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Chip436
Posts: 14
I have always had a horrible relationship with food, and rouble with my weight. When I was a kid, I was told to finish everything on my plate, but I would be given adult portions, and be left to sit at the table until I had finished my meal. This had caused me to gain more weight than what is healthy for a kid as well as having difficulties to not finish my plate, even if i am full.
Then a couple of years later I had developed an eating disorder, closer to anorexia, but I was never diagnosed it because I was too fat to be considered ill. I also had my father picking at my imperfections, telling me i was too spotty (I was just going through puberty), too fat, my hair wasn't right, those clothes don't look nice on you, that i had low scores in school, that i was dumb. As soon as I picked up my grades, being one of the top of my class, it was all about my image, mostly about my weight, which didn't help the problems i already had with food and my own image. He said I was too fat, I should do more exercise, if i really wanted a portion of that size, if i really wanted that as a meal, that i shouldn't be this fat for my age, that when he was my age he wasn't that fat. This went on for a few years, in which I had developed depression, and attempted suicide multiple times.
Finally, in my last year of high school, I began to properly lose weight. I exercised every day for an hour and a half, ran, cycled and walked whenever i could. I ate healthy foods, no sugar, and very little fat for a year. And I lost a lot of weight, and I was starting to feel happy with how I looked (not meaning I was 100% pleased, but i felt better about myself than I previously did).
But then I moved country, and went to a university, and I was far away from any family support. And I became very depressed again, and I started to cut myself. My eating disorder started up again, and I would eat a can of tomato soup a day and some coffee, and that would be it. My weight yoyo-ed like crazy this last year in uni. I have gained a total of 35 pounds since summer. I'm still trying to recover, i know that. But I know I will always have difficulty with food. Mainly because, I will want to lose weight again, that's why I'm here, but I know that it will be so easy for me to slide back to where I was.
Anyway, it's not that I expect any sympathy, I just have told one very important person this story, the whole story, but it is key to being successful with my weight loss. I also thought that this would be the place to get support, as although it is anonymous, it is a collection of people with the same target. So thank you all for being here.
Then a couple of years later I had developed an eating disorder, closer to anorexia, but I was never diagnosed it because I was too fat to be considered ill. I also had my father picking at my imperfections, telling me i was too spotty (I was just going through puberty), too fat, my hair wasn't right, those clothes don't look nice on you, that i had low scores in school, that i was dumb. As soon as I picked up my grades, being one of the top of my class, it was all about my image, mostly about my weight, which didn't help the problems i already had with food and my own image. He said I was too fat, I should do more exercise, if i really wanted a portion of that size, if i really wanted that as a meal, that i shouldn't be this fat for my age, that when he was my age he wasn't that fat. This went on for a few years, in which I had developed depression, and attempted suicide multiple times.
Finally, in my last year of high school, I began to properly lose weight. I exercised every day for an hour and a half, ran, cycled and walked whenever i could. I ate healthy foods, no sugar, and very little fat for a year. And I lost a lot of weight, and I was starting to feel happy with how I looked (not meaning I was 100% pleased, but i felt better about myself than I previously did).
But then I moved country, and went to a university, and I was far away from any family support. And I became very depressed again, and I started to cut myself. My eating disorder started up again, and I would eat a can of tomato soup a day and some coffee, and that would be it. My weight yoyo-ed like crazy this last year in uni. I have gained a total of 35 pounds since summer. I'm still trying to recover, i know that. But I know I will always have difficulty with food. Mainly because, I will want to lose weight again, that's why I'm here, but I know that it will be so easy for me to slide back to where I was.
Anyway, it's not that I expect any sympathy, I just have told one very important person this story, the whole story, but it is key to being successful with my weight loss. I also thought that this would be the place to get support, as although it is anonymous, it is a collection of people with the same target. So thank you all for being here.
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Replies
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Hello and welcome here. You can do anythinng you put your mind too. You will make it. I hope you have a great day and free to add me if you wish.
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Time to be confident! Make this your year. We have all had our awkward years (slaps forehead & shake head). Depression is a crazy thing. Treat yourself better. We cannot control what other people do or say. However, create an environment where people around you help you do better!0
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If I've learned one thing that's helpful, especially in relationship to weight-loss, it's this: focus on the future. Most of your post is about what's happened in the past and it's not necessarily pleasant stuff. That said, consider making an effort to learn from it, let it go, and look forward - you can do it! We all have challenges and sometimes feel like our past holds us back - but it doesn't! We do, if we chose to give the past our power. Same for others (dear old dad) - they only hold us back if we make the choice to let them.
Let go and take control - it's your life, live it how you want!0 -
Welcome!0
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I am here for positive support. step one has been accomplished by you. " Your Story" . Great story too..Because it will be someone elses story for them to realize " I am NOT alone" in the Life battle. The only immediate suggestion I would make to you. Is to find a more positive username. The word fat should be deleted.
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