Support Needed (Please)

ladytinkerbell99

Hi Everyone,
My name is Marcy. Today has been a day of extremely high and extremely low.

I will try not to make this long and boring. If you only knew how hard this is for me to write, to admit.

I am 50. Pear shaped. I started at 186.5 lbs.

I had a very successful business life. Winning rewards and doing hours and hours of volunteer work.

I loved this part of my life. If this could be my life 24/7 - I would be in great shape. Unfortunately, it was when it was dark
and I was alone at home that I realized how lonely I really was in life. That began my vicious cycle of eating in the middle of the night (usually take out) and gaining weight.

Finally, when I lost my Dad. I said that I needed to make a change. I eat clean and workout 6 days a week.

Today, I stepped on scale today, and I have officially lost 80 lbs!! More importantly, I am now (they need a drum-roll on this site) 17.6% Body Fat. :blushing:

I am so happy. I could cry.

Now, I want to mention a situation that happened today as we were relaxing on my deck.

So, I met with my 2 best male friends in the world. I would do anything for either one of them.
I have known them for 20+ years.

One is super athletic. He looked at me. I said ..looked the weight is gone. I am finding my abs.
I was happy.
He said, " My God you have no chest!!" Then he said.."Your so pale you look like a ghost."

My other friend said - nothing. I asked him what he thought. He said, "Is it wise to lose weight, what will you wear?"
It is costly to buy new clothes. I just don't think you were thinking?

I knew joining MFP that the healthy eating (for me it is clean) and the exercising was going to be a little bit of a battle. But, I am working on it everyday. I am proud of what I have done and am doing.

What is shocking to me is the internal battle.

I am 50 years old and I feel like I am in Kindergarten trying to make new friends.

Is anyone else having these kinds of experiences and what are you doing? Does it work?

Cold_Steel

Sounds like those two friends are complete and udder asshats and I wouldnt consider them a friend if one of them said that.

Really seriously ? What were you thinking when you lost weight ? I would have asked what he was thinking before he saw his life flash before his eyes.... what a douche.

Just remember one thing in life about people - "The only reason why others drown you in negativity is because they themselves have nothing else to hold onto"

Spanaval

I'm inclined towards saying 'With friends like that, who needs enemies?'. As long as you are sure you are fit and healthy, ignore the naysayers.

melzenitram

is it wise to lose weight?!?!?
uhhhhhhh yeah you dropped 80 freaking pounds! it takes amazing dedication and determination to do that! many people are too scared to even start this process.
you lost weight and gained health!
find more supportive friends that will be positive!!
btw, congrats...sincerely. what you have accomplished is AWESOME!

dsc32209

I believe sometimes people don't know how to respond to major changes in our lives. You know you have achieved something wonderful. Please don't let others (no matter how long you have known them) take away the joy you should be feeling at your success.

takehimaway

[I feel like I never know the right things to say.]

-hugs-

jojojo909090

They may be your loveliest and closest friends but those guys don't know you very well or cope with change. If they did they would celebrate with you and tell you how amazing you undoubtedly look.

Tell them they are *kitten* and that they have offended you, and explain in short simple words how they have done so. By what they have said they certainly won't know this intuitively. _sgh_

freew67

Unfortunately this is when you find out who your real friends are.

Congrats on the 80lbs! I also agree with melzenitram, you have done something a lot of people are scared to do. You should be very proud of yourself.

Pimpmonkey

I have to say, I've never run into that, but I would just tell them to kiss my *kitten* and leave it at that. They'll come around. They might be worried that in your new found glory, you might not have time for them any more or not need them anymore.

ladytinkerbell99

Sounds like those two friends are complete and udder asshats and I wouldnt consider them a friend if one of them said that.

Really seriously ? What were you thinking when you lost weight ? I would have asked what he was thinking before he saw his life flash before his eyes.... what a douche.

Just remember one thing in life about people - "The only reason why others drown you in negativity is because they themselves have nothing else to hold onto"

^ Thank you. You quote brought me great comfort. For that I am truly grateful. If you do not mind, I would like to use it. Is it yours? Someone else? I like to give credit where it is due. ((Hugs))

ladytinkerbell99

I'm inclined towards saying 'With friends like that, who needs enemies?'. As long as you are sure you are fit and healthy, ignore the naysayers.

Right now, I am NOT losing any more weight. I want to get strong. My dream is to be strong, not skinny.

What happened today, made me realize I need to work more on me inside. Thank you.

ladytinkerbell99

is it wise to lose weight?!?!?
uhhhhhhh yeah you dropped 80 freaking pounds! it takes amazing dedication and determination to do that! many people are too scared to even start this process.
you lost weight and gained health!
find more supportive friends that will be positive!!
btw, congrats...sincerely. what you have accomplished is AWESOME!

^ I agree. Thanks . You are AWESOME yourself!!

kokaneesailor

Marcy, fantastic commitment! Sorry to hear about your "friends" comments. Sometimes people can be jealous of other's successes. I hope that get to achieve your dream of climbing your rock wall. Keep your head up high and soldier on. It might be the right time to start hanging out with like minded people. Best of luck on your continuing journey. :flowerforyou:

Its_Nat

Well done on your personal achievement!!

And seriously, with friends like that you don't need enemies. Take a deep breath, put a smile on your face and say "stuff the both of you", and move on.

You are worth ten people like that, and you WILL find people worthy of your friendship. If a friend can't enjoy your success, then I'd not be calling them a friend.

Spanaval

I'm inclined towards saying 'With friends like that, who needs enemies?'. As long as you are sure you are fit and healthy, ignore the naysayers.

Right now, I am NOT losing any more weight. I want to get strong. My dream is to be strong, not skinny.

What happened today, made me realize I need to work more on me inside. Thank you.

If you're not already doing it, start lifting heavy weights. It ought to shut these jerks up if you bench press them when they say idiotic things.

ladytinkerbell99

I believe sometimes people don't know how to respond to major changes in our lives. You know you have achieved something wonderful. Please don't let others (no matter how long you have known them) take away the joy you should be feeling at your success.

^ I am going to think more about this. Thank you.

ladytinkerbell99

[I feel like I never know the right things to say.]

-hugs-

^ Sometimes, saying that - is the best thing to say. Thanks for the hug.

ladytinkerbell99

They may be your loveliest and closest friends but those guys don't know you very well or cope with change. If they did they would celebrate with you and tell you how amazing you undoubtedly look.

Tell them they are *kitten* and that they have offended you, and explain in short simple words how they have done so. By what they have said they certainly won't know this intuitively. _sgh_

Oh my gosh, I so wish I had thought of this. Hugs.

paprikas

OMG we all have times when we doubt ourselves, when we feel vulnerable, or when change, even change for the good is just too frightening. Sometimes our friendships evolve, and sometimes they just fade.

Hold your head high, enjoy the positive changes you have worked hard for, and don't let other people's weaknesses drag you down. You deserve happiness.

ladytinkerbell99

Unfortunately this is when you find out who your real friends are.

Congrats on the 80lbs! I also agree with melzenitram, you have done something a lot of people are scared to do. You should be very proud of yourself.

^ I so agree. I just was not expecting this when I set out on my journey. I was hoping I could lose 2.5 lbs and make it to the end of the driveway. LOL
Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it. More than you know. :flowerforyou:

ladytinkerbell99

I have to say, I've never run into that, but I would just tell them to kiss my *kitten* and leave it at that. They'll come around. They might be worried that in your new found glory, you might not have time for them any more or not need them anymore.

Thanks. Never thought of it from that perspective. Interesting.

M3l1s5a

Sounds like those two friends are complete and udder asshats and I wouldnt consider them a friend if one of them said that.

Really seriously ? What were you thinking when you lost weight ? I would have asked what he was thinking before he saw his life flash before his eyes.... what a douche.

Just remember one thing in life about people - "The only reason why others drown you in negativity is because they themselves have nothing else to hold onto"

"Asshats"!!! :laugh: :laugh:

That being said, that nickname completely fits. You lost the weight, you feel better, you get to buy new clothes. Take off the asshats and enjoy your success!!!

taso42

I'm not sure what those fellows were thinking. Weird stuff. But I'm replying to say congratulations on a great weight loss!!

ladytinkerbell99

Marcy, fantastic commitment! Sorry to hear about your "friends" comments. Sometimes people can be jealous of other's successes. I hope that get to achieve your dream of climbing your rock wall. Keep your head up high and soldier on. It might be the right time to start hanging out with like minded people. Best of luck on your continuing journey. :flowerforyou:

^ Thank you for your comments. I really do appreciate them. My Dad was a soldier and your comments are very special. :flowerforyou:

mjsamee

oh when jealousy rears its ugly head:huh: I have lost almost 75 pounds and many friends have just fallen off the map, I feel very isolated at times, they never tell me how good I am doing or how good I look, I am doing it for me, My husband and family lift me up and help me feel better but it is bitter sweet for sure, just stay you and do not become snobby or jaded,I have seen that when people lose weight they become entirely different people, I am determined to stay with my high school sweetheart, drive the same car live in the same house and be thinner happier and healthier, good luck its not easy and it does hurt when your "friends" do not react the way you expect! maybe you should tell them that they hurt your feelings, maybe they didnt realize??:indifferent: thats am amazing accomplishment and congradulations!!! xoxo

ladytinkerbell99

I'm not sure what those fellows were thinking. Weird stuff. But I'm replying to say congratulations on a great weight loss!!

Thank you. That is so sweet. :flowerforyou: I do appreciate it.

DeePrater

Are these guys jealous of your success? Do you think they feel like your relationships might change and they could be left behind? Congratulations and try to move past these negative comments!

asmallermeplz

If you don`t go after what you want, you`ll never have it.If you don`t ask, the answer is always NO.And if you don`t step forward,you`re always in the same place... :happy:
Tell them how they made you feel they may mean well.and not know that they hurt you.
If you do tell them they can not fix it. CONGRADS! on the new you be PROUD! :flowerforyou:

freew67

^ I so agree. I just was not expecting this when I set out on my journey. I was hoping I could lose 2.5 lbs and make it to the end of the driveway. LOL
Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it. More than you know. :flowerforyou:

I started at 340 and just wanted to get out of the 300's. Im down 104 lbs now. Crazy where our journeys take us once we start.

mrsnathanandrew

Sounds like those two friends are complete and udder asshats and I wouldnt consider them a friend if one of them said that.

Really seriously ? What were you thinking when you lost weight ? I would have asked what he was thinking before he saw his life flash before his eyes.... what a douche.

Just remember one thing in life about people - "The only reason why others drown you in negativity is because they themselves have nothing else to hold onto"

I agree with this 100%!! I must also add that you did this for you, not for them, and if they aren't supportive you need to ditch them, seriously. That is a big step in the internal fight, getting rid of all the negativity around you and surrounding yourself with positive people! Seriously, I'm impressed you didn't slap them in the face, I would have.

kaotik26

Well I haven't lost that much weight, but I think after I did and someone said something like that to me, I would ask them to leave. Pretty much tell them I like myself the way that I am and damn proud for getting myself there. Don't let anybody talk down to you and especially don't let them make you feel bad.