Batman Obviously Has Superpowers (Spoiler Alert!)

IAmMadeOfMeat

If you've seen The Dark Knight Rises, then you know that there's some serious mysticism at work in that movie.

How could Batman--a mere man!--spend 4 months with a broken spine being fed only enough green sludge to be "kept alive" retain all of his muscle mass and nutrition, train up with some pushups and pullups in less than 30 days, and be fully healed and as strong as Bane? After suffering a broken spine (something that causes most men paralysis) that apparently fully heals in those 4 months?

After this miraculous recovery and super-Saiyan-like surge in strength, Batman teleports back into Gotham City undetected, despite having no access to his money (at which point, all his assets had been seized anyway), and finds Anne "Holy **** cat suit" Hathaway on the one side-street she happened to have been on in all of Manhattan, with less than a day left before the bomb is about to blow. And still finds time to set up a fiery bat symbol, because Batman's internal clock loves to cut things as close as possible (it turns out Bruce Wayne is a big fan of Iron Man and was inspired by the last scene in The Avengers).

Comic book fans will tell you that Batman's "superpower" is that he has utmost preparedness. You could say that he had fully researched Bane's special move (the ole "lift you over my head and then bring you down on my knee, pulverizing your spine" routine) and had prepared for it by augmenting his spine with a special "re-aligning" device similar to the little knee gadget he employed earlier. You could also say that he had a backup Batman suit that augmented his abilities and made him even more like his favorite superhero, Iron Man, and that's how he was able to keep up with Bane, even though he should have been as mobile as Stephen Hawking at this point. TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE.

But I have an alternate theory. I believe that Batman is in fact superhuman, after all.

I believe that Batman is MAGIC.

I also believe that everything in Christian Bale's early career was just Batman origin story. The Newsies is where he learned the streets of Manhattan so well, obviously.

PROVE ME WRONG

For reference, here's the almost-final scene of The Dark Knight Rises:

jonwv

If you've seen The Dark Knight Rises, then you know that there's some serious mysticism at work in that movie.

How could Batman--a mere man!--spend 4 months with a broken spine being fed only enough green sludge to be "kept alive" retain all of his muscle mass and nutrition, train up with some pushups and pullups in less than 30 days, and be fully healed and as strong as Bale? After suffering a broken spine (something that causes most men paralysis) that apparently fully heals in those 4 months?

After this miraculous recovery and super-Saiyan-like surge in strength, Batman teleports back into Gotham City undetected, despite having no access to his money (at which point, all his assets had been seized anyway), and finds Anne "Holy **** cat suit" Hathaway on the one side-street she happened to have been on in all of Manhattan, with less than a day left before the bomb is about to blow. And still finds time to set up a fiery cat symbol, because Batman's internal clock loves to cut things as close as possible (it turns out Bruce Wayne is a big fan of Iron Man and was inspired by the last scene in The Avengers).

Comic book fans will tell you that Batman's "superpower" is that he has utmost preparedness. You could say that he had fully researched Bane's special move (the ole "lift you over my head and then bring you down on my knee, pulverizing your spine" routine) and had prepared for it by augmenting his spine with a special "re-aligning" device similar to the little knee gadget he employed earlier. You could also say that he had a backup Batman suit that augmented his abilities and made him even more like his favorite superhero, Iron Man, and that's how he was able to keep up with Bane, even though he should have been as mobile as Stephen Hawking at this point. TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE.

But I have an alternate theory. I believe that Batman is in fact superhuman, after all.

I believe that Batman is MAGIC.

I also believe that everything in Christian Bale's early career was just Batman origin story. The Newsies is where he learned the streets of Manhattan so well, obviously.

PROVE ME WRONG

Well Said

smaugish

1 flaw in your otherwise fully entertaining argument:

They explained the spinal injury as a vertebrae displacement.

Still no way he could have recovered in that amount of time, with that much of a nutrient deficiency, but it's a little MORE explainable than if he had genuinely snapped his spine.

Although the movements he was making when Bane sat him down pretty much suggested it was less a breakage, more of a dislocation.

MattTheWaterRat

Batman doesn't have superpowers because the movies are NOT canon. Hollywood almost always takes artistic license with comic book movies. If you really want closure, think of Chris Nolan's Batman as a Batman from an alternate universe.

KitchenAbs

*applauds*

I thought I was the only one going 0.o

xarge

How could Batman--a mere man!--spend 4 months with a broken spine being fed only enough green sludge to be "kept alive" retain all of his muscle mass and nutrition, train up with some pushups and pullups in less than 30 days, and be fully healed and as strong as Bale? After suffering a broken spine (something that causes most men paralysis) that apparently fully heals in those 4 months?

While Alfred told the story of the prison, he said that it belonged to an ancient civilization so a) You may ignore what happened there and take it as something supernatural. or b) Hear the doctor in the prison while he says that it's a dislocated spinal disc, not a broken spine. His spine was broken in the comic books, though.

After this miraculous recovery and super-Saiyan-like surge in strength, Batman teleports back into Gotham City undetected, despite having no access to his money (at which point, all his assets had been seized anyway), and finds Anne "Holy **** cat suit" Hathaway on the one side-street she happened to have been on in all of Manhattan, with less than a day left before the bomb is about to blow. And still finds time to set up a fiery cat symbol, because Batman's internal clock loves to cut things as close as possible (it turns out Bruce Wayne is a big fan of Iron Man and was inspired by the last scene in The Avengers).

We never see how Batman goes to somewhere, he just appears so... Seriously? If you want an explanation, the tunnel block Selina blew up previously had a lot of opening for a man like Batman to move through. He also has a lot of contacts around the world so 'can you give me a lift to Gotham?' isn't too illogical. As for appearing in front of Catwoman, boy and apple scene, she said that it's her neighborhood. So no wonder he can appear there and find her.

I agree about the bridge, though but fiery cat? It's a bat The moment the cliché ending started, I kinda disliked it but the happy ending and how everyone's inner conflicts were resolved, it didn't bother me much. Yes, still it's cliché but that's super hero cliché, it's not about Iron Man. Superman did it a million times before Tony.

ElizabethRoad

Batman doesn't have superpowers because the movies are NOT canon. Hollywood almost always takes artistic license with comic book movies. If you really want closure, think of Chris Nolan's Batman as a Batman from an alternate universe.

Pretty sure we're talking about the movies here, so your argument doesn't make a lot of sense.

IAmMadeOfMeat

Also, who needs cartilage in your wrists and knee when you have WILLPOWER?



This safely rules out the "Batman is part-shark theory" that no one posited, ever. BUT IF THEY HAD! My sound logic wins again. Batman's magic transcends mere shark-person-hood.

Alright, so if we downgrade the severity of Batman's injury, it's still implied that his recovery leaves him with less than a month to re-invigorate on a green sludge diet and gain enough strength to punch out Bane. But in all fairness, Christian Bale gained EIGHTY POUNDS of muscle in just 4 months between the Machinist and Batman Begins, so I'm not ruling out mystical prison steroids.

MattTheWaterRat

Batman doesn't have superpowers because the movies are NOT canon. Hollywood almost always takes artistic license with comic book movies. If you really want closure, think of Chris Nolan's Batman as a Batman from an alternate universe.

Pretty sure we're talking about the movies here, so your argument doesn't make a lot of sense.

Are you sure that you read what I said? Movies are NOT canon. Movies don't count. Batman doesn't have any superpowers.