"anorexic arms, thick thighs"
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Monique, sometimes genetics is the biggest factor in how you are shaped. YOUR SHAPE is gorgeous. You have a nice bottom that looks appealing to most men. You can still rock a bathing suit (bikini). The pooch is just evidence that you are a real woman that eats. Not a rabbit eating only lettuce or vomiting to stay a size zero after binge eating. ANOTHER thing, work on your attitude and gain a little *****y self confidence so that you can zing these *kitten* that say stupid stuff to you and think they can get away with it. YOU LOOK GOOD GIRL.0
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To quote Loudon Wainwright III:
"You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't"
We are born with certain body types. We can work with the "raw material" and try to get it looking as good as possible, but your basic body profile is something that you can't change. You can get as lean and "toned" as you can, but if you have a body type that has a waist and thighs that are disproportionate to the upper body, that profile will still exist.
Now you mentioned a couple of times that you were "thinking about toning up". If you aren't doing a lot of resistance work, then that would definitely be something I would encourage. I think you would be a good candidate for some higher-intensity, circuit-type programs.0 -
looking at your pics I don't really see a problem, you have a very nice body. I think the real problem is the people you are hanging around. Who would want to hang out with people that talk to others like that? Get rid of the superficial A-holes and tell the guys where to shove it. You can't change some things about your body, but you can change your confidence with it, and confidence is always sexy.
Also, squats and lunges, squats and lunges, squats and lunges...........if anything will help they will, but be aware you are who you are and there is only so much you can do.0 -
It sounds like those guys have been listening to those player-type dating experts that tell men to reel 'em in by making women feel insecure. Ignore them and hand with people with a bit more respect for others.
^^This. I don't know why these idiots think making women feel lousy about their bodies is going to make them want to get naked?
But, my arms were quite stick like and I had thicker thighs. I recomend strengh training not just for your arms but your whole body, It will give definition to your arms, tone your legs, and help with your stomach.0 -
I am built just like that, a full size smaller on top than on bottom. There's not a lot you can do to change your shape. I know you do plenty of cardio, maybe try doing some more weight lifting to get your arms and shoulders a bit bigger, and look more proportionate. Lifting weights will tone up your core as well.
I know you just want exercise advise, but I've so been there done that with guys that are @#$-holes. Please don't waste your time, you'll never be "good enough" to please people like that. I wasted a lot of years being miserable and hearing those comments about myself. Now I'm married to a wonderful guy who saw me gain 60 pounds during pregnancy and never once made me feel anything but beautiful. But first thing is to decide you are worth it, and not seek approval from others about your appearance. :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh, I hate that for you. I really do. And I know exactly how that feels. It's not a confidence booster that's for sure. The people that said all that about you obviously have some issues of their own to be so deprived as to down-play your beauty and fabulous body. I looked at your photos and saw a very beautiful woman. I don't see anything wrong with you at all. Be confident in who you are and how you look. It may not change how they see you, but when you're confident in yourself none of that matters. What's most important is that you love you.0
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Back off the cardio and lift some weights. Give your body a reason to burn fat, not hang onto it. Female store their fat on the hips, butt, and thighs. That is just how it is (belly fat is visceral fat and comes from eating a lot of carbs, not fat - fat is actually very, very important on a female body - we are fetus bearing organisms. This is why it won't let go of it so easily).
That's what cardio does (makes you 'skinny-fat'. Skinny without a lot of lean muscle mass but still plenty of fat mass):
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/chronic-cardio/
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/case-against-cardio/
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/chronic-cardio-2/
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/search-results/?cx=004987908667488763946:kd-fp2c7jek&cof=FORID:11&ie=UTF-8&q=chronic+cardio (This is the entire search results)
You won't bulk up lifting weights. Women need testosterone to do that and we just don't make enough of it.
(I dropped 10lb doing the low-calorie, low-fat, whole-grain thing. Then I started Primal Blueprint. I dropped another 12lb and saw numbers I haven't seen since before puberty (108-110lbs!!!). I've always had a belly and that was gone in a month (dropped 4"-5" off my natural waistline). I went from a size 6-8 (I had dropped weight before Primal) down to a size 2. I have maintained this for more than a year now with very little exercise, not counting calories or weighing foods - I monitor my carb intake - quantity AND quality). There is a lot you can do to change your shape.
Now this is just my N=1. But that's how it should be for all of us. N=1. The Standard American Diet and the USDA guidelines will ensure I become diabetic. It's a high sugar-equivalent diet and my body doesn't do sugar very well. Meanwhile, I fight to stay above 110lbs by getting about 70% of my daily calories from FAT (coconut oil, butter, olive oil, eggs, animals, avocado oil, dark chocolate, coconut milk, heavy cream in my coffee!!)
Body composition is about 80% diet. The other 20% is a combo of exercise and genetics.
Other than that...who the hell cares what anyone else thinks about you!!!!!! There is only one person on this earth whose opinion should matter to you and that is the person in the mirror!!!!!
Some reading for females that will make you all feel like lionnesses!!
http://www.paleoforwomen.com/the-evolutionary-perspective-liberating-and-empowering-a-womans-self-hood/. (She's got some great uplifting articles for us women)
"...A paleo diet (though not a specific diet, but rather the TEMPLATE in which to experiment and exist) is the only cure, really, to the disconnect that has emerged between a woman and the natural programming of her body..."
http://www.paleoforwomen.com/self-love-and-weight-loss/
http://www.paleoforwomen.com/women-losing-weight-how-im-a-liar-and-in-why-its-actually-hard-as-hell/0 -
I think pear-shaped women are beautiful. You just need to boost that confidence of yours, Miss Lady. Like others have posted, make yourself happy and try not to let the opinions of others get you down. I'm guilty of worrying about what others think as well. But at the end of the day, you are in your body and you are in your mind. Learn to be comfortable in both.0
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And I think you're beautiful.0
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Seeing as how you are absolutely beautiful, I think you need to not give a darn. That said, we all lose/gain weight in different places, and if you want more shapely arms, you will have to make them at the gym.0
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To quote Loudon Wainwright III:
"You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't"
That was John Prine. Did Louden cover it?0 -
Thanks, but my concern here, really, is to find those exercises that slim thighs and firm stomachs. I had planned on toning up anyway, maybe I should have left out the back story that kind of made me even more determined to do so.
i think we have the same frame type. i don't have a lot of pics up. but i have a small frame (125 is a heavy weight for me), but i've always had what my friends call a "ghetto booty" and what the females in my family refer to as "thunder thighs" - as it's apparently genetic. In addition, i've had a "pooch" since like 7th grade.
i have been a gym goer for the last 5 yrs, doing everything from personal trainers to hard core running and while it's made a difference, it's never long term & my mid section always feels "thick"
the only thing i've found that has mad a noticeable difference, in the mirror & in the measuring tape - is the combo of strength training, cardio & a healthy diet. I eat at a defiecit - so as not to gain muscle (and bulk up), i do strength train 4x a wk and i do cardio of some sort (including ab specific stuff) just as much. in the last month 1/2, i've seen lines in my stomach - my pooch is not gone, but it's flattening out, definition in my arms - which don't look pathetic & skinny any more & my butt and thighs have actually trimmed down; my but has raised and my thighs don't rub together anymore.
b/c my butt & thighs aren't exactly where i want them, i'm going to continue my calorie deficet for a few more wks and once i get my goal results in my lower body, i'm going to start eating higher calories to bulk up my abs a bit, then i'll work on maintaining - but strength training really seems to be the first way i've found to even out my body...0 -
Thanks, but my concern here, really, is to find those exercises that slim thighs and firm stomachs. I had planned on toning up anyway, maybe I should have left out the back story that kind of made me even more determined to do so.
You can't "spot reduce" unfortunately. I'm a pear too, I would love for this to be true.
All you can do is reduce your body fat & exercise. Some will clainm the "magic bullet" is running, others will claim it's spinning, and others will claim it barre exercises (like ballet) ..... there is no ONE exact solution.
Find an exercise you enjoy - firm up what you've got and move on. It will get better. Don't obsess over it (that's what I keep telling myself anyway).0 -
You look pretty awesome to me. Can't see your legs much but I am going to guess your genetics dictate that you last spots of fat storage are there and tummy. You are on the right track wanting to start stregth training. It is the one form of exercise that is critical to body recomp and changing your appearance. I would suggest heavy lifting while eating slightly below whatever your maintenance becomes when you do it. Cardio optional. You should get some noob gains on muscle while still losing body fat and in the end look much better along with becoming a good deal stronger. This is explained in more detail in the link I will post below. You do not need to work your abs directly at this point. Squats and deadlifts will work them quite nicely. Check this out http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=1465193030
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I know you didn't want to turn this into a pity-thread with everyone telling you that you look fine the way you are. You are over-analyzing, as all of us do.
1) Don't assume that this said guy shares the views of everyone else, b/c I doubt he does.
2) Strength-training would help you more than anything, to answer your original question.
3) When your friend commented on your shoulder-blades, she lost all credibility in my mind.0 -
To quote Loudon Wainwright III:
"You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't"
That was John Prine. Did Louden cover it?
Damn you, Internet! You can't get away with nuttin'......
You know, I still know every word to the damn song, but forgot the singer. That has to be indicative of some type of encroaching senility......:grumble:
I guess you're going to say that Woody Guthrie didn't do "Alice's Restaurant" either.......0 -
why are you spending time with these morons, or letting them even remotely influence how you think or feel about yourself? What idiots!
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Ok, so this last friday I went out to a bar with a friend of mine I haven't seen in awhile. I was excited to see her and show her my progress until she started putting me down. I had told her that I wanted to firm my stomach and she agreed I should. Then she went off on me about how my arms, chest, and shoulders look anorexic. *sigh* later that night, guy my friend had been talking to came over and summed the three of us up in 3 words. He pointed to one friend and said "you're angry", to my other friend "you're.sexy", and to me, "you're Serena Williams" I was like WHAT?! His friend explained quickly, "because you got them thick thighs" UGH! Later on that night some guy told me I wasn't his type because I'm too skinny. I know everyone has their own type, but I felt beat up on the whole night! How do I slim my thighs to be more proportionate to my upper body? I do cardio, do I continue with it? I'm going to start strength training with my arms. what can I do to also firm my stomach? please help! I skipped the gym 2 days in a row because I just felt like I was screwing up...
I would love to be called Serena Williams. Strong, sexy, confident, athletic0 -
Ok I'm going to try this "planking" is there anyway to do squats with machines? Lol free weights scare me. Dead lifts are what I injured my arm doing. I didn't have much weight on the bar but I also hadn't started the protein shakes and.was eating under 800 cal a day0
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The only thing out of proportion here is your self-confidence.
Maybe stop seeking the approval of drunk idiots?
this.
Yep, that.
It sounds, too, like those guys were following the horrible advice of self-proclaimed "pick up artists" where they try to knock a pretty girl down a peg so they might have a shot with her. :grumble:0 -
The only thing out of proportion here is your self-confidence.
This ^^
I would kill to look like you... I kill myself every day trying to get there. Your friends and my friends are very different. Every week or so, my best friend tells me about all the changes she's noticing (the positive stuff). She wouldn't go and point out the bad stuff like that. Even when I ask for her honest opinion, she is delicate, because self-esteem is such a fragile thing when you are trying to change your appearance.
I think you should surround yourself with more people like that. You're not going to get anywhere with people like that in your life. I've seen too many people fail, even on this website, because their parent/spouse/SO/sister/etc said that they were less than perfect and they gave up. Don't be one of them (by letting someone's opinion of you dictate your actions).0 -
I've always had thighs, even now with my toning up they seem to be mostly muscle anyway and I dont plan on loosing them. I also saw your pictures..there is one thing I want to say...I want my body to be like yours! Dont be ashamed of the thighs, smaller arms, or anything like that. you seem like a wonderful person that has worked hard. Dont pay any mind to buzzed people who dont understand what your going through. Just do you and everything else will be fine
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Hollywood has women (and men) all screwed up in the head about how a female/male is SUPPOSED to look. Relying on that view is why half the people on this site have body image issues.
PEOPLE GET OVER IT. Hollywood DOESN'T care about you. Achieve what you can with the genetics you have.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Yeahhh, I would not put too much stock in their comments... sounds like they either drank too much and let their stupids show, or they are just very jealous, cuz damn girl, you fine. :drinker:0
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Hollywood has women (and men) all screwed up in the head about how a female/male is SUPPOSED to look. Relying on that view is why half the people on this site have body image issues.
PEOPLE GET OVER IT. Hollywood DOESN'T care about you. Achieve what you can with the genetics you have.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
A lot of the issues here are what you've stated, but the reason why people are going for a failed non-existant model of what folks should look like is because folks don't like themselves. Learn to love yourself no matter what body you are living in. Your body is only the house you live in, it ain't who you are.0 -
Ug. You friends sound like jerks., so first step, get new friends.
Second step, get into heavy weight training. This is exactly what my body does, lose all fat from the upper making it too lean for my tastes, while my thighs are too fat for my tastes. I've tried to combat this but building muscle in my upper body. And even though I still have fat on my abs the muscles are big enough that they show through.
Third step. Try to learn to love yourself for who you are. You aren't perfect. You are you. Your body is determined by your genetic code. It's healthy, it's sexy, it's pretty, it's you. Screw anyone who doesn't like it. If you like it, that's all that matter.0 -
You are far too old to be worrying about what drunk people in a bar have to say about your body. Really, why would you even listen to the words of someone who referred to parts of you as 'anorexic'?? That's not even okay in any stretch of the word.
Seek self-approval, and fruck everyone else.0 -
Ok I'm going to try this "planking" is there anyway to do squats with machines? Lol free weights scare me. Dead lifts are what I injured my arm doing. I didn't have much weight on the bar but I also hadn't started the protein shakes and.was eating under 800 cal a day
we have an assisted bar (it's connected to cables) that i do weighted squats on at our gym. Otherwise, there's another machine that is a free weight machine - goes over your shoulders & you have a lever you can adjust how far down you want to go & you can adj your leg posistions...0 -
Just gotta say that when people get drunk, you see true feelings and persona.
Should be a clue.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Girl!!!! Sarena Williams is the BOMB!! I WISH I had her shape. I guess body image is depending on the culture you were raised in because in mine, some ladies and men think she need some meat on her! LOL0
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