, not to the girl, but to herself. Then I pointed out I was the same build and probably the same weight but she doesn't see me like that at all. It's all so very strange. I am always there for her and it keeps me in perspective when I look at myself. We are always more beautiful than we give ourselves credit for.

All you ladies (and men :P) are an inspiration and should remember that people like ME look up to YOU for motivation Wobbly bits and all we are all human and worth more than our negative shoulder sitting devils make us think

eig6

I have the occasional "skinny" day where I see myself as I probably should, but usually I still see all the flaws. Putting the pics side by side has helped some. Having a husband who rearrirms that I've lost a ton helps, too. Retail therapy in clothes 3-5 sizes smaller definitely helps, but then I fall back to the bad days. I wish there was some magic cure to get past them. *sigh

I completely agree, retail therapy definitely helps, I always feel better when I go shopping and see that I need to wear sizes smaller than I think. I hope one day I wont have this problem anymore too, most of the time I just try not to think about it. Its really hard when my boyfriend tells me he thinks Im beautiful and that I look small all the time and I have to hold back from screaming WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! I feel bad sometimes that I can't just take the compliment :frown: .

mscrumbyy

I've never really been the sort of person who looks in the mirror and only sees my flaws, I've always been able to appreciate what I have and I think I'm fairly lucky in that sense. But although the scales and my measuring tape have been showing the difference, when I look I still don't see it. Someone took a picture of me tonight thought and I was kind of taken aback by the difference. I usually really hate photos :laugh:

budru21

Yep. I still feel like the skinny little boy I used to be. I honestly have to remind myself on a daily basis that I've physically changed.

^^The affirmations above help a lot.

Agree...all about affirmations. I had to "convince" myself that I was actually a size 1 with 9% bodyfat when I was on stage my first time. I still, literally, see a size 12 with 25% bf. It is a mental game!!

jyuubi

I look in the mirror and think I see changes, but then my mind just says it's not true. Of course, nearly 20lbs can make a big difference in anyone, and since I'm of a larger size, it should be easier to see. So I'm not forcing my eyes to see it in the mirror, but letting my clothes show me instead, which are now fitting loser, and I can fit in pants two sizes smaller than what I wear. That's a change that's hard not to see.

vallemic

I know what you mean. I went from a size 12 to a size 4 (lost 40 lbs in 8 months) and even though I KNOW I look a lot different, it's like it just won't sink in! My sister tagged me in a photo on Facebook the other day in which I was wearing a string bikini. Had I seen this 10 months ago, I'm sure I would have LOVED this photo. But when I saw it, I automatically looked at my thighs and thought "got lots of work to do there!".

shorty35565

I'm 5'5. I've went from 185lbs down to 130.4lbs and I still feel fat as all get out I can't see the new me in the mirror. Mayb it's cuz I still am fat. I mean, I'm smaller than b4, but I can't see really being small. Mayb it's my huge belly. I can't even talk so welll ab myself here lol So yeah

blonde71

Sometimes the only way I can actually process the change is by looking back at the progress photos I've taken along the way. Being told by family and friends that I look good is one thing but seeing the actual transformation captured on my digital camera makes it real for me, you know?

likearadiowave

I've been trying to lead a healthy lifestyle for about 5 years now but really kicked it into high gear at the end of last summer. I wasn't overweight per se but very frumpy and out-of-shape. Years of inactivity and a bad diet, left me very soft-looking.

Anwyay, I've made some good progress and I'm happy that I'm in a healthier place. The problem is that in my mind, I'm still very much that frumpy, out-of-shape woman, especially when I look in the mirror. I've taken progress photos along the way so intellectually I realize that I've changed for the better.

Has anyone else experienced this where you can't wrap your mind around the physical change in your appearance? How long does it take for your mind to realize that the person in the mirror really is you? Just wondering.

Congrats!

Also, this has to do with body image. Once you are pleased with yourself and accept the changes you have made, your mind should catch up to your body, however, this is different for everyone.

MireyGal76

I often feel like I'm fat. I find myself taking a lot of pictures and looking at them to remind myself that I'm not.

Not sure when or if that will ever change, but one step at a time, right? :-D

You look awesome!!! Congrats on your new healthy lifestyle!!

kris4chloe

Some days are better then others

I went from a size 22/24 to an 8/10 in that last year and a half and I get crazy compliments.

Some days I look in the mirror and I am very happy and others not so much..

I am trying to work on it, but it is hard. I spent 17 years being very overweight and very unhappy with myself

Before that as a teenager I was thin but never thought I was good enough, was always comparing myself to others, then decided to stop and that is when I gained the weight. Now that I am thinner I am catching myself doing it again. I am trying to break this cycle. I have an almost 11 year old daughter who is staring middle school in the fall and I am trying really hard to make sure she doesn't learn any of these crazy behaviours. I never talk about weight or fat or body image but we do discuss why certain foods are healthier for you and my entire family eats pretty good now. We try to stay active as a family.

The biggest obstacle for me though is there are so many reminders of my bigger self. Loose skin on my stomach and thighs, so although I look good in clothes, I am no where near being able to feel comfortable in a swimsuit. I have a goal though to work on that and am not giving up.

Shelgirl001

The mind is a very powerful tool which we can use to our own purpose. As was said in an earlier post, we just have to keep telling ourselves that we really are beautiful. Looking to others for affirmation will not always be a positive experience. Remember, everyone is fighting their own issues. Some are more real than others.

It will take time for personal mental healing to happen. Even more than the physical if we aren't willing to work on it. Everyone has been working so hard on this personal physical transformation, now it's time to work on the mental one. Take a good look at yourself and tell yourself at least one good thing that you see. Every day.

I realized that my back is gaining a lot of great muscle tone now, as is my butt. It is really great to know that things are working as we want them to. Now it's time to accept it and keep it going.

islandnutshel

Yup, I just bought a new Tshirt, brought it home and I am swimming in it.
Last time I lost this 30 pounds I had to take my husband shopping because he said I was buying things too big for me. It was real amusing how he got the girls in the shop to help him pick out cloths for me. And in truth I would have just bought cover-up cloths that don't show my shape, so I am glad he came.

blonde71

Yup, I just bought a new Tshirt, brought it home and I am swimming in it.
Last time I lost this 30 pounds I had to take my husband shopping because he said I was buying things too big for me. It was real amusing how he got the girls in the shop to help him pick out cloths for me. And in truth I would have just bought cover-up cloths that don't show my shape, so I am glad he came.

LOL. This is so me. I had to bring my hubby shopping too because he insisted that I wasn't buying the right size. He was actually very helpful, the ladies that worked in the store were very impressed with his input.

zonah

I have this problem in reverse I look at pic of myself as a young woman and I was smoking, but felt horriblely insecure and fat. Now Iam fat and have this image that I'm not fat. Either way I think it's important to beable to see oneself in a realistic light. The mind plays amazing tricks on us.

DestroyTheOpposition

I am the same way. I see pictures.... there is a difference. Then I look in the mirror... I don't really see it. I had the same prob in high school. People are always telling me how slim I look. (I don't think so) I'm not going to stop pushing till my body tells me too. Its tough! I think part of MY issue may be that my sisters always called me fat and chubby when I was growing up. I dunno. I just keep pushing. I just realized... my comment probably ain't helping much. hah!

reneecgc

I am having that issue, but I don't look as great as you.

lexishea

Oh my gosh...I TOTALLY struggle with this. :sad: I've lost 69 lbs, and still can't stand the way I look. My family and I went on the Cascade Head hike yesterday, all the way to the top. I felt so amazing that I had made it TO the top, I had my son take a pic of me with the "summit pole"...when I saw the picture, I wanted to cry. I was horrified. Couldn't believe I looked the same as I did in January (to myself, at least.) Heartbreaking.

Garnet2727

As I said just recently on another board, when I look in the mirror, I see the weight I need to lose, not the weight I've already lost. I still see myself as weighing close to 300 pounds.

cjeanthiele

Body image takes a while to change... one of the reasons it took me so long to get at all serious about losing weight was that I had trouble wrapping my mind around how things had changed ( I was skinny, once, and the weight accumulated slowly). On the other hand, even when I could eat everything in sight and gain nothing, I had issues with my thighs. Most women I know tend to be very critical of their bodies. Affirmations can help; so can looking at those current pictures. And listen to any and all compliments you get, in my experience they are more likely to be honest than some criticisms are.

Keep working on it, you'll get there

sukaera

If you are like me, you've spent the majority (or all) of your life looking in the mirror and hating what you saw. I did. I can remember thinking I had fat thighs....when I was 5. Awesome.

A speaker I heard (H. Walker) said we teach others how to treat us. The same is true of ourself: I taught me how to think about me. And I taught me to hate, belittle, despise, nitpick, tear down. I started this journey unable to see anything valuable or attractive about myeslf.

About 2 years ago, I started saying "I am beautiful. I am powerful." I said it to myself, in front of the mirror. Feeling stupid. Whispering it if I thought my partner or my daughter might hear me. Now I say it with confidence.

It's a small step, those affirmations, but it has instilled a massive change for me.

Now I have other affirmations:
"I am fast. I am strong." (because I run)
"I am a warrior. I have overcome. I am victorious." (because sometimes life sucks)

Lately, I've been working on accepting body parts. I have a HUGE rump. Now I stand in front of the mirror and say "Look at that *kitten*! B!tches pay money to get an *kitten* like this." (not all affirmations have to be classy, ya'll)

I hope you find your peace about the new body you've worked so hard to achieve.

^^ This, so so so much I agree with. I've been there, for sure, I was probably the most negative person around these parts! However, I've learned that we talk to ourselves is SO important to how we live our lives! I've changed my mindset and self talk drastically from about 3 years ago, just by speaking positively, kindly, friendly, and honestly with myself! It's not easy, definitely not easy, but when you practice a little bit every day (just like physical exercise!) your confidence gets stronger and you begin to believe yourself and have your positivity reflected BACK to you from OTHER PEOPLE TOO! It's amazing!

You literally get from the Universe what you give the Universe. :-)