does anyone else ever feel so alone?

Promqueen_74932

I started my journey alone and not alone at the same time. When I started my fitness journey, I was also start my spiritual and 12 step journies, so I had a lot going on. It is very frustrating to start out solo, but when you're so used to doing everything by yourself (b/c you're raised to be independent) you learn to not depend on others. So I trucked through by myself the best I could. I learned a lot along the way and made many wonderful life long friends within each categorized journey. The one thing I was taught that I enjoy sharing is to "Be the change you wish to see." I take it as, if I want inspiration, motivation, encouragment, and friends; then it has to start with me.
Reach out and ask for the help of others. Online and in Real Life. Sometimes even the small gesture (a pat on the back for a job well done) is enough to make a person know that they're doing something to benefit themselves.

Sara

AggieLu

I've adapted the mindset - ALL OR NOTHING. I'm 100% focused on what I want to eat, and how I want to exercise. Everyone offers a lot of advice and opinions - I listen and smile politely, but ultimately do what works for me. When I cook for others, I always make my food separately. I do the type of exercise that works for me. Most people tell me I'm crazy, too strict, work-out too much or too hard, that I eat too much or too little.... and you know what? I'm getting in shape while they're still where they were a year ago. I've noticed the best of my friends being jealous and trying to sabotage me by baking my favorite cake or meeting me with a venti caramel mocchiato in their hand (my favorite) after I've said so many times I don't want those for a while. Guess what? I still pass it. I don't crave it. I don't want it. They've wasted their money and hopefully learned a lesson

BE SELFISH and put yourself first. I've tried pleasing everyone else and forgotten who I was as a result. Now I'm focused, determined... and wish the same for you

sunrize_sc

The only support I have are my MFP people. Of course everyone notices when I lose weight and never say anything about when I gain weight, but in the end it's just me on my journey of weight loss. Most of my family is overweight and always have been. I'm single so I don't really have to worry about cooking for anyone except me and my daughter. My 19yo daughter is tiny and always wants sweets. It's tough to resist sometimes. I try to just make her something instead of buying something that's processed. That way I can modify the sugar and fat that I use. I've struggled with eating disorders my whole life and am bipolar. Some days are harder than other days, but I just figured it's hard for everyone. If it were easy and we had the support we all needed, we wouldn't be on MFP. Just remember that in time, all the people that have made poor food choices will have severe health issues, be overweight or worse. And you will be enjoying life as it were meant to be enjoyed. Feel free to add me if you'd like. Good luck and just keep plugging along.

dovek11

whiskeygemini put it beautifully!

I am alone, too. But not sad about it. If someone asks about the loss, I say I am eating healthy. As Whiskeygemini said, when someone asks, even if you told them what you did, they wouldn't be interested in it, really.

You have to realize this is your journey, no one else's. Whether they support you or not should not be that big of deal. Because what you are doing is for YOU after all! Sure its nice to have those you love dearly support you and encourage you. But truth of the matter is, many never truly will.
They have their own agendas.
Often friends, as well as spouses feel threatened when we make ourselves better people. Whether its when we quit smoking, or drinking and partying and they continue. Whether its that we choose to eat healthy/exercise/lose weight. They are afraid we will change, become better people and they will lose us in their lives. That is THEIR selfishness rooted in their own issues, and truly has nothing to do with us. Its their insecurities!!!!

When you feel down because you are not getting support, you might look within yourself to see why your own support of yourself isn't enough, and why you feel you need another persons support to validate what you are doing.

People do come and go in our lives, but the one who will never leave us, is ourself. We need to make our own self our biggest supporter. That isn't selfish, it isn't narcissistic, its called self preservation.....

Good luck to you!

black_sabbath

I know how you feel....my partner started off really supportive....then was offering take-aways. Followed by telling me I'm not fat and I don't need to lose weight. I know I'm over my B.M.I and I'm trying my best...but since his lack of support has gone down hill so has my motivation.
I try to look on the positive side of things but it becomes extremely difficult.

sportyredhead01

This makes me sad but you're in the right place.

My husband wasn't really on board for the first few months until all MY healthier choices helped HIM to lose 15 pounds. Of course he SAYS he did that. I know it's my change in shopping habits---no junk, more real foods and if I want dessert I have to make it...which usually means I don't eat dessert much..hahaha.

Give it time, maybe he will see this as an investment in yourself.

(Also eating better saved us money since we can fit in our clothes again!)

Good luck, feel free to add me. I'm here daily.

yoovie

God yes.
Terribly lonely sometimes.
Its gotten much better since I found MFP and a million people in my city.

Jessichiva04

I have the same feeling. Even though my husband and my family try to be supportive. And I thank them for that, but I am mainly alone. I just recently started to add friends and it has helped me a lot!

reneepugh

I used to feel alone, but now I just realize this is my fight with my own weight problems. I have accepted that my husband isn't overweight and therefore does not need to watch what he eats. He doesn't try and push food on me which does help. Once I realized that I am not going to lose weight without my own motivation, I started dropping pounds. It's great to get the confidence from others, but I had to create my own to be fully successful.

BabyLeila23

Some people don't get it BUT it can be done one meal at a time. you will have good and bad days, try to remove yourself or eat before the pizza comes. fill up on the good stuff before you can eat the bad. You won't ave too much room for the bad. When to people around you see you are serious they will do one of 2 things. support you or start leaving you alone. when people stop drinking alcohol, the alcohol drinkers stop hanging out with the ex drinkers. I hope i said that right. LOL. I stopped ordering at work with people and eventually they stopped asking me. I know you feel alone, but you have to take the lead here for yourself. If the people around you care, eventually they will get it. let them know how much their support is appreciated. some times people are watching to see if you are serious or not. They are not going to make it easy. I work with the fattest people I have ever seen up close. I am not being mean just truthful. They order out all of the time. eat all day. Last Friday they actually brought ice cream, caramel, chocolate and strawberry syrup and sugar cone bowls in for sundaes, I was pissed, upset, and mad that I had to do the right thing for me. REMEMBER THE LETTERS F L A B. We tend to eat when we are Frustrated, Lonely,
angry or Bored. breathe, do something other than eat! you will be fine !!!!!

Honestly this is the best advice anyone could give you. If you need anyone to talk to about it then just do exactly what you are doig right now Talking through it and understanding that you are not alone with these problems will help you get through it. Best wishes :flowerforyou:

DanaDark

I constantly feel alone on it.

EVERYONE I know pretty much has weight issues, some slowly creeping, and others so over weight their doctors have told them they'll be pushing daisies within a decade.

Ladies in my family (all but mom are heavy now) all look at me funny because I'm a guy that *gasp* wants to lose a few pounds off the sides. They seem COMPLETELY oblivious to the idea that maybe guys too might not want to turn into blimps.

My friends like to rub in SUPER high calorie meals and snacks. One friend even eats an entire family sized bag of Doritos's as though it was a fun sized snack (one sitting during a movie).

Pretty much the only support I get is on here. My fat friends do not want to hear anything about weight loss, and my family thinks I am crazy for not wanting to be a fat male.

cmriverside

Your husband doesn't need to be on board, and he may not ever stop ordering pizza and wings. You will have to learn to deal with your internal struggles. Don't make his life miserable because you are having issues. This is your problem. You alone have to navigate the world and food.

toffee322

yes i feel alone too.. i feel this is so hard and feel depressed.. struggling with counting calories and eating way too much and then feel guilty.. get some support from mfp but not enough i guess.. life is tough

avocado214

I understand your pain, dealing w/a food disorder is like an addict dealing w/an addiction. I recently feel off the wagon, BIG TIME. I was disappointed in myself that I punished myself w/food. I think my depression is coming back, or maybe im stressed out because my youngest is away a college (we moved her into her dorm this weekend) and last night for the first time in a long time was feeling lonely. But, it's going to be OK. I'll say a prayer for you hun, I hope you're feeling better. HUGS.