question for women in a relationship

ipitythepotbelly

this is mostly aimed at those who WERE overweight at the beginning of the relationship and whose partner was significantly fitter than them: did you have doubts about your partner really being attracted to you?

as someone who's been aroused by the sight of hollywood-thin naked female bodies, i personally can't imagine how the typical male would be "instinctively" (?) aroused by mine. i know people can become more attractive the more you get to know them and people who'll dismiss you based on your looks aren't worth it, and yet... it bothers me knowing that my prospective partner won't be naturally attracted to my body the way he will be naturally attracted to other girls'.

anyone else have the same hang-up?

magj0y

My 2 cents in knowing more than many about sexuality/ sensuality.

Most people have a type. some very stingent, some loosely. But there are some people who walk into your life.
They walk all over your "type" and they are just so . there. It just consumes you.

I have seen it so many times. It is at times awesome, sometimes a huge 'wtf' but it is what it is.

Questioning it will make you doubt yourself. As the song goes, it's in his kiss.

lifeissweet89

I know what you mean. In the middle of me and my boyfriend's relationship he lost A LOT of weight and I was still struggling with my weight. I had my doubts about how attractive he was to me, especially when we stopped having sex and it nearly ruined our relationship.

One day we had a talk and he told me that it was my confidence (and smile) that attracted him the most. Of course, he thought I was beautiful but the fact that I held my head up high when I walked into a room was what got him. He told me not to doubt myself and that he was still attracted to me and that there were other factors contributing to our less intimate relationship.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that men are attracted to confidence, it radiates off of you, and they like that. I mean, I still have trouble accepting my body just like most of us on here but I bet you have great things to offer in a relationship! Of course men fantasize about those skinny models and celebrities in magazines, but if they are with you then just be happy that they accept you.

There will be a person out there who will notice you as long as your comfortable in your own skin and just be yourself

I bet you're an awesome person, just let it show!

PANZERIA

Of course, in a relationship, the physical aspect is a large part of it. Being physical is the single thing that you and your S.O can do that you can't do with anyone else.

When we first started dating 7 years ago (holy crap I'm old...), I was fresh out of high school with the high-school bod and my mom's breasts (huge and people think they're implants). I've still got her breasts, but the bod has followed them, lol.

My fiance was chubby and overweight with an afro, a beard, and dreamt of being a musician.

7 years later, he's got a professional career, shed 30lbs and gained a TON of muscle (omg he's so droolworthy now). I gained 40lbs after getting my university degree, and now I'm trying to work it off while working towards a professional career of my own.

I find that even though physically, we have both changed...it's the mental changes that we're still attracted to after all this time. Of course, I am 40lbs too heavy for my taste and he looks like a grecian GOD, so I definitely get where you're coming from. It's a little daunting when you change, but if he loves you for you and not just for your body, then he's a keeper, I say.

camiah

What makes you so certain that he's not as attracted to your body as you think he would be to the Hollywood ideal? If there is one thing I've learned in my bumpy ride in life, it isn't to put your hangups on someone else.

My husband was fit when we met. I weighed about thirty-forty pounds less when we met (oh, how that hurts to type). I don't think I was overly hung up on the possibility that he might not find me attractive physically--I had always assumed I wasn't, so it was so out of left field for me to find someone who was attracted to me (when I wasn't drunk, an important qualifier) that I allowed myself, for once, to bask in the glow of being desired. I was confident enough not to worry about it. When my depression got worse, in the following years, that all changed. Then I began to question how he could have found (or continue to find) me attractive. It is an issue of self-confidence and self esteem. When I have it, I don't question the fact that I got the cutie.

Erisad

Well, my bf is pretty fluffy too but since he's tall he can carry it well. I've lost around 30 pounds since we met and he's been going to the gym more as a result. He told me that I don't have to lose the weight and that he thinks I look fine as I am now but I still have another 40 pounds to go before even thinking about maintaining.

chezileigh

My hubby is very good at pretending I'm the only girl in the world, which is some ways can be frustrating in itself because it's not a massive motivator, however, I'm not complaining of course!

chezileigh

If there is one thing I've learned in my bumpy ride in life, it isn't to put your hangups on someone else.

I like this, it's probably something I could do to master!

obolton756

YES. exactly what happened to me..

when i started dating my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago i was WAY bigger than I am now. i hated how i looked. i didn't honestly see how he would like it either.
he is 6'2 slim athletic build footballer with a chiselled jaw and amazing smile (i know i'm biased but he does look awesome)
while i was short fat and in my opinion ugly.

all this time later i've slimmed right down to 119 pounds, i'm now 5'6 and have a 24 inch waist. do i feel any better? the answer is no.. although i've lost weight i still feel the same about myself. no amount of weight can change that. in many ways i'm more concious of how i look now..

so my advice to anyone.. don't get hung up on it.. trust him if he loves you.. because he probably thinks you're gorgeous.