Sad/rant

1a1a
1a1a Posts: 761 Member
in Chit-Chat
About 6 years ago I moved from the country to the city (which I love) and bright eyed and bushy tailed, I had a good solid crack at making friends.

Then uni got hectic and I disappeared and when I reemerged they were almost all gone.

The other day I noticed one who shared a mutual friend with me on facebook had gone so far as to de-friend me on that too. That should be meaningless in itself but I thought I put in a fair bet of energy trying to stay in touch with this individual just to have it thrown in my face. I opened up a line of communication querying this fact and was told:

"Well, the fact that you didn't know we weren't explains why. About two years ago I did a massive cull of people I hadn't interacted with in ages. Since I've been sick I needed a more manageable contact list, since I get overwhelmed really easily."


Maybe he's not the one to pick this fight with but this did hurt my feelings since I remember noticing when he cut me off and being upset by it, and upset by it now (we have 10 mutual facebook friends) and this is representative of a more persistant theme with everyone I've met in the city, it always feels like the friendship is one sided, I want to hang out with them, they are ambivelant about hanging out with me, I feel so ****ing superfluous to everyone's lives!

Replies

  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
    I always seemed to attract friends like this, where if I didn't call them or arrange to go do something with them it was like I didn't exist. I slowly culled those kind of people out of my life. I now have a small select group of friends who never make me feel like I am not worthwhile or that they don't want to spend time with me. It is better to have a small number of quality friends and know they are always there for you and vice versa.
  • blueandigo
    blueandigo Posts: 296
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  • 1a1a
    1a1a Posts: 761 Member
    If I cull the people who don't contact me there won't be anyone left (although I agree that's the solution, just a really lonely one).

    Being that I can fully relate, I'm glad you found some :-)
  • _Refried_
    _Refried_ Posts: 194
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  • abetterjune
    abetterjune Posts: 219
    When I move to Australia, we will hang out ALL the time. Especially in the beginning when I'm crashing on your living room sofa... Yeah!? As long as there's none of that iced coffee stuff around, that is. WHICH OMG I SAW SOMETHING CALLED "ICED COFFEE" AT THE STORE LAST WEEK!!!!!

    Seriously though, I have a similar affinity for "making" friends and feeling like it's mutual and finding out in benign ways that, in fact, it's not so much. Maybe you can join some "activities" or sports or "hobbies" to meet some "new" people. IDK, that sounds awfully cliche, right?

    Really, what I want to convey in this post is understanding, compassion, empathy, and love.

    LOVE YOU!!!!
  • Jaw_g
    Jaw_g Posts: 46
    I hear ya chick! I've unfortunately always had 'friends' like that too. and one of my best friends is still kinda like that with me. I moved 2 hours away from where my friends etc live to study, and it's been 3 and a half years and she still won't visit me even though i visit her :(

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