Why can't I put myself out there?

KarenAnnne

I'm 46 years old and have a large network of friends and family. I am close to all, have no drama and just generally love the people around me. Then why am I a private person? I absolutely love MFP and want to shout from the roof top what a great website it is. But I hold back. I don't want my 5 sisters and mom to join. I don't want my best friend and exercise partner to know about it. I don't contribute to the round table discussion in the teachers lounge about MFP's hints for better health. I WANT IT TO BE MY SECRET!! I feel a little shallow about keeping it a secret but when I give input on MFP, I like to put it all out there. When I want to discuss a topic and I don't want to sensor myself because somebody I know "might" read it. Does anyone else feel that way?

So this is my seg way to the topic of FACEBOOK. Am I the last human being that is not "on" Facebook? I have avoided even as my kids were being raised (now 24, 22, 19). Although I did monitor it. I am completely computer literate and have a vast knowledge of the ins and outs of technology. I have a lot of out of town friends and relatives that I could keep current on, get the inside scoop, etc, but something stops me. My question is, does EVERYONE cave at some point? Once my "profile" is out there, can I somewhat keep my privacy?

Thoughts please:)
Edited by KarenAnnne on Wed 07/25/12 07:09 PM

KarenAnnne

I'm doing a little beggin out there:) Nothing????

DawnMcUK

Hi Karen,

It is not uncommon for people with weight issues, low self esteem or however you like to look at it, to mask all of that to the people around us. Yes, you have a large family and friend circle, whom you love dearly, but the more people we have around us, the more people we have to judge us. That isn't a conscious thought, but it affects our personality by holding back and wanting things just for us; everything else we do is shared and discussed and taken from us (so to speak) by that circle that we NEED that one thing, that we know we can be a part of, without someone close getting in on it and taking that from us too.

It is completely natural to do this. I have an online blog (not mfp) where I vent my anger, frustrations and exasperations; naming names and saying what I would love to say to people in person, but can't. This blog is for me only, and if those around me read it, I would be mortified and guilty for what I have said. With MFP you can do the same, share your frustrations with people who understand, and get motivation and kind words from those who would never judge you. Unfortunately family do, especially sisters: it may not be to your knowledge, it's just human nature.

Don't ever feel pressured to do something because others do it, or you feel pressured. Your life is yours, and yours alone, and if you don't want those close to you to know what you ate for breakfast, or how much you hate the teachers lounge, you don't have to...ever!

You're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with personal privacy )

lbaileyjohannsen

Two things: I completely understand wanting MFP to be your territory. It can be frustrating and intimidating if people you are close to start using it, I think because there is a chance it could become a competition, or it will be the thing everyone wants to talk to you about when you're around.

Also, don't sweat FB, because like anything else on the internet, within a couple of years something else will have replaced it. If you are really tempted, you can customize your profile so only very few people can see it, no one can search for it, message you, etc.

TheRealParisLove

I have the exact opposite problem. I am all over the internet and want my friends and family to come online and play with me, but everyone else is just so darn uptight about having a profile on the internet. To me it feels like elitism on the part of my friends and family that refuse to start a facebook (or whatever) profile and that they view me as some kind of commoner to have jumped on the bandwagon.

I currently live far away from my friends and family, so I have to take time out of my day to actually call them on the phone to catch up if I want to talk to them. This is frustrating. I've invited everyone to join me here. I know that at least one relative has joined MFP and he won't friend me and it is now his secret. That hurts.

Please just understand that if you are going to be here and your friends want to connect to you here, it is because they like you and value what you have to contribute. If you want to keep your presence here secret, don't mention that you are using the site. It feels like a slap in the face to be shut out of the lives of people you like and respect.

yerfgirl

You're not the only one not on Facebook. I have several friends and family members who aren't and don't miss it. I think it is perfectly fine to not cross that line. Don't concern yourself too much about FB. Your friends and family will find ways to stay connected - I know I have.

As for keeping MFP private, I am the same way. This is my thing and if they knew or could see my diary or blog...I think it would be weird for me. DawnMcUk says it quite nicely:)

DawnMcUK

As for keeping MFP private, I am the same way. This is my thing and if they knew or could see my diary or blog...I think it would be weird for me. DawnMcUk says it quite nicely:)

Thank you, I hope it helps the OP x

KarenAnnne

I really appreciate all of the replies. Most of my immediate family is local so I have that benefit, but sometimes when we get together, they start talking about did you read that or did you read this? I was at my sister's this Sunday and so many of my family and friends came up to me and was commenting on how great and inspiring my daughters post was and I had NO idea what they were talking about. When I asked Emily later that night what it was, she earnestly said that we were sleeping when she got home from work(she posted her thoughts that same night) and by the next morning she forgot it. (by that time it wasn't on her mind)

By the time I heard replies at the gathering, it was new to me but old to my daughter.

KarenAnnne

Dawn, I think you pegged me perfectly. Thanks:)