Food Obsession?

semira6

I'm worried my weight loss journey has messed with my head. I lost 42 lbs in the spring in time for a hawaiian vacation where I happily gained five pounds. I have been trying to get back down to my pre-vacation weight for over a month and a half now. Not only have I not succeeded, but I've gained weight. I cannot seem to control myself around food anymore. I eat a reasonable amount for breakfast and want to continue eating until I get that "full/satisfied" feeling instead of just fueling my body for the day.

This worries me because before this lifestyle change I really didn't care about food. I liked looking at it more than eating it and would have been perfectly happy eating through a feeding tube for the rest of my life. Now, it's all I think about. This kind of makes sense since I've been counting every calorie for 200 days and finally reached my life long goal weight, but now all I think about is what I can eat next -- even while currently eating. Needless to say, this thinking and behavior has led to several binges. I just don't know what to do. It is also possible that this is a form of self-sabotage (I have done similar things in the past in other aspects of my life) since I reached my goal, lost it and am scared I will not be able to reach it again or maintain this lifestyle. My willpower is gone. My hope is dwindling and I just don't know what to do. I

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

semira6

Anybody?

Railr0aderTony

Honestly, i think you need to talk to someone about this, and not an MFP fourm. I would say that food is not the problem but a short term solution that you picked instead of dealing with whatever is bothering you. I myself am a stress/worry Eater. Hope everything works out for you and you can deal with this. God Bless

ALH1981

thats awful hun - i would consider going to talk to someone about it - you can't live like that for the rest of your life? Is it possibly a control issue? is there something in your life the thou are trying to control and 'taking it out' on food?

billsica

do you work out?
drink more water?

I guess if you don't have the will power to do it, nothing anyone says on a forum will make much difference.

kimjoan

I just went through a similar situation (more long term than yours) and finally went to my doctor, suggest you do the same. My problem was I didn't have any energy and couldn't workout the way I needed to - found out I am Gluten intolerant and the change in diet is beginning to show results on the scale. Not saying that is your problem, am saying to go see your doc. : )

casi_ann

I'm sorry to hear you are having problems. I had the same thing happen to me multiple times. I was like you! Every time I would lose weight and get to goal I'd end up gaining it all back again and more. That is how I got to over 100 pounds over weight. You have to make yourself stop. Remember 21 days makes a habit. Get into the habit of eating within the calories needed to lose the weight again and when you get back to goal, only 6 pounds away, find out how many calories you need to stay there and follow through with this.

talonandtush

I have the same problem!
It is like a total food obsession. I can spend hours looking at recipes and foodblogs and constantly thinking of food. I'm not hungry but I'm often not satisfied. It was bad yesterday and I was full but I stil wanted to eat so I allowed myself to stuff myself with only healthy food- veggies and protein only- until I physically couldnt eat anymore....so sort of like a healthy binge?
I can also spend hours, from the end of breakfast, planning lunch, then get to the kitchen and suddenly want everything. It becomes overwhelming and I just end up stuck in the kitchen unable to make any decision for a long time. Then sometimes when I just choose the closest thing and make it and spend half teh time I'm eating it regretting the choice.
Don't even start me on foodcourts and resteraunts.

I can also get stuck in supermarkets. I can spend ages walking up and down looking for healthy food (or otherwise) and finding best prices and then waiting a while and talking myself out of it.

I used to buy chocolates because I wanted them and get home and I was not able to bring myself to eat them, to the point where I had a draw full of chocolates under my desk. It was almost like a collection and I was proud of it in some ways because it showed self control...

It has gotten better though with time. I deliberately chose to de-emphasie food in my life. WHen I realised I was thinking about it, I had to literally push the thought out of my head. I had a routine breakfast, same everyday, and started eating lunch with people- eating the same as them to eliminate the decision making.
Also when I started studing it was better. Being busy is a good distraction. Reading and running also helped.

Try listen to your body and not your mind as to weather you need to eat or not.
Part of it was some anxiety that I was missing out if I chose one thing and I wanted it all so as not to miss out. The only thing is to just choose what you really and actually want to eat.

Don't forget that 42lb is incredible! You have done that once and yes it was probably very hard, but you can easily lose a couple lb again if you ever have to. Noone notices a little holiday bloating under a slimming tan.

As for eating through a feeding tube- indulging and enjoying food is part of human culture since before even Roman times. It has been evolutionarily conserved and is probably a very complex survival mechanism. Sometimes cravings it just your body's way of telling you what it needs. Your body tells you 'what' and your mind says 'how much' and that is all the thinking about food you need to do

nxd10

A friend of mine studies the psychology/physiology of weight loss. You have done fantastically well. But the maintenance and not gaining it back is the hard part.

You have to - HAVE TO - just do it. Count the calories, stick to them. There's no other way. And you obviously can because you've done it before.

If you're binging the poster above is right. You need to see someone. That's not a diet problem, that's an eating problem.

cutiepie2628

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been going through this..I hope that you can find some kind of peace soon.

JenniferNoll

Hi, I'm new here. I read your post and see that we have some things in common. I have at times, sabotaged myself with weight, money, relationships, etc. I also deal with major depression disorder and PTSD. I have begun to see a therapist and have begun to see that my self-sabotage is due to the fear of success. It's like I am afraid of what will happen if I lose that weight, save that money, make my husband happy. I'm afraid to raise the bar for myself. Will I gain the weight back, plus more? Will I just have more expenses? Will I end up disappointing my husband?

Since I got help with my depression and anxiety issues, I'm beginning to find that it's okay for me to "win." I might not have control of the world around me, but I have control over my actions.

Maybe you should find someone you can talk to confidentially. A therapist, a friend, a doctor. It can only help.

semira6

Thank you all so much for your advice. I'm going to reevaluate a few things and let you know how it goes!

Logsv

do you work out?
drink more water?

I guess if you don't have the will power to do it, nothing anyone says on a forum will make much difference.

Lots of water! And make sure you aren't replacing water with soda or juice which will be full of empty calories. I add a splash of lemon juice to my water to give it a kick without extra sugar. Drinking water should help with the feeling of being "full"

semira6

Thanks for the tip about the lemon. I drink 10-15 cups of water a day and work out a total of ten hours a week.