To Confront Coworker or Not... ? (LONG STORY!)

iKapuniai

So... didn't really know who else to ask for advice, as my friends and family members are bias (my side, of course lol), so I thought I'd bring my issues to my fellow MFP's.

I've been working the same job for 2+ years and for the majority of that time, I've always been the "unofficial lead", meaning I'm the only full time employee, I'm the one that makes sure everything gets done, I fix the mistakes, I write the memo's to make sure policy is being upheld, all that jazz. A few months ago my manager brought in another employee from a different location (same company), who has been with the company about 3 or 4 years longer and knows policy inside and out (just as well as I do). Of course, because she's got seniority over me and the fact that she knows her *kitten*, my respect for her was instant.

I've asked multiple times whether she's been brought in as a replacement for a former employee, or if she's more like management status, and I've been told that she is NOT our boss and that her position is equal to the rest of us... however, it doesn't feel that way at all. I feel that since she started, everything we do has to be approved by her. And although they say she is "equal to the rest", she has the authorization to do some duties similar to management... so that right there tells me they're full of crap. They brought her in to keep us in line, to be our leader without actually giving her the title - they just can't tell me that because they know I'd be pissed because my manager, and my managers manager, and even my managers managers manager knows that *I* am on the management path for this particular property, and have been pretty much since I started.

Anyways, aside from that... the problem is I feel that she's been picking on me a bit and singling me out on things. Practically since I've started, I've been leaving notes for all the employees on updates, policies, issues that need to be taken care of - pretty much just reminders and making sure that everybody is on the same page. I've done that BEFORE she came, and just because she's here and does the same thing doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing what I've always been doing. But it seems that every time I leave a message for the rest of the staff, she has SOMETHING to say in regards to what I've said, and it just pisses me off to no end because it makes me look bad in front of the peers that *I* have been working with for over 2 years, not her.

I don't know if this is coming across as jealousy - but I assure you, that's far from it. I admire her. I respect her. I love having her here because she knows her stuff and that's exactly what we need - a strong staff that can handle the job and do it well. I'm not jealous, nor do I see her as competition - she doesn't even want to be in management, she just wants to be the best employee that she can be. Matter of fact, she's already been asked at her previous property if she'd like to be in management, and she turned it out. Which is probably a smart idea, considering the company is very stingy lol

Anyways... point is, I just feel that she's been picking on me and singling me out a lot since she started. At first I thought maybe she felt threatened? At her previous property, she was probably the lead... then she comes to this property and finds that I've been the lead since I started so maybe she has competition? I don't know. I don't know why she'd feel that way, cause if she wanted a management position, she could have it, easily. I, on the other hand, am still working on it. So I have NO idea why she feels she needs to pick on me. Then I was thinking maybe she's just showing tough love and trying to teach me? But I don't feel that way at all. I feel like I'm being belittled, like she MUST prove me wrong.

And whats worse is that EVERYBODY can see the comments we write. Whenever I write a note to the staff, its in our "Communication Log" - we don't work together and we rarely see each other except for when we're starting/ending our shifts, so this is how we communicate to make sure everyone knows what's going on. I don't EVER call ANYONE out in this log. I write GENERAL notes for EVERYBODY. If I need to leave a note for someone SPECIFICALLY, I'll write a note and stick it in their locker. This girl, on the other hand, just writes the note in the log for everyone to see. So now I feel everyone else may be questioning me, even though I know my *kitten* just as well.

It's just pissing me off.

I've avoided confronting her about it since the start because it just wastes too much energy (and it just pisses me off - I don't know if I can confront her in a nice way lol). I've just been ignoring it, because we rarely see each other... but it'll never stop that way, and she'll never know how uspetting it is for me.

What do yall think? Should I confront her about it, or just ignore it?

Sasssy69

Can you respond to HER note in your next note? Basically, do what she is doing? That's what I would do. She sounds passive-aggressive. And the best way to deal with passive aggressive people is to stand up to them and call them on their crap.

Stand up to her. If she's not your boss or supervisor, then this shouldn't be a problem.

This could also just be her way of doing things. You write general notes, but she writes more specific notes. If you are worried about your potential management status being hurt by her notes (in that she's doing a better job or she's contradicting you in hers), then adapt your notes.

If she is contradicting you in her notes, then leave a note addressing that, and then go talk to her.

ket_the_jet

My advice, Charles D!ckens, is to talk to her. It's that easy.
-wtk

Postscript: To the dear folks at MyFitnessPal: Apparently I cannot cite the name of a literary genius [although not a personal favorite] in your forums. This seems like something that needs your utmost attention.

Ocarina

Ugh! Sounds like no fun. I'm also the lead in my group of coworkers and it has its ups and downs. I'm basically the boss's biznatch and she'll call me on the weekend to do something she could be doing herself. I have a huge problem with NOT overcompensating but not doing enough at the same time.

I guess if someone came back... like it could happen to me. One lady might come back here that I basically replaced and I'm sure would want to have her domain again. I really think it's a matter of putting your foot down. Just confront her... it's a work related issue... tell her you feel like there is some type of conflict between you and her. And that you are confused as to why she's approaching you this way.

It's the only way to clear things up so that you can move on and find ways to be a better team with stronger cohesion. That's what will make you shine as you will be seen as someone who can work with the people they have instead of being unadaptable.

I hate office drama. I really do. And I hate when jobs run lives. But that is life. Good luck.

Fruch02

Didn't read it at all because it was too long, but you def should quit.

dinosnopro

I only skimmed, but it sounds to me like they brought her on as a supervisor. They are telling her and everyone else that she is an equal, because they don't want to pay her supervisor pay.