I know this has probably been said before....
afteil
Posts: 162 Member
I know this topic has probably been brought up before, but its on my brain...Does anyone else seriously struggle with their weight loss because of having absolutely no support system at home? It drives me crazy and makes me depressed that when I'm trying to make healthier choices and lose weight, that my husband and mother go to the store and bring home cookies and ice cream and donuts and offer them to me. And while I try to not eat things like that...sometimes I give in, which is probably why I'm as overweight as I am. With my husband it actually gets to the point where it seems like he is trying to stop me from losing weight: he gets mad when I ask him to make me something because he thinks it takes too much effort to make me something that would fit with my diet, and he has actually gone to the point of telling me that he doesn't want me to lose weight because if I lose weight and "get pretty" then I'll leave him for someone else (which of course makes me think that he thinks the only reason I'm with him is because I'm fat and can't get anyone better...which is completely wrong of course). It's just a topic that keeps going around..and one of the main reasons I gained back 20 lbs that I lost last year. I'm very motivated, and I want to do my best to help my family lose weight and get healthier too, but sometimes it is very very hard without having the support of the people you love the most.
Does anyone else struggle with things like that, or are trying to help their very resistant family get healthier too?
Does anyone else struggle with things like that, or are trying to help their very resistant family get healthier too?
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Replies
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Oy, I feel you on this one! In the past I'd no sooner talk about going on a diet and my husband would bring home a bag of oreos and plop them on the counter. Right in front of the cookie jar mind you. I honestly think he was trying to tempt me. To be fair, though, he does try to support me in other ways. But I think he is somewhat afraid of me getting thin, also. Not necessarily because I'll leave him, but because if I'm eating healthy, he will be too, lol.0
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I think I understand to an extent (as far as husbands go) My husband, I don't think has ever tried on purpose to foil me. He loves to cook and bake so he makes homemade donuts, pie, cakes, baklava, etc a few times a month. But he never shoves it in my face or expects me to eat it. I will have a small portion if my macros allow it, if not, no big deal. He is, for the most part, supportive. When we were in our early twenties, I think me being smaller/not overweight was sort of a threat and he was a somewhat jealous & suspicious guy thinking someone might "steal" me away. After I had (his) kids and gained weight, he was no longer like that. I don't think he is threatened any longer now because we've been married over 11 years, been through several 6-12m deployments, 2 deaths in the family, etc (essentially thick and thin) I think he realizes that if I don't do this for myself, he will lose me to death just like my dad lost my mom to poor eating habits and bad lifestyle choices. My mom was only 43 when she died.
I do understand how family can try to manipulate you. Back when my son was born, even before he was born, I decided I would breastfeed. Everyone (except my husband) thought it was a terrible and gross idea and tried to sway me to formula. None so much as my mom. My husband was deployed when I had my son, so I had my mom come stay with me so I wouldn't be alone. Even after my son was born, my mom would tell me to get wic and get formula. She even went so far as to buy baby bottles and bring them home. She wouldn't be around me while I was nursing her grandson. It was hurtful, believe me, but I knew what was right and I continued breastfeeding my son til he was about 2 1/2 y/o (he self weaned himself at that point)
I know I sort of wrote a novel (lol) but bottom line if you know what you need to be doing for yourself, your well-being, etc. Don't let the naysayers ruin your goals. Stay strong and be true to yourself0 -
.... telling me that he doesn't want me to lose weight because if I lose weight and "get pretty" then I'll leave him for someone else (which of course makes me think that he thinks the only reason I'm with him is because I'm fat and can't get anyone better..
this is pretty common and i would assume is the real reason why he's sabotaging you. you should address them with him unless of course you do plan on replacing him with a shinier hubby after you get hot.0
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