Kids say the darndest things...

Options
2

Replies

  • jcjsjones
    jcjsjones Posts: 571 Member
    Options
    A conversation I had with my son when he was 4 (he is now 11).

    Me: You are so good looking!
    Him: I know I am, Mom.
    Me: Where did I get such a good looking boy?
    Him: Duh, Mom. At the good looking boy store! LOL!
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    Options
    A conversation between my 10yrold and my 5 yr old.

    10yrold: I'm hot
    5yrold: are you sweating hot or dating hot

    LMAO!!
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    Options
    This is a conversation with the same son of mine (I have twins)

    Me: Babe, what do you want to eat?
    Him: I'm not Babe, I'm Jaxon.
    Me: I know your name Jaxon, I just called you Babe because it's cute, like a pet name.
    Him: A pet? I'm not a pet. Do I look like a dog or a cat to you?

    I cried laughing.
  • kd_mazur
    kd_mazur Posts: 569 Member
    Options
    My six yr old daughter and I were at a resteraunt with my sister:
    daughter: I'm going to the bathroom, you don't need to go I can go by myself
    My sister: No, girls never go to the bathroom alone. I'll go along.
    daughter: Why not?
    My sister: There might be a creeper in the bathroom and so we go together to be safe
    daughter: What's a creeper?
    My sister: That would be like a man in the girls room where he didn't belong
    daugher: oh

    two days later she went with her dad somewhere. Later that day when she returned home she informed me that she was a creeper today becuase she needed to go and daddy took her to the men's room instead of the ladies

    LMAO!
  • Discoveri
    Discoveri Posts: 435 Member
    Options
    My husband and I take care of my fake nieces (kids of close family friends) and one time they were staying at our house for the weekend. The youngest one fell asleep in the car and as she was being carried inside, she had the following exchange with my husband:

    Gracie: Am I Amish?
    Hubs: No, you aren't Amish.
    Gracie: Oh. *falls asleep again*

    Gracie also no longer wants to be a cowgirl because she misheard "herd animals" as "hurt animals".
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
    Options
    hahaha these are all so funny!!!

    I was hanging out with my cousins 3 year old a few months back and she helped me with something and I said
    "Thanks buddy"

    and she looked at me, dead serious look on her face and said
    "I am not a buddy! I am a girl" hahahaha

    My own daughter (almost 10) was grocery shopping with me the other day and we went down the pop/chip isle and she said "what are we doing down here? Are we having a party or something?" Made me feel pretty darn good about myself! haha
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
    Options
    My Husband and 6 year old son, Joey:

    Husband: Joey why are you laying on the couch. You need to do your chores.
    Joey: well dad, Its because I'm kinda lazy like you....

    AWKWARD!!!!!
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Options
    I loved it when my boys were little and would say things like that. One time my mom asked my then 5 yr old what his little brother (2yrs old) would want for Christmas. He thought really hard then said "I think he'd like a door stop because he really hates it when mom shuts his door and he can't get out. (I had a doorknob cover on the inside knob.)

    I thought I would really miss those days but it turns out they continue for quite a while. Just a few months ago my 11 yr old (formerly known as the 2yr old who wanted a doorstop) and I were watching TV. A commercial for Cialis (erectile dysfunction medication) came on and he asked what that meant. I sighed but since he was almost 12 I told him exactly what that meant and what the medication did. He replied "DUDE!! That is MESSED UP!!" I about peed myself I laughed so hard.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Options
    visting my godson he told me I looked hot .... I said it was cold outside so i was dressed up warmly.. he looks at me and goes no you look hot, sexy ... he was 11 at the time ! made my evening anyhow :smile:
  • Dragonnade
    Dragonnade Posts: 218 Member
    Options
    On Sunday I was at the cricket where you can, quite literally, drink from 10am till 7pm in the sun. And people do.

    Anyway, there was a kid behind me, about 10 or 11 I'd guess, who was clearly on his first trip to the cricket. All sorts of questions interspersed with "I'm bored" and farfetched wishes for an entertaining batting collapse. Until the crowd started making snakes from the empty beer glasses.

    Kid: "Why are they doing that?"
    Mother: "They're drunk"
    Kid: Have you ever been drunk mum?
    Mother: Yes dear.
    Kid: I want to be drunk one day.

    I missed the reply for giggling. Possibly not quite what his parents wanted him to take from a day out at £60 a ticket!
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
    Options
    My three year old son and I:

    "Mom, why do you go for bike rides?" (Kids melt down when I walk out the door. Every. time.)

    "Because I want to live a long time so I can be a grandma when you have kids!"

    "But Mom, you can't be a grandma. You have to be my mom."

    "I will always be your mom. But when you have kids, I will be their grandma, and I want you to bring them to my house so I can feed them junk food and then send them home with you, like your grandma does."

    "But mom, you don't have any baby food."

    "Hun, if you bring your kids to see me, I'll make sure I have baby food in the house."

    "Where are you going to get the baby food?"

    "Target? I get everything at Target."

    *Contemplative silence* "I guess that's okay then."




    Also, we are in the middle of trying to potty train my 2 year old daughter. Which means naked from waist down. So she lays on the couch and does weird spread eagle poses constantly, and my son from the opposite side of the couch says "Mom, Emmie is showing me her body. Can you make her stop?" :laugh:
  • TKHappy
    TKHappy Posts: 659 Member
    Options
    There is one that I just love to tell about my daughter, she was 5 when it happened and even 5 years later I laugh at it:

    We were driving back from our family vacation and my daughter announced that she had to use the bathroom, so we asked her to hold it until we got to the next rest stop! As we pulled up to the next rest area she started to cry, and I mean ball her eyes out!

    Me: Honey, whats wrong?
    Daughter: I really have to pee!
    Me: Ok, well we are here so you can go now!
    Daughter: No I can't. (Starts crying harder)
    Me: Yes you can...come on!
    Daughter: Mom, I will get arrested, the sign says no peeing!

    Here's me....confused only to look up and see her pointing to a No Parking sign! I burst into laughter, so much so I was crying!
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
    Options
    My six yr old daughter and I were at a resteraunt with my sister:
    daughter: I'm going to the bathroom, you don't need to go I can go by myself
    My sister: No, girls never go to the bathroom alone. I'll go along.
    daughter: Why not?
    My sister: There might be a creeper in the bathroom and so we go together to be safe
    daughter: What's a creeper?
    My sister: That would be like a man in the girls room where he didn't belong
    daugher: oh

    two days later she went with her dad somewhere. Later that day when she returned home she informed me that she was a creeper today becuase she needed to go and daddy took her to the men's room instead of the ladies

    LMAO!

    I'm in love with this. We went to the pool (me and my son and daughter) and my son was trying to peek through the door, and I said "Stop it, you look like a creeper!" and now he goes around peeking from behind furniture saying "I'm being a creeper!"

    Yep, gonna be great in preschool this year.
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
    Options
    Also....

    not say but do...

    When my son was about 3 1/2 we were watching a parade. I looked away from him for a minute and when I looked back he was gone. I panicked and looked to my left and saw him playing with the controller on a paraplegic’s electric wheelchair and driving this poor man down the sidewalk. I ran to get him and pull him off the controller and he kept screaming “IT’S MY TURN”.
  • ADM1979
    ADM1979 Posts: 105 Member
    Options
    When I was pregnant with my oldest son (now 12), there was a young boy who would sit with me at church. At this time, Danny was about 3 or 4. I was 7 or 8 months pregnant with my son and we where having Wednesday night bible study. During church, Danny asked me how they were going to get the baby from my belly. I panic and say "Well, the doctors are going to squeeze my tummy like a lemon and the baby will come out my belly button." The preacher then said to bow our head for prayer. About 2 seconds later I feel my stomach being squeezed and Danny is trying hard to make the baby come out like I told him. He looks at me and say "I'm ready to play with him." and he did not whisper it. I didn't know if I should laugh or die of embarrassment.
  • prjoy98
    prjoy98 Posts: 250 Member
    Options
    OMG! I dont have kids yet and my step-kids have thankfully never put me in any of these yet...however..these are too funny!!!
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    Options
    Three kids; tons of funny conversations, and it doesn't stop as they get older. When my daughter was 12 she asked me if I knew who it was in the Bible that said, "Let he that is without sin throw the first stone." I asked her if she knew the story behind that statement, and we had the following conversation.

    Daughter: "Well, there was this woman that was a Protestant . . . "
    Me: "Umm, honey, do you know what a Protestant is?"
    Daughter: "Yes."
    Me: "What?"
    Daughter: "You know, mom."
    Me: "Please tell me what a Protestant is."
    Daughter: "You know. It's a woman that has 'you know' for money."
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    When we moved to Chicago my son was 3 1/2. He had never had anybody watch him other than family or close friends. So we set up our first night with a babysitter. We go out, get home - everything went well. He gets up the next morning and ask him how it went, he says "Dad, she wasn't a baby - she was just a girl!"
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Options
    I was in the washroom when my 7 year old (she was 4 at the time) came in... She looked at me and said... Mom, why do you have cat hair? :embarassed:

    I don't remember what I said, but I killed myself laughing afterward!!!
  • TheirEllie82
    TheirEllie82 Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    I took my 7 year old to a hockey game in March and he decided he needed to go to the bathroom during the intermission. I am standing outside of the men's room playing on my phone when suddenly the door swings open and he comes rushing out and down the hallway while he yells back to me "We got to get out of here because I made it smell real bad in there!"... I just hung my head in shame, as the line of people at the popcorn stand laughed, and followed him

Categories