Divorce makes you fat

xoalyssaox

I am going through a divorce. I was 30 pounds overweight before my divorce. I moved out 3 1/2 months ago..I weighed 152, I just weighed myself for the first time in a long time, and got the biggest shock of my life. I gained 20 pounds. I am in tears. How could I let myself do this? I don't even know where to start. I never commit to anything. I always fail. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know how I can lose 50 pounds! I haven't weighed this much ever except when I was 9 months pregnant.

neenaleigh

its ok! i had 40lbs to lose, just to barley make it into a healthy BMI range! I started this website 6/8/09, and ive lost 26lbs so far! I've never succeeded in dieting, until NOW! My fitness pal is the BEST! you can do!!!! If you need to vent EVER, im here for you. :bigsmile:

danarochelle

THINK POSITIVE!!That's all I can tell you! It works! What alternative do you have??? You can do it! We're all here for you!!! I've been through a divorce and it feels like the end of the world but, girl, there's SO much you have to look forward to!!!

GL! Add me as a friend!

Dana

Momma2four

First off, I am really sorry that you are going through a divorce right now.. That has to be very difficult on you.

Second, your here. You have the tools. Rather than look at the big over all goal. Start with several small ones, this gives you an opportunity to be successful and celebrate those small successes. Start with 5 pounds set a realistic date say 5 weeks from now. If you lose it before then great. But it is realistic to plan on 5 weeks. Even 6 weeks.. 1 meal at a time. You can do this. You are young and your metabolism is still good. You can do this.

curvygirl63

I can totally relate to what you are going through - the same thing happened to me. Because of all the stress with the decision, telling my kids, the fear of having to start over after 18 years and all the emotional turmoil I put upon myself - My weight shot up to 235 lbs.

Allow yourself to feel the emotions - if you need to scream - do it, break a glass or something but don't keep it inside.

YOU CAN DO IT!

If you take it a day at a time, I promise that each day that passes, the pain won't be so great.

Hang in there. It DOES get better.

xoalyssaox

I kinda do have the urge to drive somewhere far away and just scream

xoalyssaox

bump

Ripgirl

I'm so sorry, it's so hard but as others here have said, it will get easier.

I went through a messy one about 7.5 years ago. My loving hubby was sleeping with the next door neighbor's wife, my friend. Not to mention the supposed friendship with her husband. Nice, huh?

It was a rough time, and any healthy habits I had certainly went to the bottom of my priority list. He had really messed with my head. Smoking, wine and eating whatever was there because I just didn't care made fast changes to my body, and not the good kind.

Someone gave me some very simple advice: the best revenge is living well.

I didn't feel the need for revenge (although I had my moments), and am certainly not suggesting you do - that was not the way I took his comment. He went on to ask me, "when you bump into that a**h***, who do you want to be?" He suggested that being fit, hot & happy would make that chance meeting a lot less crappy for me.

He was right, it was quite a motivator at least to kick me back on track. I also then realized that if I allowed myself to slip because of the ex, then I would also be allowing him to continue to damage me and there was no way I was giving up that power. Neither should you.

So. Drive somewhere far away and scream. And then decide that you are going to do this, for you.

Stay strong!

weaklink109

I'm so sorry, it's so hard but as others here have said, it will get easier.

I went through a messy one about 7.5 years ago. My loving hubby was sleeping with the next door neighbor's wife, my friend. Not to mention the supposed friendship with her husband. Nice, huh?

It was a rough time, and any healthy habits I had certainly went to the bottom of my priority list. He had really messed with my head. Smoking, wine and eating whatever was there because I just didn't care made fast changes to my body, and not the good kind.

Someone gave me some very simple advice: the best revenge is living well.

I didn't feel the need for revenge (although I had my moments), and am certainly not suggesting you do - that was not the way I took his comment. He went on to ask me, "when you bump into that a**h***, who do you want to be?" He suggested that being fit, hot & happy would make that chance meeting a lot less crappy for me.

He was right, it was quite a motivator at least to kick me back on track. I also then realized that if I allowed myself to slip because of the ex, then I would also be allowing him to continue to damage me and there was no way I was giving up that power. Neither should you.

So. Drive somewhere far away and scream. And then decide that you are going to do this, for you.

Stay strong!

What she said:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

I went through a realitvely amiable divorce, without kids, and it was still not easy. There IS life afterwards, and you DO have the control over how your life is going to play out. I was lucky enough to stumble on to this site in April, and the ticker tells the tale. I WISH, I only had 50 lbs to lose, but when I started, I needed to lose 120, so hang in there and be good to yourself.

We are all here for you.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

stephcheers

Divorce is horrible! I think it would be hard to find someone who has gone through it that won't totally relate to the heartache and stress of it.

But...you will also have a hard time finding someone who would say that it will stay horrible. Because really it won't. Things somehow (although slowly sometimes) do get better. Hang in there!

:flowerforyou:

xoalyssaox

Thanks guys!!! I did pretty good today except for the cookies I just ate.. GRR!!!!! But I am trying.....at least its a start. I really like the idea of revenging him by doing well in life. Sounds like a plan

Ripgirl

Hey! How's it going? Are you hanging in ok?

Wecandothis

You are obviously a young and beautiful woman - that is well apparent from your picture.

So you are at a crossroads - and it's time to make a decision. You've got to decide if you are going to let this beat you or if you're going to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move forward into a future which is bright and filled with the adventures that are awaiting you.

The good news is that you don't have to decide just now. There is going to be a period of 'mourning' this loss, because I remember it did feel like a death - and it is the death of a relationship. But you can move forward, and the future does honestly hold lots of adventure for you. As I said you are young and beautiful and believe it or not the best is yet to come for you.

Bless you.

Cheriperkins

This is soo true. There is life after divorce and the BEST thing you can do is be healthy and happy! I went thru a divorce 16 years ago and remarrried 9 years ago..all I can say is if your happy with yourself everything else just falls into place. Hang in there and don't worry....you can't deprive yourself completely...you can have an occasional cookie!

Cheri

xoalyssaox

Thanks ladies! I joined a gym today. I haven't lost any weight from dieting yet, bc I keep eating fast food cause I am always on the run. I need to think of ways to prepare meals ahead of time so I dont have to keep eating out!!! I worked out today for the first time in like 6 months, and I feel great! I really want to commit this time!!

mavsfan2009

Good luck! I've found that when I'm upset over my relationship, if I drag myself to the gym I feel SO much better. I'm not much of an eater when I'm upset (quite the opposite, as I can't imagine eating when I'm sad/angry), but I can PROMISE you that the next time you see him and you look fantastic, you'll walk away feeling great. I haven't ever gotten a divorce, so I can't say I know how it feels but there are plenty of people here to support you and listen when you're feeling down. We'll be thinking about you!

foxyforce

I am going through a divorce. I was 30 pounds overweight before my divorce. I moved out 3 1/2 months ago..I weighed 152, I just weighed myself for the first time in a long time, and got the biggest shock of my life. I gained 20 pounds. I am in tears. How could I let myself do this? I don't even know where to start. I never commit to anything. I always fail. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know how I can lose 50 pounds! I haven't weighed this much ever except when I was 9 months pregnant.

aw, it will get better :flowerforyou: when my parents got divorced a couple of years ago, my dad lost a lot of weight. and healthily. he went to the gym everyday out of motivation for a new start. i don't know your lifestyle, but try not to ruminate, this is your life and you can take control, and if you don't want to weight that much you don't have to.

work hard, you'll get there. :flowerforyou: