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    how do you invite a girl to a movie but not as a date?

    Posts: 3,750 Member
    edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
    i moved to Phoenix a little over a year ago and have been meeting new people through groups like Meet Up. sometimes ill meet a girl who i'm not interested in dating but i would like to be friends with...see movies, play pub trivia, go places etc...

    whats the best way to ask them while making it clear its not a date?

    ive tried just being casual and saying hey we should check out that new movie. but even if the plan is to meet there i get the sense they were thinking it was somethig more sometimes.

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    • Posts: 5,138 Member
      Bring some other friends?
    • Posts: 324 Member
      Just be honest, say you would like to be friends with her and ask her if she would like to hang out sometime. We like having guy friends too and as long as you are up front and honest with her about where you stand she will appreciate it, if she chooses not to be friends with you it is her loss.
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      Bring some other friends?

      no problems in that scenario. much less of a chance of misunderstanding.
    • Posts: 103 Member
      stop it
    • Posts: 1,450 Member
      Ummmmm, say I just wanna go see a movie...not a date?
      teehee
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      Just be honest, say you would like to be friends with her and ask her if she would like to hang out sometime. We like having guy friends too and as long as you are up front and honest with her about where you stand she will appreciate it, if she chooses not to be friends with you it is her loss.

      for some reason that just seems forced to me to come right out and say "lets be friends" but maybe it is for the best.

      im really just looking for some kind of code phrase. like "would you like to come in for some coffee" at 2 a.m. is not really about coffee...but the "lets be friends" equivalent. :)
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      stop it

      stop what?
    • Posts: 4,375 Member
      Just ask her.
      I think us men over think things sometimes.
    • Posts: 8,329 Member
      ask her to see it, but make sure you dont send out date signals like paying for her ticket, meeting with her before hand or putting her hand on your penis.
    • Posts: 4,868 Member
      I recently went through this myself(met people through Meetup and a guy asked me for coffee on Tuesday.. now I'm stuck wondering if it's a date or friends getting to know each other!)

      Just shoot her an email that says hey, I enjoyed meeting you and was wondering if you would like to hang out again doing XYZ.
      I'm not interested in dating but i would like to be friends.. and leave it at that!
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      I recently went through this myself(met people through Meetup and a guy asked me for coffee on Tuesday.. now I'm stuck wondering if it's a date or friends getting to know each other!)

      Just shoot her an email that says hey, I enjoyed meeting you and was wondering if you would like to hang out again doing XYZ.
      I'm not interested in dating but i would like to be friends.. and leave it at that!


      thats definitely a good idea, but i am interested in dating and am hoping to meet people in those Meet Up groups and wouldnt want to lie to her.
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      ask her to see it, but make sure you dont send out date signals like paying for her ticket, meeting with her before hand or putting her hand on your penis.

      wait a minute...its not normal to place friend's hands on my penis? no wonder so many think im interested and/or gay!!!
    • Posts: 8,329 Member
      seriously though, i think you should just ask her, not send out any confusing signals (like offering to pay for the ticket) and only bring up the fact that you dont like her in THAT way if you the impression she thinks of you that way.

      you canalso try the subtle hint like asking if she things men and women can have strictly platonic relationships
    • Posts: 160
      Its tough if your Fred Willard!!
    • Posts: 456 Member
      Hm, this is a tough call...

      I think that I'd feel less confused if someone invited me to hang out with more friends, as a group. Also, perhaps mention the word "friends" nonchalantly someplace in the email? Something along the lines of: "You strike me as quite interesting, and I think we could be friends. Email me if you want to catch a movie sometime :)"
    • Posts: 219 Member
      ok.. here's the deal.. you don't..
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      ok.. here's the deal.. you don't..

      why not?
    • Posts: 4,868 Member
      show previous quotes


      thats definitely a good idea, but i am interested in dating and am hoping to meet people in those Meet Up groups and wouldnt want to lie to her.

      True, but you are not interested in dating that specific girl.. so in that case you aren't lying if you tell her you aren't interested in dating her.

      You could also say something like I am interested in dating, but I'm trying to meet people and make friends before I start dating anyone. That way she knows your intentions, but also realizes that you are trying to be social and not just rushing into anything.
    • Posts: 3,750 Member
      mesha and rosa i like those ideas. thanks.
    • Posts: 125
      sounds like the FRIEND ZONE
    • Posts: 236
      How about " Would you be willing to go to a movie with me, not as a date but as my friend?" What's so hard about that?
    • Posts: 165
      Just ask her.
      I think us men over think things sometimes.
      Yeah you do. If someone said "I'm going to see ____, do you want to go?" I wouldn't think it was a date. If someone said "Do you want to go see a movie sometime?" I would think he was asking me out.
    • Posts: 873 Member
      Keeping it up front and real with the girl.
    • Posts: 751 Member
      Bring friends OR just tell her. Say "I'm just interested in being friends, I'd just like to hang out with you, but that's all, nothing more than friendship" well something along the lines of that :p She may be more comfortable then!
    • Posts: 3,450 Member
      Just try "youre a lot of fun. I think we'd make great friends. Want to go do x,y,z later this week?"
    • Posts: 1,312 Member
      Say something like, "Hey we have a lot in common. We should be friends. Wanna catch a movie on Saturday with me?"

      I have to admit that I always had the opposite problem when I was single. Guys that were in my social circle would ask me to do something and I'd assume it was just as friends... not thinking they would want to date me. It does make for a weird vibe if you're not on the same page.
    • Posts: 600 Member
      I guess the bottom line is you don't ask her up to see your etchings. Or as previously stated, put her hand on your penis. This also rules out putting your penis through the hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket.

      I think Juliecat1 worded it well.
    • Posts: 2,631 Member
      'hey do you want to go see that new movie? just as friends, not a date!'

      pretty simple.
    • Posts: 1,376 Member
      Yo I got an extra movie ticket... wanna check this **** out with me? Pffft no its not a date... you dumb?

      lol


      Just be straight up honest is all.
    • Posts: 464 Member
      "Wanna go see a movie? Not a date or anything, just as friends?"
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