Anyone else have this crushing realisation?

bexxgirl

So you've lost some weight, you get dressed up to go out for a dress-up party. You think you look pretty okay! Certainly better than you would have before you started on here. You have a grand old time, feeling the confidence that is back again for the first time in a long time.

Then...

Someone starts posting their photos from the event and you realise...

Same sad old heifer.

Humiliating.

How do I stop this from making me feel like it's all a waste of time and like my confidence will be misplaced forever?

aquamarine36

I have the exact same problem! Part of the issue is that I am extremely hard on myself, and can never seem to give myself a break. I am much better than I think I am, and so are you! Be kind to yourself.

escadachic

Try and focus on what you have lost and that you are still sticking to it.

As so many people just lose a certain amount of weight and then just give up. Putting it in the to hard basket.

Be proud of the weight you have lost and kept off and remember, though this fact sux, it takes longer to lose the weight, then it did to gain it. And the fact you have made this commitment, that is worthy of applause and pride.

I find, you lose some weight, feel great for a bit and then start fault finding. I still do that myself. I have to keep reminding myself how far I have come and that I have not given up completely like every other time in the past.

I think you look great anyway Bex! :flowerforyou:

2_young_2B_old

Not that this will be you, but before I could get sirious about losing weight I had to resign myself to the fact that even if I made it to my goal weight not only would I never look as good as someone who has been that weight forever, I will never even look normal. Once I decided that was ok I made this about something other than how I would look in the end. Now I don't feel defeated before even starting.

taso42

Imagine what the pictures will look like when you've reached your goal body.. Keep on going.

JMPerlin

This is a journey, and one that will take some time. You need to stay focus on the goal and not the amount of steps you are taking toward it. Stay focused and strong you can do it.

Katahna

Use it as fuel!

You have a goal for a good reason, but hey, it can still be a progress shot for later =]

Amy911Gray

Take that picture and sit it next to a picture of before you started on your quest. Maybe others won't see what you see, but I'll just bet that you will see a more confident thinner version of you!!!

At the halfway mark, I did that. My husband wanted to know who the girl was in the pink sweater...duh!

Bobby_Clerici

Photos are not always flattering, but progress is progress.
Just set your goals high for peak fitness and let the photo ops take care of themselves.
Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20% - that should be your goal.
Your weight should be in your BMI range.
That's what peak health reflects,
Don't let the picture thing get you down.

ctooch99

It's just a difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us. I see myself in photos and still, my first thought is: yuck, FAT BOY. But when people see me who have not seen me in a long time, they are amazed at the shape I am now in and tell me so.

So I just chalk it up to my mind and my eyes being used to seeing the same old fat dude in the mirror, but I think to the rest of the world I do look different now. And even if I don't, I know I am healthier, more athletic and feel 1000 percent better!

Faye_Anderson

Hate to break it to you but 66lb later it's still happening to me. It's all about self confidence, we see what we want to see x

NWCountryGal

I wanted to go out last night and just feel good about me and I didn't go because I have stopped feeling attractive. It is coming back but it is going to take awhile, for me at least. And I know for sure my total confidence cannot be based on "how I look" or how I "think I look". It's really an inside job. It's about liking myself or better than that, loving myself(not conceited or stuck on myself, just treat me like I treat a close friend or my sister. I don't know why we humans can be so hard on ourselves, why we aren't truly our own best friend.

I think the more we cherish ourselves and care for ourselves the more attractive we are to people. The right kind of people. There are always those out there that are so shallow they only stand near you or talk to you if you are rich and look good to them. True beauty and the beauty the "world" tends to push is not beauty at all. It's a big lie in my opinion,

denise
PS I'm betting you looked beautiful but you are the one that needs to realize that;)

So you've lost some weight, you get dressed up to go out for a dress-up party. You think you look pretty okay! Certainly better than you would have before you started on here. You have a grand old time, feeling the confidence that is back again for the first time in a long time.

Then...

Someone starts posting their photos from the event and you realise...

Same sad old heifer.

Humiliating.

How do I stop this from making me feel like it's all a waste of time and like my confidence will be misplaced forever?

fatty_to_fitty

It's a self love issue. Some people already love themselves at 200lb some people don't love themselves at 120 and if you don't love yourself you want love what you see.

I just looked at your pics and you are looking great so it's all in your head.

I lost a lot of weight when I was younger and when I hit goal I cried one day because I thought no matter how thin I get I'll always look like me and be ugly. How depressing!

Im heavier than I have ever been but I'm happier than I have ever been now.

Don't give up Hun

NWCountryGal

This is so true, thank you for it:) denise

It's a self love issue. Some people already love themselves at 200lb some people don't love themselves at 120 and if you don't love yourself you want love what you see.

I just looked at your pics and you are looking great so it's all in your head.

I lost a lot of weight when I was younger and when I hit goal I cried one day because I thought no matter how thin I get I'll always look like me and be ugly. How depressing!

Im heavier than I have ever been but I'm happier than I have ever been now.

Don't give up Hun

missym1977

Here's something you can do...go get a sack of potatos, 10 lbs. walk around with that potato sack, you will realize that yes...you have accomplished something. I totally get where you are at! You are fabulous, just keep that in mind.

bellesouth18

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Last week, I was looking at some pictures of me taken within the past year or two. I had a complete meltdown on my profile page (since deleted). The anger was aimed at myself. I was so pi***d off at myself that it was mindblowing. That made me want to work harder.

You know how far you've come and how far you have to go still. Right now, I'm looking forward to the day when I can actually stand to look at a photo of me and not cringe. I really don't know what to say to you, except keep moving toward your goals. You'll like what you see soon. That woman you are leaving behind won't be in any more of your photographs. Ever.

fiberartist219

I feel confident about the way I look in the mirror, but not so much in photos. I don't know why.

Luckily, my friends and coworkers keep telling me that I look good and they can tell I've lost a lot of weight. I haven't really lost a lot, but it was enough that I had to get some different clothes.

It is really hard to perceive my own weight loss. I think that's how people get stuck obsessing about the scale. For me to really see how far I've come, I have to judge it by my activity level. If I can lift more weight than I could a year ago, then I have done a great job. If I can go longer distances and take fewer breaks, I'm good. I can't even rely on the tape measure, because if I exhale or inhale it gives me a completely different reading. There are a lot of ways to tell if you are getting healthier, and photos are only one way.

bexxgirl

Thanks everyone - I guess it's just a reminder to keep on pushing for the ultimate goal and not let a little bit of success make me lazy!

krystlestar00

i've lost 21 lbs so far and i still feel the same as i did before the 21lbs. all i can see is that my pants are looser, and im starting to get a butt again. beside that i think i still look the same. my body fat % has gone down almost 3% in 9 weeks.i'm happy about that but it hasn't translated into a big physical change yet. my trainer even says she hardly weights herself, she goes by how her clothes fit. don't get discouraged, losing weight doesn't happen overnight, if it did then everyone would be skinny.

Macrocarpa

Map your progress visually as well as via weight / BF%

Every 2 weeks I strip down to my boxer shorts, take a photo of myself in the same front-on / side on pose, and save them in a folder on my computer.

Humiliating though it is (and it felt awful the first few times) especially when I see the same love-handles and bulges in the same stupid places, I can see the longer-term trend, and compare to my starting weight all those kilos ago.

bexxgirl

That's a great idea - I've just been stuck at a standstill for 6 months now, after great initial progress. I need that sort of visual tool to remind me that every cm is still progress in the right direction!