Losing my mind.
OK, so this is a rant (prepare thyself) about my stupid wedding! I mean...not stupid...wonderful...but rather things that are driving me nuts.
Ladies who have already been through this, I need some sanity please.
Seating arrangements...last minute cancellations, last minute additions, everyone EVERYONE peppering you with questions to which you have no answer...
How did you stay sane with all the planning? I'm about to lose it with less than two weeks left.
My fiancee doesn't have a suit yet because he doesn't own one, has no intention of buying one, and the stores out where the wedding will take place are not out here where we live (east vs west coast thing) so we have to wait until the week of to get his suit...I'm just about to crawl under the bed and cry.
Ladies who have already been through this, I need some sanity please.
Seating arrangements...last minute cancellations, last minute additions, everyone EVERYONE peppering you with questions to which you have no answer...
How did you stay sane with all the planning? I'm about to lose it with less than two weeks left.
My fiancee doesn't have a suit yet because he doesn't own one, has no intention of buying one, and the stores out where the wedding will take place are not out here where we live (east vs west coast thing) so we have to wait until the week of to get his suit...I'm just about to crawl under the bed and cry.
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Replies
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That's the exact reason I only had 40 people at my wedding.
No advice, but good luck to you xo0 -
That's the exact reason I only had 40 people at my wedding.
No advice, but good luck to you xo
LoL-we've only got 31...but mostly my mother-in-law to be is driving me crazy....she has been contacting me about the rehearsal dinner (which, technically, is not my job to plan) as well as re-arranging who is coming/not coming right up until two weeks before hand....egads.0 -
Yeah...at that point, I basically said *kitten* it. It is what it is. We had people who RSVP'd and never showed up. I didn't worry about seating arrangements. Let people sit where they want! I honestly didn't want a big white wedding...my husband did. I wanted a destination wedding! So I made him help me on stuff. If my MIL tried to get into things I'd send him to deal with it.
As for the suit...can you rent one??0 -
No idea, we didn't want a big wedding with all the stress and cost. So, we went abroad with immediate family and a few friends was amazing!!
Good luck with it all.0 -
When things get to be overwhelming, get away for a couple of hours (1/2 to 2 hours). Go to the mall, treat yourself to a healthy mini meal at a restaurant, go to a museum. You get my drift. Don't answer your phone during this time. Take this time to decompress and do something for yourself that is relaxing. It's a stressful time, trying to put it together, but you'll see it will all work itself out at the end. BTW, can you delegate some of the things that need to get done to someone else? Remember, b-r-e-a-t-h! :flowerforyou:0
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No real advice - the last week before my wedding was the most stressful time of my life, and we had a very simple wedding too. I guess I would just say "You deal with it, whatever you think is best" as much as possible (MIL, finacee, everyone).
But know that it will all be fine, you will have a great time with the people you love and years from now that's all you'll remember.0 -
I'm no woman, and have no real say here....but when I married my Ex wife, my ex MIL did most of the planning, and execution. They hired a wedding planner for the rest of the details.
Was pretty painless for my EX, and I only had to show up.
When I married my current wife we invited a few friends and close family and that was it. Was SO much better=though the reception party my 1st time around was pretty fun.0 -
We sort-of eloped. We told everyone we were headed to Key West and got married down there. It was fabulous. My step son is getting married in two weeks. I feel badly for him because my sister-in-law is upset because her grandchildren aren't invited (they are both under 2 years old and it's not like they're going to miss it). She is making a huge deal out of it. Then, he's estranged from his mother, whom he hasn't spoken to in over two years. She's now angling for an invitation to the wedding. She's crazy, and while I see both sides of it (she is his mother, after all), after talking to him, I understand where he's coming from. He's not doing it to be vindictive. He loves his fiancee, and his mother is a wild card. You never know what you're going to get--whether she'll be gracious or horrible and throw a scene (she LOVES scenes). He said that he wants his fiancee to have the wedding she's dreamt of, and he doesn't want her to worry about anything. If he invites his mom, it becomes about his mom and everyone worries what she will do. The focus is then off of his fiancee and he doesn't want that. It was very grown up and honestly, thoughtful. He's said over and again that he doesn't care where or how they get married, he just wants to be married to her. She wants the wedding and he'll do whatever he can to support her.0
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No idea, we didn't want a big wedding with all the stress and cost. So, we went abroad with immediate family and a few friends was amazing!!
Good luck with it all.
Ours is very similar...getting married in my parent's back yard-my dad re-did the yard and planted flowers in our colors...so beautiful. It's very small too. I never wanted a huge wedding...but half of our guests aren't even coming
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That's the exact reason I only had 40 people at my wedding.
No advice, but good luck to you xo
LoL-we've only got 31...but mostly my mother-in-law to be is driving me crazy....she has been contacting me about the rehearsal dinner (which, technically, is not my job to plan) as well as re-arranging who is coming/not coming right up until two weeks before hand....egads.
Wow, I feel for you...good luck with the MIL.0 -
Don't do anything that is going to cause you more grief than necessary. No seating arrangements, don't freak about all of the little details, because in the end, YOU are the only person that will really notice. People go to a wedding to see you and your man get hitched, eat some good food, drink some free drinks, and dance. Nobody else cares if there is a seating arrangement, or if the napkins are ochre or cream...
Tell your MIL that you trust her judgement on the rehearsal dinner, and you really are too busy to be of any help to her.
Ask your fiancee to help out - assign him tasks you know he can complete and will be interested in doing.
Stop stressing, because it's bad for your complexion.
Things are going to go wrong. Don't panic. Keep an open mind about everything, because you don't know what is going to fall apart, get messed up, etc. Just remember - nobody but you knows what it was SUPPOSED to look/be like.
Remember, at the end of the day, what is truly important is that you are going to marry your partner. Everything else is just fluff.
Lastly, when it comes to a wedding, someone is going to get their feelings hurt at some point. Chances are at least a few people will have their feelings hurt. Don't waste time trying to keep everyone happy. Do what's right for you and let the chips fall where they may.
I just got married (for the second time) on June 9th. We hosted a classy but casual event in our backyard for about 50 people. It was the most beautiful party ever. There was a lot of sh|t that went wrong and didn't go exactly as planned, and I'm still very happily married.0 -
My MOH saved my brain. She took over after a certain point and I just auto-piloted through it. Never underestimate your bridesmaids!!0
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I had a similar experience, in the long run non of this will matter you will be married to someone you truly love and that is the happiness you want. The wedding day is the show for everyone, let some of the little things go or give them to someone you trust to handle. Remember to be present for your wedding, worrying about everything does not let you enjoy this wonderful moment. If you have a large wedding the chance is in 20 years most of these people wont be there to share in your daily routine, but your husband will. The people who will be there for you in 20 years will be there no matter what they are your family and truly only want the best for you.0
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I'd say the most important thing is to talk to your partner. I got married in May and organized everything myself including making the wedding cake and food for the wedding. If you really want to get his suite now go online and order one, pay for fast delivery and you can have it in a few days.
If people want to decide they aren't going then forget about them and if people are saying they want to move or aren't happy with where they are sitting tell them to sit where you put them because this is your big day. I had similar problems because I had a no kids policy and a few people kicked up a real fuss and then people didn't want to sit by other people but I just told them it's my wedding and you will sit where I tell you and if I've told you no kids then you can either respect my wishes or not come.
And when it comes to mother in laws I'd say pass the phone to your partner get him to talk to his mum, if your not organizing the rehearsal dinner then give her the contact number for the person who is. If she continues to call you then don't let the conversation continue and every time she mentions it you just say as 'I've told you 'such and such' is organizing it would you like the contact details again'
If there are any problems with caterers etc you can always do it yourself or organize someone else last min, rope your best friends into helping you with all the details or ask round other friends who have got married if they have any contacts from their wedding.
Enjoy your big day hun, it'll go faster than you can imagine and soon you'll be a mrs and settling into married life.0 -
It's wonderful how the happiest day of your life can be such a stress inducing mess, isn't it? It's been awhile since I went through all the wedding craziness (13 years) and we had lots of little things that would pop up, the largest being issues with our photography studio.
It got to the point where I just said I couldn't control everything, and as long as my husband was there, we were good, lol. TRY to relax, see if you can maybe schedule a little spa day or something for yourself just to relax. It did help me. As far as your soon to be husband and the suit...can he rent one from somewhere?
Good luck! There's lots of good advice here..it'll all work out in the end!0 -
Oh my I went through this last September. My MIL drove me BATTY. My bridesmaid was a HUGE help when I finally learned to delegate. Only 25% of our guest list RSVP'd and we still had a no-show. Our guests totaled 35.
Here is what kept my sanity (and my hubby's):
Designate 1 day each week to each other and NO mention of ANYTHING wedding related. Let emails go unchecked. Let phone calls go to voicemail and wait until the next day to return calls. You need a day to relax and enjoy each other. No wedding stuff allowed!
Learn to delegate to a bridesmaid, your Mom (mine was ZERO help), or your fiance. You cannot do it all and have to let some things go for your sake. We made a list of the most important things, and I eventually let others handle the things that were not as important. (And yes I know that it all is important to us!)
Plan A will be scrapped. Plan B will not work either. You will devise an excellent Plan C that EVERYONE else will think was the Plan A. I hated to hear this from people, but it has been true for our wedding: no one will notice when something goes wrong... except you.
It is SO overwhelming to plan something like this no matter the guest list size or event space. If you want any advice or opinions, please feel free to private message me. I have helped 2 other brides since my wedding, if for no other reason than to listen to a vent.
A year from now you will only remember the laughter, tears, and the love.0 -
Take a day and do nothing wedding. Don't even think about it. Calm yourself down. and then hopefully finalize what needs to be done the next day. No sense getting all worked up about it. You won't remember the details on that day anyway because hopefully you'll be focused on marrying your best friend. As for the seating arrangements... any additions should just be sat as fill ins due to the late replies. and the no shows... well there is nothing you can do about that.. so no sense in worrying about that either. As for the suit/tux, I would call the place you plan on using now just to make sure they have the availability.. you can usually send the company your measurements(necksize, arm length, etc.. ) and they can get the suit ready for your arrival. Wish you the best with your wedding. It'll be great. Don't stress about it.0
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Stop stressing, because it's bad for your complexion.
Things are going to go wrong. Don't panic. Keep an open mind about everything, because you don't know what is going to fall apart, get messed up, etc. Just remember - nobody but you knows what it was SUPPOSED to look/be like.
Remember, at the end of the day, what is truly important is that you are going to marry your partner. Everything else is just fluff.
All of it was good, but this is some of the best advice I've gotten in general since the wedding planning started. And you're right about the complexion. I got some great facewash that has it all under control, but I was getting concerned. Thanks for the kind and helpful advice!0 -
It's wonderful how the happiest day of your life can be such a stress inducing mess, isn't it? It's been awhile since I went through all the wedding craziness (13 years) and we had lots of little things that would pop up, the largest being issues with our photography studio.
Holy...what?! You were married thirteen years ago?! I wouldn't put you a day over 25!0 -
First take a deep breath..I promise everything will fall into place! Her's what you do:
1. Breath (most important)
2. Open a bottle of wine or beverage of choice
3. Make a list of things that are still not in place or things you are worried about
4. Grab your fiancee or best friend
5. Go thru each item and put in order of importance to you, (keep perspective that's why your fiancee or BF is there)
6. Realize you have this under control and make a plan for each item you have listed
7. Take a drink, kiss your fiancee and remember this is suppose to be fun and no one cares where they are going to sit and you have no control over who shows and who doesn't..Its YOUR day enjoy it!!!
8. CAll your MIL and tell her to handle the rehearsal dinner you would rather not be involved.
9. Finish the bottle, burn your list and get a good nights sleep
10. Wake up get your DIVA on and tell yourself "YOU GOT THIS"!!
Seriously, it will all fall into place, remember stress brings on break outs you don't want that!! (:
Have fun, congratulations and may God bring you many beautiful blessings on your new journey!!0 -
A lot of good advice here, I don't think I have too much to add. I tell my husband that I want another wedding all the time, but this time I would just relax and enjoy it all.0
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I called a priest and only invited our parents. It was wonderful and cost $75! Best wedding ever.0
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I called a priest and only invited our parents. It was wonderful and cost $75! Best wedding ever.
That's almost what we did. We actually got married by a husband/wife team called (and I'm not making this up) "Weddings to Go." She did the ceremony, he did the pictures. It was about $250, and we received a CD with our pictures at our hotel, along with a beautiful picnic basked with a customized bottle of champagne and dinnerware the very next day. We had a blast. My dress was $700 marked down to $64.99 (J. Crew). We drove around in a little red 3-wheeler convertible thing. And KWelvis (Key West Elvis) and his friend, who owns the Key Lime Pie Factory happened to see us wandering around, opened up the store, gave us key lime pie for our wedding cake, took pictures of us eating it, and sang for us. We danced all night at Sloppy Joe's, and went back to our B & B, where we watched the sun come up and listened to the roosters crowing. Zero stress. It was the best weddding ever.0 -
Vegas, baby! Picked a color, picked a menu, mailed invitations. Period. (Well, wrote a check... lol)0
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First take a deep breath..I promise everything will fall into place! Her's what you do:
1. Breath (most important)
2. Open a bottle of wine or beverage of choice
3. Make a list of things that are still not in place or things you are worried about
4. Grab your fiancee or best friend
5. Go thru each item and put in order of importance to you, (keep perspective that's why your fiancee or BF is there)
6. Realize you have this under control and make a plan for each item you have listed
7. Take a drink, kiss your fiancee and remember this is suppose to be fun and no one cares where they are going to sit and you have no control over who shows and who doesn't..Its YOUR day enjoy it!!!
8. CAll your MIL and tell her to handle the rehearsal dinner you would rather not be involved.
9. Finish the bottle, burn your list and get a good nights sleep
10. Wake up get your DIVA on and tell yourself "YOU GOT THIS"!!
Seriously, it will all fall into place, remember stress brings on break outs you don't want that!! (:
Have fun, congratulations and may God bring you many beautiful blessings on your new journey!!
^^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is your wedding day. it should be how you want it. things change last minute, tell someone to handle it for you. things are going to go wrong and just roll with the punches. the details of the wedding aren't what make a marriage. your marriage is the only thing that matters 0 -
i had issues with my mil too, she wanted to invite more people than we could afford. so i made my husband deal with that, he calmed his mom down, told her under no uncertain terms were we inviting more people.
then i gave her a job to do. i did the same with my mom. we had a lot of friends ask if they could do something, so i gave them jobs to do. it turned out to be a wonderful wedding, i didnt stress the last few weeks. and all our freinds and family that helped felt apart of the wedding. it was great. i just had to give up control over it. i set up the frame work and let everyone else fill it in.
ours wasnt huge but we had over 100 people there. and we had it on an aircraft carrier so the wedding an reception were in one place. made it much easier for everyone.0 -
Its only the first day of your marriage, I hope the day goes as best as possible, but if it doesn't, you'll have thousands and thousands of other days to share your joy with each other.0
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Take a bubble bath and have a couple of glasses of wine. It will all work out. I don't understand about waiting till the week of the wedding to get a suit though. That's cutting it quite close, especially if alterations are needed.0
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Wedding planning was one of the most stressful things I have ever done. The only thing that saved me was hiring a wedding planner. By the end, she knew what I wanted and I trusted her to take care of it. If you have the funds, I would recommend hiring one. They don't have to be expensive, especially with so little (comparatively) left to do.
I totally agree with the poster that said something will go wrong and you can't plan for it. During our ceremony, my about to be SIL passed out. In the middle. And her hair caught on fire from the candles on the ground. She was fine, her hair just slightly burnt. I never would have thought that the smartest thing I did was hire my mom's oncology nurse's band (mouthful) to play the wedding. After my SIL passed out, we had a nurse on hand to make sure she was OK!0 -
We threw a party with lots of snacks, open bar, a band, and got married in the middle of it. It was fun!0
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