Would you be hurt?

devil_in_a_blue_dress

i'd forget his birthday and x-mas presents and then, next time i wanted a vacation, i'd go on my own and leave him home with the kids.

cuts both ways.

I kind of agree with this. I wouldn't be nasty or mean, but I definitely wouldn't make too big of an effort. Also, I would probably would stop any little things you might do to make him feel appreciated. I hate to say that -- but sometimes the only way to make people have empathy when they are THAT oblivious to upset them and shake them out of their little world. And after that kind of vacation, I would pretty much be booking a weekend get away for myself at a spa or fancy hotel.

LilMissSunshine_

Yea, I would be a little crabby about it. Return the favor. Oh his bday, christmas, anniversary etc. See what he says about it then.

XXXMinnieXXX

This was the final thing that made me leave my ex. (Probably the smallest of all the things he did) he didn't even say happy birthday, nothing. The relationship was in a terrible state anyway, and even though I was ready for leaving and I did, it still hurt. Thats totally unfair to not share the responsibility of your daughter tool. Think your being taken for granted.

With my current partner when he's getting a bit complacent I slack off on the cleaning/cooking etc for a .week or so, so he gets the picture and sees how much I am doing. Same with kids get them to help with a big.clean and they start appreciating what you do fans cooperate a.little.more. I'd find a way for him to see he's taking you for granted as just telling them often doesn't work. Maybe you need to go away with the girls for a weekend whilst he stays at home looking after your daughter? Something like that...

XXXMinnieXXX

I would be hurt and angry (since this isn't the first time he has been like this). I feel your pain & hurt.

My hubby has done the same thing to me the last 3 years - no xmas, no birthday, no annviy - although I do go get him something. Then I of course get the "Why did you do that, I told you I wanted nothing. Now I have to go get you something." Really?

There are times I really ask myself - Why did I marry this selfish bast@rd?

*huggles* Hope you figure out something and make him see how horrible of a hubby he is being.

That's so sad. I couldn't be with someone like that again. Been there it was awful! X

mtaylor33557

I think I would have cheerfully said "My turn" when talking about the next ride to ride... or I would have asked him to stay with the child while I rode some rides. If you didn't ask, he may not have known you were upset... Just tell him that you get a "redo" day since you had trouble enjoying your birthday. Ask him to take you on a date!

Sharonks

I think you should go for some counseling. If he won't go then go yourself. You two have a serious communication problem. Counseling may help you learn to communicate better, it may help you accept that he is what he is, or it may help him change to make you happier. Even if he won't go you could learn to speak up for yourself, have better self esteem despite what he does, and learn that you are in control of what you do/react to and can do nothing about what he does. That acceptance brings loads of peace.

fishbarn

Yep I would be upset with my hubby if he did that.

apedeb09

I would be furious and very hurt! Funny thing is I can actually see my husband doing something like that if he were with his brother.. He tends to ignore me completely when his brother is around. We went to a water park together once with his brother and he ignored me the whole time, left me with our daughter while his brother and him went on waters slides, etc.. But on your birthday no less?? He would never hear the end of it from me!

sweetsarahj

I'd be pissed about that. He sounds selfish. Bottom line is that you can't control his behaviour, only your reaction to it. My reaction would have been pretty harsh btw. That behaviour would get a boyfriend fired and a husband put on probation.

mapple322

I hope you have a good memory. When his birthday rolls around, fix dinner for you and your family. When he asks "Why didn't you get me anything for my birthday?", explain very nicely "You get to be married to me...and I fixed you dinner...that should be enough!".

MoveTheMountain

... But the thing that hurts the most was the fact that my husband didn't do anything for me for my birthday. Not as much as a card. This is the second year in a row I got nothing from him. Last year I turned 40 and he "planned" a surprise party for me. Come to find out he actually asked my best friend to plan it for him. He did get the cake though. But even last year, I got nothing. The party was my gift he said. The party that my best friend planned and organized. This year he said the trip was my present. The trip that my mother in law planned and paid for. So...would you be hurt?

Yes, this is seriously lame. You should be pissed that he's taking you for granted. Let him know, and don't take that *kitten*.

And a party is definitely not a present... a party is merely the context in which you receive your presents.

Carrot1971

I hope you have a good memory. When his birthday rolls around, fix dinner for you and your family. When he asks "Why didn't you get me anything for my birthday?", explain very nicely "You get to be married to me...and I fixed you dinner...that should be enough!".

This is what I plan on doing....

Mummyadams

Yeah I'd be pissed and let him know too. Tell him to buck up his ideas!

caraiselite

i would be livid and tell him to gtfo

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

... But the thing that hurts the most was the fact that my husband didn't do anything for me for my birthday. Not as much as a card. This is the second year in a row I got nothing from him. Last year I turned 40 and he "planned" a surprise party for me. Come to find out he actually asked my best friend to plan it for him. He did get the cake though. But even last year, I got nothing. The party was my gift he said. The party that my best friend planned and organized. This year he said the trip was my present. The trip that my mother in law planned and paid for. So...would you be hurt?

Yes, this is seriously lame. You should be pissed that he's taking you for granted. Let him know, and don't take that *kitten*.

And a party is definitely not a present... a party is merely the context in which you receive your presents.

^^ This... You have every reason to get pissed off & not only for taking you for granted but the fact that he's trying to fool you by all his lies. Another thing is that while I understand that he may have a very close relationship with his biological family but the fact that he wasn't doing his fatherly duties to your daughter is also a very lame thing.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

I hope you have a good memory. When his birthday rolls around, fix dinner for you and your family. When he asks "Why didn't you get me anything for my birthday?", explain very nicely "You get to be married to me...and I fixed you dinner...that should be enough!".

LMAO I like that idea

MooMooooo

I'm with the others - I'd be MAD too!

In fact, I'm mad just reading about it.

I would get revenge, for sure - but I wouldn't wait until his birthday.

I'd figure out what his currency is and withhold it - whether it's driving chores, household chores, special favours - whatever - they'd be completely GONE until he apologised and made up for it properly.

I'd never let it die.

Chin up and ((hugs))

hesn92

yes

foxyforce

men can be selfish idiots, i say this because right now my fiance and i are in a fight. fml.

momof4ts

Wow, bless your heart. I know what you're going through, because I was THAT GUY two years ago. My wife had to ask for a divorce before I woke up. Ask your husband to read "Every Man's Marriage". That book (and a lot of prayer!) saved my marriage.

Thanks for sharing your testimony! I am married to one of those men..... well for years he was, you have to communicate with him! It can get better! God knows your heart and your hurt. And cares for you and about you more than you can imagine! Blessings to you!:flowerforyou: