Unsupportive Family

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NoahandPresleysMom
NoahandPresleysMom Posts: 763 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone else have unsupportive family?? My mom seems to want to keep me this way. She keeps trying to make me eat bad food(that shes not even suppose to eat, shes diabetic, high BP and has MAJOR swelling from sodium intake. She keeps trying to tell me I'm "meant to be this way" and my favorite part is when she says"You need sugar and salt" like its actually a nutrient. She sees me post on facebook that I'm excited about the weight I'm losing and she makes stupid comments like well if there's ever a famine you'll be the first to die. I know me being this way is her fault, teaching us very poor eating habits growing up which I am changing and teaching my babies much better. My dad keeps telling my husband "Don't let her lose too much more weight". WTF????? They both feed ,y 3 year old horrible horrible food. Like my mom bought a 5 lb jug of cheez balls and let my son eat every damn one of them in ONE DAY. She no longer babysits. It's very hard when you have no supportive family. I have an AMAZINGLY supportive husband, but the family not so much!
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Replies

  • carmie12345
    carmie12345 Posts: 30
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    WOW. That's horrible. I bet the changes you have been making for a healthy lifestyle and seeing that it works have been making them feel guilty and insecure about there own poor choices. Are they bigger? If so they probably have it in their minds that they're just naturally big people and they're not responsible for their weight problems. But here you are showing them that they have been living in denial. I think you can be the role model here. Maybe through your success they will wake up and start making healthy choices of there own.

    ROCK ON
  • leilaphoenix
    leilaphoenix Posts: 839 Member
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    All you can do is be a role model and hope that some of it rubs off on them. This is your journey and while you can hope to inspire the others around you, you need to focus on yourself. I've been lucky enough to be around supportive (if slightly confused by my constant barcode snapping) people. However, 2 years down the line on MFP and I appear to have inspired by fiancee to start running. That is something I never thought I'd see and a happy by-product of my own progress.

    Concentrate on your own journey and hope that the people you care about can get over any jealousy and come along for the ride.

    (She does have a point about salt. We do need it and it is important but there is so much salt in most people's diet that getting enough salt is not a problem and most of us eat too much of it)
  • julialla
    julialla Posts: 232 Member
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    Get this; my mom told me she weighed as much as I do now (I'm 18) when she was 7 months pregnant with me. Gee, thanks for letting me know mom :) So I totally feel for you, even though it's different directions. So stay strong, you can do it :)
  • LauraRN88
    LauraRN88 Posts: 46
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    My mum is the same. The other day she said to me ''no offence Laura but you're never going to be a size eight''. Thanks mum! grrrr
  • NoahandPresleysMom
    NoahandPresleysMom Posts: 763 Member
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    WOW. That's horrible. I bet the changes you have been making for a healthy lifestyle and seeing that it works have been making them feel guilty and insecure about there own poor choices. Are they bigger? If so they probably have it in their minds that they're just naturally big people and they're not responsible for their weight problems. But here you are showing them that they have been living in denial. I think you can be the role model here. Maybe through your success they will wake up and start making healthy choices of there own.

    ROCK ON

    my mom is biger, my dad is not.Hes been a very hard worker his entire life and now he is wheel chair bound due to ALS. I think to him it's just a scared thing b/c he's sick and he gets really woried. My older brothers eat crappy too and are rail thin, same with my younger sister. They use call me fat and make fat jokes towards me. My brothers nickname for me growing up was " Ugla" implying i was also hideous. So yeah they've always been this way.
  • NoahandPresleysMom
    NoahandPresleysMom Posts: 763 Member
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    Get this; my mom told me she weighed as much as I do now (I'm 18) when she was 7 months pregnant with me. Gee, thanks for letting me know mom :) So I totally feel for you, even though it's different directions. So stay strong, you can do it :)


    Oh wow. Yeah I know that feeling very well. Growing up my mom was always thin and as she put it "alot prettier then you'll ever be". Yeah it really sucks.
  • NoahandPresleysMom
    NoahandPresleysMom Posts: 763 Member
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    My mum is the same. The other day she said to me ''no offence Laura but you're never going to be a size eight''. Thanks mum! grrrr


    that's soooo rude!!
  • apedeb09
    apedeb09 Posts: 805 Member
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    This sounds exactly like my mom! So frustrating! But at least you have your husband... and all your MFP friends of course :)
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
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    Honestly.. my sister is a B!itch too.. Fortunately for me she has more weight on me than anything and she still makes remarks about me. My honest opinion.. and please don't hate on me for it, but drop the people who are bad for you~ even if its family.

    They don't love you if they talk to you like that.

    However myfitnesspal ppl love you all! So stay here and leave them.. just saying.
  • myateam4
    myateam4 Posts: 63 Member
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    Being around unsupportive people is really hard! My boyfriend is supportive in some ways but other ways he sucks. He can eat whatever... Hellllooo I can not!! LOL So I had to turn to these message boards for my support and have been pretty successful. I still find myself eating out with him at fast food places, but I am learning different things to order that aren't as bad for you. Educate yourself as much as you can and STAY focused! Do it for yourself!! I have a Facebook group if you are interested in daily motivational support! Just message me for details! You can do this!!!
  • IsleEsme
    IsleEsme Posts: 175 Member
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    About 8 years ago I let my entire family go. Meaning I have zero contact with my parents and brother. (or anyone close to them). Just because your mother gave you life it doesn't mean she gets to treat you like that. It took me a long time to realize what was the best thing for me, my 3 daughters and my wonderful husband was to let my family go. Best thing I ever did. Don't regret it at all.

    You don't owe your parents anything. You are an adult with your own family. Props to your supportive husband. He is your family now. Let the baggage go. It's ok. You'll be better for it, so will your children.
  • bookwormwendy
    bookwormwendy Posts: 112 Member
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    I am fortunate, my family is very supportive and happy for me. Not so everyone I know and not so my in-laws. My husband has been at this longer and has lost a lot of weight. They told him he looks sick! He does NOT look sick! He looks nice and I plan to get there with him- I'm on my way already. They are wonderful people but going to visit them is always a challenge. They both have HBP and my father-in-law has diabetes. There is ALWAYS pizza, cookies, cake, chips, candy, soda and some form of JUNK at their house. We just do our best to support each other and help each other resist temptation when we go out there.
  • Springfield_Rocks
    Springfield_Rocks Posts: 289
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    My honest opinion.. and please don't hate on me for it, but drop the people who are bad for you~ even if its family.

    They don't love you if they talk to you like that.

    However myfitnesspal ppl love you all! So stay here and leave them.. just saying.

    This!!!

    :laugh:
  • Bijoux_Bug
    Bijoux_Bug Posts: 36
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    Omgosh! This is perfect for a quote i just found.

    "Exercise to be fit, not skinny. Eat to nourish your body. And always
    ignore the haters and doubters and unhealthy examples that were
    once feeding you. You are worth more than you realize." :heart:
  • wildvintagechic
    wildvintagechic Posts: 15 Member
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    Does your family express love and emotions verbally and with things like hugs and kisses? Mine did not and still does not toward me. My sister and I both raised our children differently. Even though my mom knew that I was trying to watch my weight she would make me homemade pie, or other food. As a European mother (Hungarian) that is how love was expressed to them and that is how she showed it to my sister and I. Perhaps this is her way of trying to demonstrate her love for you??
  • DIYmomma
    DIYmomma Posts: 74 Member
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    Don't you just hate it. My in-laws are like this, and my mom is only a little better, but my in-laws mock me for feeding my kids healthier food. I don't deprive them, and I don't force them to eat things the hate, but i do make them try things they normally wouldn't try, and i do so frequently in hopes of expanding their taste. I have stopped buying chips, cakes, and other junk food. My in-laws and my mother live off of junk food, and stuff my kids full of it while they are there. When they come home, it take days for their behavior to even back off!

    I truly think that people get jealous that your doing something to better yourself and your family! Dont let others tell you whats best for your kids!
  • DIYmomma
    DIYmomma Posts: 74 Member
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    Omgosh! This is perfect for a quote i just found.

    "Exercise to be fit, not skinny. Eat to nourish your body. And always
    ignore the haters and doubters and unhealthy examples that were
    once feeding you. You are worth more than you realize." :heart:

    oh and this is brilliant. Im totally stealing it!
  • Blaineyyy
    Blaineyyy Posts: 151 Member
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    See, I have a weird one. My family are totally supportive but I think they're more uneducated than anything else. They encourage me to lose weight, but do occasionally throw in a comment like "I don't think you're meant to not have a belly" or "Isn't your meal a little small?", but I put that down to the fact I've ALWAYS had the same habits and physique for as long as just about anyone can remember, and it's new and hard to imagine me otherwise. Other than that, they've actually encouraged me to go to the gym and bought loads more fruit and vegetables. So it's a strange one.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    stop telling your family. it really isnt anyones business but your own. if they talk about it, ignore them. dont feed into the drama.
  • monkeyjmonkerson
    monkeyjmonkerson Posts: 13
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    I am SO sorry your mom is not supportive and your siblings sound the same.

    Don't forget that just because your siblings aren't experiencing the overweight thing, that doesn't mean they are less like to suffer the ill effects of an unhealthy lifestyle.

    if you mom can't say anything nice...block her from making comments on your fb....

    it's very hurtful to anyone when their own family...where we are supposed to feel safe and loved unconditionally treats you this way.

    Follow your bliss and self fulfilment and those who matter don't mind...those who mind don't matter. My best wishes for health, happiness and success!

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