Are Manners a Thing of the Past?

24

Replies

  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,338 Member
    In our individualistic society, yes it is odd that they feel freely compelled to do so.

    But I believe we should be living more communally so I don't see it as a bad thing. If it were my tree I would be open to anyone taking from it, especially to feed their children.

    In a society where we have these strong ideas of ownership and property (ideas not shared in other parts of the world mind you) I can understand why it would make you uncomfortable. However, they are not harming you or anyone else, they are using resources you aren't using all of, and they are even trying to care for your tree (perhaps poorly). Your feelings are just of violation based on this idea of private property. So I would encourage you to have a generous heart and allow them to continue. Or at the very least have a discussion with them. I certainly would not cut down trees over this.
  • jsherrill92
    jsherrill92 Posts: 775 Member
    This would definitely not fly at my Uncle Chuck's house. That man owns too many guns.
  • PhotogNerd
    PhotogNerd Posts: 420 Member
    Can you say trespassing? You need to obviously say something or have an officer convey the message for you.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,338 Member
    all these "call the cops" responses are a little disturbing
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,715 Member
    that right there is why i live in the country!!
    people dont just come up in your yard where i live they come up and have to common courtisy to knock on the door..
    especially since i live alone and im not afraid to be that crazy with the gun..
    i wouldnt really shoot nobody,i would shoot in the air..haha,that'll teach em!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 11,760 Member
    The pruning thing is a bit bizarre. Pruning isn't something most folks know how to do. I wonder if they believe they're going you a favour by doing so and are really just trying to be neighbour? Could they be that oblivious?

    Discuss the situation with your husband but don't push dealing with it onto him. My wife (soon to be ex-wife) was always dumping these kind of situations onto me. It's one of the reasons why we're going to be splitting.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 11,760 Member
    all these "call the cops" responses are a little disturbing
    Agreed.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,252 Member
    I would let them know it isn't ok for them to just come into your yard without permission. Maybe put up a no trespassing sign...

    This. Talk to them first, put up a sign. If they continue to come into your yard without permission after that, then think about calling the police.
  • SteffieMark
    SteffieMark Posts: 1,726 Member
    In our individualistic society, yes it is odd that they feel freely compelled to do so.

    But I believe we should be living more communally so I don't see it as a bad thing. If it were my tree I would be open to anyone taking from it, especially to feed their children.

    In a society where we have these strong ideas of ownership and property (ideas not shared in other parts of the world mind you) I can understand why it would make you uncomfortable. However, they are not harming you or anyone else, they are using resources you aren't using all of, and they are even trying to care for your tree (perhaps poorly). Your feelings are just of violation based on this idea of private property. So I would encourage you to have a generous heart and allow them to continue. Or at the very least have a discussion with them. I certainly would not cut down trees over this.

    I honestly would not care if they took them all, it has nothing at all to do with them taking my property. I just do not like strangers hanging in my yard and not saying anything. It makes me uneasy and I would just prefer to be asked or at the very least, advised they were doing something.

    And, I won't call the cops about it. I will have my husband politely ask them to please let us know when they want to come into our yard and get pears. Everyone else has always asked. They have some beautiful roses in their yard. Would I just go pick them because I wanted them? No. I wouldn't even go in their yard without speaking to them first.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    all these "call the cops" responses are a little disturbing

    It should be a last resort. But if they won't listen to you, what else can you do?
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
    *Deleted bc OP posted what I was going to
  • issyfit
    issyfit Posts: 1,077 Member
    Hey Steffie--let me know when your pears are ripe I'll come pick some but will ask first. :) Any chance your neighbors were raised in a different culture where that is acceptable behaviour? We live next door to a mountain bike park and get people cutting through our property sometimes, and even parking in our pasture. If I see them I always remind them that this is private property and to please use the park entrance next time.
  • Pepper2185
    Pepper2185 Posts: 994 Member
    I think you should say something to them (they are definitely crossing neighbourly boundaries).

    Something along the lines of "I've noticed that you are interested in the fruit from my trees. When I pick it, I'll definitely bring some over to you"

    When you pick it, send them over a bag. It might keep them from coming over and harvesting themselves.
  • SteffieMark
    SteffieMark Posts: 1,726 Member
    Liz, I would be happy for you to come take all you like when they are ready. And yes, they were definitely raised in a different culture.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    I think the poster I wanted to quote got deleted, but I will say what she said, that is about PRIVATE property.

    I think the idea posted about picking a bag and bringing them over is great. I agree that I don't want people in my yard, especially people I'm clearly not friendly with.

    But if they hop your fence to get at your cherries, that is terrible. No excuse for that.
  • dfair1967
    dfair1967 Posts: 91
    Politely ask them why they are just going into your yard and ask them not to without asking permission.Better you then me because I would told them to get the hell out of my yard and stay out or I would physically remove them next time. What i wrong with these rude people.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,330 Member
    wow yeah that's rude. we had fruits trees in our backyard and sometimes neighbors would try and sneak and get some. you know what my mom did? turned the hose on and sprayed them with water.. same as she did with the rabbits who tried to eat her flowers. she trid telling them to ask first but when they wouldnt comply, they got treated like any of the other wild animals caught digging up her garden. after getting sprayed mercilessly they never returned :laugh:

    it's one thing to ask but it's another to just come over and take. i'd hose them down and remind them that you dont live on a freaking commune. of course my mom's reaction was that it has nothing to do with the fruit, but qui vole un oeuf, vole un boeuf (translation someone who'd steal an egg would also steal a cow). so people helping themselves to your fruit can very easily end up with then helping themselves to anything else you leave outside.


    so yeah, hose them down. even if they do have their baby with them :laugh:
  • Next time call the police. because who knows the next time they could be in your house.
  • weevil66
    weevil66 Posts: 600 Member
    If it were me then ai would ptobably have a chat withbthem and ask them to let you know when they wanted to pick sone fruit etc. They may not realize that they aee being rude.
  • meeka472
    meeka472 Posts: 289 Member
    I had a next door neighbor that did something similar when I lived in Oklahoma. Except my neighbor picked the figs off my tree and then came and knocked on my door with a bag full of them (eating them by the way) to complain about another tree that did not extend to their property. Like you, I didn't know what to say to them.