friend is losing weight and I'm not... what gives?

krg724

A friend and I are doing a friendly weight loss competition for 90 days. We've been at it for 11 days and I'm down 3 lbs, she's down 12!! I was happy about my loss until I found out about hers. I've exercised a few times in the past 11 days and she hasn't a bit. (we live together so that's how I know.) I know that she isn't eating much, she was all smiley about only eating a yogurt and a granola bar the other day. So my question is this, with us being about the same size and all and within 3 years in age (she's older than me) what could be the reason her's is so dramatically higher than my loss so far? It's a 90 day challenge so I'm hoping for a tortoise and the hare situation, but its hard not to be so bummed and feel like there's no way I can catch up.. :grumble:

T2trinco

She'll gain it back. Sounds like she's starving herself to beat you. The longer it takes to come off, the longer it will stay off! Don't fret!

maddymama

Well, your diary isn't open, so we can't see what you are eating or exercising.
If I had to guess, she is starving herself, while you are losing weight more sensibly. It sounds as if she is undereating. At somepoint her body will realize she is starving it, and start holding onto every single thing that goes into her mouth.
You, if you are eating sensibly and exercising, will probably lose at a slower weight, but it will continue over time.
Good luck!

Toxictwist

Once she starts eating normal again she will gain it all back & possibly more.

suej20

I'll bet she can't keep up 90 days of not eating much. You're doing the right thing, keep it up!

T2trinco

Also, try going by inches, not pounds! I bet if you're strength training and the such, you are losing inches. She will only end up just "skinny fat" with no strength or definition.

BABetter1

Previous two replies are spot on. She will also very quickly get tired of starving herself, especially when the weight stops falling off, and she will go back to eating normally, whereupon she will probably gain back what she lost and then some. There is a reason all the successful people on this site call it a "lifestyle change" instead of a "diet". The changes you make need to be sustainable. Nobody could be happy or sustain eating a granola bar and a yogurt every day. Good luck, and don't give up. You are doing it the right way.

KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON

Also, try going by inches, not pounds! I bet if you're strength training and the such, you are losing inches. She will only end up just "skinny fat" with no strength or definition.

Agree with this ^

smithy85

That and she is probably losing water weight!!! she will gain it back!

Spanaval

Losing 12 pounds in 11 days is neither healthy, nor sustainable. Don't worry about the competition. She can't possibly sustain herself on a starvation diet for 90 days, at least not without hurting herself.

I would suggest that you guys modify your ground rules a bit so you have some minimum calories that you have to consume on any given day.

krg724

ahh! thanks so much guys! I just started using mfp again, so I haven't entered anything in the food diary, I started using the Bodybugg a week and a half ago and I track my calories there, I have had a deficit every day, but I know my diet still needs to drastically improve. I've been working in some sweet tea and things that I know aren't great and my hubby pointed out today that the type of calories matter too. I mean for the most part I'm eating pretty well, nixed all fast food, eating lean proteins and things. My biggest problem is breakfast- I've never been an "egg eater" really, and cereals leave me hungry within the hour, oh and carbs. I've cut back, but still need to work on that one.

I'm going to stick with it, and I guess at the end even if she does lose more on the scale I'm more worried about how my pants fit than what the number is. Glad I found my way back to MFP seems like some very supportive folks here!

abbylg1983

That is ridiculous. 12 pounds in 11 days via starving yourself is not healthy at all. And she has not lost 12 pounds of fat. She has probably lost something like 1-2 pounds of fat, 2-4 pounds of lean muscle, and 5-6 pounds of water weight (ok, that's totally a guess, but I think when you lose weight by starving yourself the water and muscle weight are the first to go). Losing the water weight is kind of whatever- she'll put it back on as soon as she starts eating again. Losing the lean muscle weight is never good and she is actually sabatoging her long term weight loss efforts this way.

Is she insanely competitive or something? Or are extreme diets just kind of her thing?

Maintaining (or even gaining) muscle weight is actually helpful for long term fat loss and the best way to do that is a very slow overall loss. Keep doing what you are doing. Based on your friend's extreme approach, I am not sure a "friendly" weight loss competition is the healthiest thing for her.

jeniallen

you put that you are a similar size, do you mean a similar weight also as if she has more to lose it could be easier for her, i know when ive done weight loss things with friends we did it based on the percentage lost so it was fairer.

eg i weigh 222lbs and lose 22 lbs and this would be a 10% loss

my friends weighs 200 pounds and loses 10 pounds this would be a 5% loss..

something to think about

I reckon she is undereating though and this will put her into starvation mode and then she will stop loosing and gain!

x

714rah714

She probably ate and dring alot before the official weigh in

krg724

That is ridiculous. 12 pounds in 11 days via starving yourself is not healthy at all. And she has not lost 12 pounds of fat. She has probably lost something like 1-2 pounds of fat, 2-4 pounds of lean muscle, and 5-6 pounds of water weight (ok, that's totally a guess, but I think when you lose weight by starving yourself the water and muscle weight are the first to go). Losing the water weight is kind of whatever- she'll put it back on as soon as she starts eating again. Losing the lean muscle weight is never good and she is actually sabatoging her long term weight loss efforts this way.

Is she insanely competitive or something? Or are extreme diets just kind of her thing?

Maintaining (or even gaining) muscle weight is actually helpful for long term fat loss and the best way to do that is a very slow overall loss. Keep doing what you are doing. Based on your friend's extreme approach, I am not sure a "friendly" weight loss competition is the healthiest thing for her.

well it's a couples challenge, her hubs is down 12 as well but he did an Acai berry cleanse/detox thing, so both of them down 12 lbs in 11 days, and me and my husband are down 3 and 4 lbs. Her husband has done several little 4-6 week competitions with friends, and every time he drops 20+ lbs Using sweat it out/reducing calories and fluids... and then brings home tons of food from the mexican restaurant on the last day after weigh in. Using sweat it out/reducing calories and fluids... That was the reason we chose 90 days thinking it would make everyone make REAL changes not just quick fix, rid yourself of every ounce of water....

So that's what I was looking for, just confirmation that it isn't good to drop that much that fast, and isn't good in the long run... I knew that already, but she's walking around smug and smiling touting about her 9 lbs, then tells me today she lost 3 more since she weighed herself two days ago. Losing isn't fun, but it's not over yet. and I'd rather lose it and keep it off, and look more fit than be skinny fat..

krg724

you put that you are a similar size, do you mean a similar weight also as if she has more to lose it could be easier for her, i know when ive done weight loss things with friends we did it based on the percentage lost so it was fairer.

I started at 202.2, she started at 210lbs she is 5'5" I am 5'0" so I have more to lose... and we are doing percentage of weight lost not by pounds

krg724

She probably ate and dring alot before the official weigh in

she insisted we do the first weigh in after dinner, and I had to wait for her to finish a doughnut... lol. I guess she's looking for the title of "winner" My husband told me that it didn't matter in the end, that losing weight is what matters, I just needed more pick me up

Spanaval

Regardless of what happens, take comfort in knowing that what you're doing is likely sustainable going forward, and you and your DH will likely lose more weight/keep it off more successfully than your friend and her SO.