This is all I want

mickipedia

This doesn't really come under any topic, but I chose this one.

I am going to write things that I want, I am frustrated with not having them.


I want...

To be able to walk down the street without looking down to see my thighs wobble with every step
To be able to carry my hangbag on my shoulder without being self-concious that my blubbery arms are pressing against them and making them look bigger
To be able to whip my top off on a hot day and lie down with a bikini top on in public
To be able to wear any outfit without cursing my legs for being stumpy or my stomach for poking out
To be able to sit at any angle and not worry about bulges and creases
To be wanted by every guy
To be the girl that makes people jealous
To be the girlfriend that my boyfriend is proud to show off
To not ever be "the fat friend"
To have friends
To be able to eat something without feeling so guilty I almost end up in tears
To go a day without convincing myself of a reason as to why I look so "bloated" that day
To fit in size 8 skinny jeans
To actually look like the size I am
To be one of those girls who just always look amazing
To be one of those girls who wears baggy clothes but you can still tell they have an amazing body underneath
To be the girl that people ask diet tips from
To be complimented by a stranger
To not feel the need to cry because after a year of being on MFP I still look the same
To not have to approve pictures of myself before they are publicly accessable
To be able to look in the mirror for a long time without finding 20 million flaws
To have skinny and dainty arms
To not have a double chin
To not have a second pair of boobs from fat rolls
To wake up each morning and be able to put anything on and look amazing
To not have to write immense lists of things I want
To be happy.

That is all.

classycouture

This breaks my heart to read! It's so easy to get lost in the scale, the numbers, the measurements, and the delusion that all your problems and sorrows will go away once you lose weight (trust me they won't!). Today is a new day, change things up. You said you haven't seen much progress in the past year, try something different! Mix things up, food wise AND exercise wise! Try to change your mentality as well. I can tell just from this list you see yourself in such a negative light (and I hate that you do!!). Try being a little more positive, ecourage yourself, believe in yourself! You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. You are beautiful, funny, witty, caring, the list goes on! I just hope that one day you see how beautiful you really are, inside and out! Hang in there, love.

tigerlily8045

Well then Rock that list!

NoFatChick2

I think this is sad. Everything is focused on only one thing: how you look. So sad.

grrrlface

I relate to this and I also feel after a year of being here that I am more self conscious and feel fatter than I did a year ago. I don't feel Ihave changed much in the past 12 months. :-\

mickipedia

Thanks guys, I'm not looking for a solution.. I just needed to vent

jcomley1

Sweety, From looking at your profile pic, it appears your body has changed a HUGE amount. You are half the size! And at risk of sounding patronising, I think a lot of this is to do with how you perceive yourself, rather then what actually is.
You look fantastic!!! I am no guy, but I think your body is sexy and beautiful.
Dont let yourself live your whole life focusing on what is wrong with yourself. You will look back in twenty years time and wished you had loved yourself more.
I completely understand your frustration - we have all been there.
But wow, i think you are stunning. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Remember, nobody is as judgemental and hard on yourself as you are. You are your fiercest critic.
So take it easy, and embrace that body you have.

:flowerforyou:

mickipedia

Sweety, From looking at your profile pic, it appears your body has changed a HUGE amount. You are half the size! And at risk of sounding patronising, I think a lot of this is to do with how you perceive yourself, rather then what actually is.
You look fantastic!!! I am no guy, but I think your body is sexy and beautiful.
Dont let yourself live your whole life focusing on what is wrong with yourself. You will look back in twenty years time and wished you had loved yourself more.
I completely understand your frustration - we have all been there.
But wow, i think you are stunning. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Remember, nobody is as judgemental and hard on yourself as you are. You are your fiercest critic.
So take it easy, and embrace that body you have.

:flowerforyou:

Thank you, this means a lot.

I know I am my worst judge and I know I can't be as bad as I think I am because I fit in to a UK size 8.. I'm currently holding weight in all of the wrong places which gives the illusion that I am much bigger then I am.

I just need to get over this :ohwell:

super_monty

I need a male version of that list, love it.

I think this one would still be on it for many men!

"To not have a second pair of boobs from fat rolls "

ashesfromfire

I've lost almost twenty pounds (ten while doing MFP) and you cannot tell by looking at me. It kills me. I still wear the same size clothes, still have my double chin, still got all my tummy, so where the weight coming off from, my ears? I totally nderstand. Its really difficult. But you'll get through.

Ralphrabbit

You can have the last one now!
You attitude is your choice. Choose to love who you are no matter what you look like or you will risk losing your happiness if you change. Your happiness must not depend on other stuff. Be happy no matter what. Yes you want to make changes but that's why we are all here. We will cheer you on but you need to choose to love the person that you are now so that you can make those changes.
God don't make junk & He made you.

nataliexxxx

YOU CAN DO IT! I want most of these too

mickipedia

you're all too lovely, I feel better today.

I want just in "one of those moods" yesterday

kazhowe

bump

cally69

Your post has made me feel sad for you. I feel you have a skewed perception of yourself and even if others told you that you were pretty and slim you still wouldn't believe it. Self worth is way more than what you think you see in a mirror.
You need to find that part of you which is strong and build on it. Who you are means more than what you look like.
Ever noticed those people who aren't especially pretty or slim but they have something which people are drawn to?
That quality is confidence which radiates from you once you accept yourself for who you are, no matter what.
You only have one life and it's short. As we say in Scotland 'you're a long time dead'
Stop worrying and get out there!!!
X

millyvanilli321

a UK size 8?! How on earth do your thighs wobble at a size 8?? I bet you look fantastic. If you have lost the pounds but still feel a little bit wobbly maybe try starting some lifting? I'm no expert but I've recently started Jillian Michael's 30 day shred to incorporate lifting into my work out because apparently if you just stick to cardio you do lose fat, but lifting helps tone the muscles much more. Because muscle is more dense than fat, and so the same weight of it takes up less space, you will actually look the size you feel you should at the weight you've achieved. Congratulations on your loss so far!

newhabit

This doesn't really come under any topic, but I chose this one.

I am going to write things that I want, I am frustrated with not having them.


I want...

To be able to walk down the street without looking down to see my thighs wobble with every step
To be able to carry my hangbag on my shoulder without being self-concious that my blubbery arms are pressing against them and making them look bigger
To be able to whip my top off on a hot day and lie down with a bikini top on in public
To be able to wear any outfit without cursing my legs for being stumpy or my stomach for poking out
To be able to sit at any angle and not worry about bulges and creases
To be wanted by every guy
To be the girl that makes people jealous
To be the girlfriend that my boyfriend is proud to show off
To not ever be "the fat friend"
To have friends
To be able to eat something without feeling so guilty I almost end up in tears
To go a day without convincing myself of a reason as to why I look so "bloated" that day
To fit in size 8 skinny jeans
To actually look like the size I am
To be one of those girls who just always look amazing
To be one of those girls who wears baggy clothes but you can still tell they have an amazing body underneath
To be the girl that people ask diet tips from
To be complimented by a stranger
To not feel the need to cry because after a year of being on MFP I still look the same
To not have to approve pictures of myself before they are publicly accessable
To be able to look in the mirror for a long time without finding 20 million flaws
To have skinny and dainty arms
To not have a double chin
To not have a second pair of boobs from fat rolls
To wake up each morning and be able to put anything on and look amazing
To not have to write immense lists of things I want
To be happy.

That is all.

although i understand that having goals is good, i think some of this stuff may be a bit hard to obtain for anyone. a perfect body doesn't give you these things. you need to gain the confidence through your mind as well as your body and then other things will fall in place. but, all of these things are way too high a bar for anyone. to have every guy want you, that doesn't happen for anyone, not even elite models. i believe you will get to your fitness goals because YOU seem determined, but the one thing i see time and time again on here is people who think that being smaller and more in shape will solve all of their problems. it doesn't. i lost all the weight i wanted to, and still have various body issues hanging around in my head, and problems that i thought would magically disappear when i lost weight. it doesn't just go away with the weight. so i applaud you for having a list of goals but would encourage you to think about ways to make yourself feel better about you and not worry if other people don't say anything or don't compliment you as much as you'd like. it's not about them, it's about you! the hardest part for me has been getting my mind to align with my body. I may look better in a bikini and even be able to wear one but I still feel self conscious due to the past having to hide myself. it takes a lot of mind work as well as body work. but i do think you are awesome for doing this and i wish you the best of luck!