Well, week three and I am struggling

mariaelenaismean

**************I'd like to note, that I'm probably using some graphic and even upsetting words to some people, heck- they are all of those things to me, too. Just a heads up in case you don't want to read stuff like it. ******************





To be honest, the last week has left me hopeless and wanting to quit.
It is so hard to want to give in to temptation, it is so hard not to feel horrible about myself when I do. I've lost a few pounds, and that is wonderful, but sometimes I look at the mirror and feel, well...... disgusting and in wonderment of how anyone could love me. Yes, a self esteem issue at it's finest, but it's hard to see beautiful "thin" girls walking around when I've got this stomach that I have to carry around with me. But, losing weight isn't the only way for me to love myself. I guess I need to work on my head, too. SO, I'm deciding it is time to go back to therapy. I don't want to, but I need to. And maybe somewhere deep inside I do want help..
I want to feel as beautiful as it is every woman's right now. I want to love myself. I want to feel comfortable naked. I want to be able to be confident enough that if some kind of weird thing happened that I needed to, I could run the streets in no clothes on!

Maybe I am just silly.

I would like to begin a blog here, also, so I will repost this there. And hopefully throw things like this there instead of posting on the message boards.. I guess it's anyone's choice to read my jibber jabber, but I feel there's a little more choice for people with reading blogs, and I don't wanna be the whiny guy here.

s1lence

Support and knowledge is a lot of what the forums are about and since you need support and posting it's not whiny in my opinion.

Glad to see that you've stuck with it even when it's getting harder. Also glad that you have decided to seek help other places too. I still have times when I wonder how I could be loved by looking the way I do, but I remind myself of my; NSV's, support group (family and friends in real life and my wonderful MFP friends), and what got me motivated to begin with. Stay with it, you deserve to feel good about yourself no matter what.

Good luck.