I have NEVER in my life done this before...

justforme8

As I sit here With my nursing books around me, my two little kids watching TV and the 3 yes 3 workout/fitness/inshape MAgazines in my lap that I bought today I think WTF?! Now I am not looking for its ok, get back on the wagon,or everyone does it. I KNOW this is UNACCEPTABLE. I am Generally a healthy person, a little too much beer sometimes, and def. Too big of protions. ... BUT TODAY today I went grocery shopping picked up alll my healthy foods, have a list of dinners/lunches/etc for the week and decided, what the heck Im going to buy some peanut butter ice cream (reeses cup) because I dont like ice cream and only want like a bite or 2 here and there. . . Today throughout the whole day I have finsihed the whle thing. YES EVERY SINGLE DROP. on top of a healthy lunch and dinner. I want to cry, puke, tell the world I am fricken fat, and who cares?>??!!! ME I do, absolutly. my jeans are too tight I dont want to have sex because well Im NOT happy. But I realized soemthing today, my VERY CLOSE and dear neighbor has been battling cancer for 5 years, it finally made its way to her intestines and she is in the hospital not being able to eat for 3 months now, on hospice/her death bed and I am devastated. I mean torn to pieces, to watch her loving husband and 9 yo daughter go through something so terriable, and her I am just eating and eating and not caring seriously the thoughts were running through my head, why are you doing this to yourself? How selfish??
But This is me telling the world that hey I f-ed up, and ImSOOO pissed at myself, and I just need to vent. No nursing final, or someone passing or about to pass, or trying to raise 2 young children while my husband works 60 hours a week and in school 20 other hours, ,,, should be my free card to eat more calories in basiaclly 3 hours then needed for 2 days!!! I wouldnt let my kids do that, so I shouldnt let myself. . . . SO MFP, here I am, my insecurities allll layed out. . . . tHANK YOU SO MUCH for just letting me let it out!!!!

foxyforce

that was beautiful. good for you!!!!!!!! i send you all of my thoughts and admiration for your empowerment to continue this journey!:flowerforyou:

vhuber

You know what??? You just did what "alot" of us have done "many" times, so pick yourself back up, pull it together and go for a walk with your two lovely daughters. The fresh air and movement will do you ALL some good!! Then when it is dinner time make something healthy for all of ya, in fact make a double batch so you will be ready for tomorrow!! You can and you will do this, today was only a day start over right NOW !!!
Best wishes sweetie,
Verda

Biggestloserfan

I know where you are coming from. I was doing really well and this week has been a horrible mess for me eating wise. I have gained back probably the 12 lbs that it took me to lose over the last three months. I went back on the medication prednisone for one week and just let my mind rule and my hunger cravings and gave in to every one of them. I feel so sick and bloated and unhealthy it isn't even funny. I am fed up with it. So even though I screwed up today I am still fixing a healthy dinner tonight instead of trying to not eat anything else and then start back to clean eating tomorrow. It is a learning process for me and I know when I get discouraged I turn to food and I need to break that cycle. We can do this and that is why I love MFP so much because it allows us to have the support when we don't have it at home!!!!!!!

kokonutmama

:sad: atta girl. you'll feel better tomorrow, and you'll never forget the way you feel right now.

Kath712

Think about it this way...you needed some comfort, for whatever reason. It sounds to me like you have lots of reasons that you need comfort (husband's busy schedule, your schooling, raising kids, and probably most of all, your sadness over your neighbor). Any one of those things would be reason to stress, but all of them together is a lot!

Try not to be too hard on yourself. OK, so you slipped off your diet today. But you did some very important care-taking by posting this. You put yourself out there for all of us to see, and that is not easy to do. A lot of other people would suffer in silence and pretend it didn't happen. But then they'd be back in the same place the next day or next week. By putting this out there, you've taken a big step. Maybe next time you need some comfort, you will not eat as much, or at all. Maybe you'll catch yourself and realize that you don't want to eat to deal with stress. And even if you do eat, that's o.k.

Cut yourself some slack. What would you tell a friend who did the same thing? Would you call your friend "selfish?" No, of course not. You'd tell her you love her and give her a hug. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. Take care,
Kathy

april_mesk

We have all done this. I ate a hole bag of Salt and Vinegar chips and was pissed that I gained a pound last week. So, I worked out almost immediately after I did this because I was so mad and trust me the workout felt like crap because of what I ate.... I could have easily have stopped myself but didn't. Move on... It's going to happen through the journey of weight loss. Just stick with it. Don't give up! Think about where you will be in a year's time... If you lose 1 lb. a week in a year's time you will have lost 52 lbs. (don't know that you would need to lose that much, but, think of it this way).... Good luck to you and hope to hear your successes in a year's time! I will probably still be here even if I have reached my goal! What a wonderful site!!!

justforme8

Thank you for everyone's kind words. I ended up working out last night, and Started today great as well!! I just wanted to pop in and say thank you!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: