Deleting unmotivating MFP friends
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If I know they're on vacation or going through something I give them as long as they need. Yet if there's no indication I give them 3 days...0
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I counted...only 8 are in the red, of 206. I pick my friends wisely.0
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I just delete to be deleting people... sometimes I feel ultra b!tchy and then no one is safe really.0
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I just delete to be deleting people... sometimes I feel ultra b!tchy and then no one is safe really.
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Except for people who were my friends from the very beginning (and people I actually know), I delete after around 3 months of activity. Also just posted a note that I'll be whittling down people who don't comment on my posts at least once a month, as I try to comment on EVERYONE at least three times a week. I'm here for support!0
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30 day max.0
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I delete people who have not logged in for a couple of months. Ditto on people who are on, what is in my personal view, a very unhealthy path by choice (severe calorie restriction or pro-ana). Also anyone who is mean, be it to me or other members. I put non-friend members on ignore for this reason too. I'm not interested in personal attacks & insults and dont want them polluting my space. I have also deleted someone who was basically looking for male attention on a sexual level (hey! Enjoy! I just dont want to see it.)
It all boils down to this being YOUR health, fitness and weight loss journey and its YOUR choice who you share that path with.
JMO:flowerforyou:0 -
3 days. then delete. or even if ur active and haven't commented on any activity in days - then delete0
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I don't worry about people who don't log in. They aren't hurting anything on my friend's list. And I know it took me the better part of a year to get serious and now that I have, I need all the support I can get.
But I do delete people who seem to be trolls or *kitten*. This one person wrote to me about how she needed help and support, etc. So I friended her. From her profile, it appeared she had a great deal of weight that she wanted to lose. Then I noticed that she was posting things in her exercise journal like she ran 8 miles or 10 miles. Or did these insanely long workouts that a person of the size she claimed to be probably could not do.
I don't know what this person's game was, but I cut them. I have only a few friends, but they're good, supportive ones that I'm growing to love. I intend to use the site to the fullest and that means utilizing the support I get here to the fullest. And to me, it also means being a good friend in return.
I guess what I'm saying is, get the most out of this experience that you can. And if that means cutting people at times, do what you need to do.0 -
I just delete to be deleting people... sometimes I feel ultra b!tchy and then no one is safe really.
Prime example of a person I'd rather not encounter.0 -
I completely agree. I deleted my husband after 2 weeks of inactivity!
Love it!!!!0 -
Do you delete MFP friends if they are inactive? If so, how long do you give them before you kick them to the curb? Personally, if they have not logged in in 2 months (which I think is very generous), I delete. Even if you are a real life friend of mine. I like when my board lights up with green active users that motivate and inspire me. I've been told that is mean of me (by a real life friend who I deleted). Well, tough.
Gina
Gina,
This is what I have posted onto the beginning of my profile....{ "I will not post my MFP Friendship expectations or my rules on my profile. For it may seem to be unfair or judgmental. I do have a MFP friendship philosophy that is it common sense to most MATURE adults to comprehend, simply put to "Reciprocate" the basics of respect, motivation, inspiration, encouragement and the purpose of a MFP friendship is to help educate others who are unaware of a healthier lifestyle. Most of all, "CELEBRATE" one another’s goals achieved & successes." }
When I accept a new MFP Friend request...I often only accept complete profiles and some of them are opened food diaries some closed. I do not think that should be a valid reason to accept or delete a MFP friend. It is completely someone right to have privacy. It does not mean that they are hiding or cheating. They have to be mature and realize that they will only have one person to answer to if they are not getting the results that are wanting. If they are one of those ppl who do lie or cheat on they're food diary then........They are only lying to them selves.
If I do receive an incomplete MFP Friend request or a FR that has no short introduction or message attached as to why they want to become MFP Friends. I simply send a message before accepting asking them to tell me a little bit more about themselves. Then once I receive a reply. I will accept the MFP Friend Request. I actually have 2 invitations that have been pending a reply...still no reply or response to my message?!? Go figure? Why send a FR and not reply to a message?
I do send comments to any one who is absent for more than 3 days...and sometimes when it gets up to 1 week.
My comment is something to this.....{ I wanted to show you some love & stop by & encourage you & uplift you!
I pray all is well with you! Miss you GF! Hope to hear from you soon! ~~ Hurry & Come back soon! You are missed and were in my thoughts today! } Regrettably, If I see in a day or two that there is no reply or response I do end up deleting them off of my MFP list! *sigh*
I have deleted a few that I deleted with out any supportive comments to them being MIA...because when they were logged onto MFP they did not reciprocate or they themselves were not showing a reasonable good intentions to they're purpose to get into a "Healthier Lifestyle"
MY exception to my list only applies to one profile / one MFP friend who is actually my sister in law. She is not active on the site nor does she use this site...she does not need to log or monitor her calories or exercises. She is very active and lives a healthy Life Style. She opened a MFP account so that she could see my progress and to be supportive. So she is the only exception to when I clean up me MFP friends list.
I do want to stress to others what I said in my first paragraph....*that is it common sense to most MATURE adults to comprehend, simply put to "Reciprocate" the basics of respect, motivation, inspiration, encouragement and the purpose of a MFP friendship is to help educate others who are unaware of a healthier lifestyle. Most of all, "CELEBRATE" one another’s goals achieved & successes*0 -
I just delete to be deleting people... sometimes I feel ultra b!tchy and then no one is safe really.
Prime example of a person I'd rather not encounter.
Really? because I made a smart *kitten* comment on forum post? bahhaha have a sense of humor as most of my MFP friends can attest I really am a sweet, kind caring person.. who sometimes gets in dramatic knife fights for fun but I really am so picky with my friends I rarely have to delete anyone.0 -
I would feel bad if I deleted someone because when they come back it would be even harder for them. Maybe the people that haven't been on will need even more support when they come back. It's not like most of my mfp buddies aren't on everyday so doesn't cost anything to keep others on...0
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Oh lawd!!!! lolI completely agree. I deleted my husband after 2 weeks of inactivity!0 -
I delete and have been deleted. I usually give them a bit of time, maybe they're busy or caught up with real life and just haven't been logging on. Then I comment or message them to let them know I'm still rooting for them. If I still see no activity or even a reply saying "I know I've been slacking, but ____" and have some personal reason or are coming back, I'll usually hit the delete. But if they at least get in contact, I'll give them more time still.
I went inactive for 7 months after losing a job, finding my boyfriend had been emotionally unfaithful in our relationship, and then accepting a more time consuming full time position. None of these are good reasons to slack off and go back to unhealthy eating, but while these things were going on, it would have meant the world to me for someone to just drop me a quick message and say "Hey, I'm thinking of you, I'm hoping you're still sticking to it, and I hope you come back" instead of just deleting me. I finally did get around to restarting my healthy lifestyle and am sticking to it (45 days and counting! May not seem like much but it's been a huge challenge for me), and it makes a world of difference to have real, supportive friends who would notice my absence instead of just deleting me once my name turns red.0 -
I have deleted people for only talking about clothes (how tiny they are), shoes, make up and shopping (and lots of weird emo poetry). Never once did they post anything about nutrition or working out or anything related to a fitness site.
I had nothing against her.....she was a really nice girl....but we had nothing in common whatsoever.
I don't really delete people for not logging in....unless they haven't logged in for a long time and never posted an avatar pic or filled out their info.
I try to say something to everyone in my friends list that posts something. There are a lot who never respond back to me. I still do it...just because they aren't responding doesn't mean that they wouldn't appreciate it. Maybe I'm wasting my time?0 -
i accept all friend requests but i ask that people send a note so i know where they saw me or something but even if they dont include a note a still accept.
i delete if they havent been active in over a month, except for the 3 people i know offline :laugh: they get a pass because they come in and out of the site
i will also delete if someone isn't at least 75% committed to making changes. that doesnt mean they have to be perfect, but as long as they are trying most of the time i can respect that since i'm not perfect either. i have a few people on my friends list who are recovering ana ED. as long as they are making an effort to eat their calories and asking for support on ways to do that i'm cool.
what i can't get with are the people who insist on eating 500 calories a day, not because they are under doctor's supervision and they complain about not losing weight. i also delete people who continually have dumb reasons to not be healthy. i deleted someone for being serious about not working out because she didnt want to mess up her hair :laugh:0 -
I've deleted people who used their status updates as a bizarre self-loathing 'Dear Diary' that they update hourly... It's not that I don't feel sorry for them but pity isn't a good reason to keep someone around and 'I hate myself and just ate three jars of Nutella' is hardly motivational.0
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I've deleted a couple people who added me without ever sending a message with their request, or any messages thereafter, and who never commented on anything I did/wrote & never responded when I said "hey thanks for the add", etc. I try to support all of my active friends everyday, and if I'm constantly doing that and getting nothing back from someone, it just seems like a waste of time to me. I really value the support I get from my friends on here, mostly because I get no support from my friends irl.
I've also deleted a couple of dbags (which I shall not name here) because they were CONSTANTLY posting about how hot they are, always switching up their profile pics, pouting for the camera (a duckface is never OK, especially on a man), asking who wants tickets to the gun show, etc. I wanted to reach through my computer to slap them and tell them to get over themselves. Again, these were guys who weren't really ever supportive, I think they just wanted constant reinforcement of how hot they are. Isn't that what Myspace is for?? :laugh:0 -
:laugh:I completely agree. I deleted my husband after 2 weeks of inactivity!0 -
I've only deleted a few people. It's either for the fact that their conversations and statuses do no interest me or they're using MFP like it's FB. Don't get me wrong, I realize MFP has social site characteristics. And I'm fine with that. I love everyone on my friend list and have developed real friendships with a number of them. But...a majority of our interactions are still fitness related. Any friends discussing personal relationship issues and drunken weekends, constantly, will end up deleted. And Lord forbid they are big cry babies concering the above issues, then they are really deleted quick. But I do the same with my FB account too. Misery loves company but I refuse to associate with misery too long. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!!! LOL0
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I clear out my list periodically because my OCD likes to see green, not red. I give them about 20-25 days. Unless they have a reason to be gone. If they don't, I message on their wall, "Add me if you come back."
And people who creepy out ( mostly guys -.- ), honestly I delete people being rude to my friends, because I don't want them doing that to me. Pro-Ana people, trolls ( duuuuh, haha )...etc.0 -
I just delete to be deleting people... sometimes I feel ultra b!tchy and then no one is safe really.
Prime example of a person I'd rather not encounter.
Really? because I made a smart *kitten* comment on forum post? bahhaha have a sense of humor as most of my MFP friends can attest I really am a sweet, kind caring person.. who sometimes gets in dramatic knife fights for fun but I really am so picky with my friends I rarely have to delete anyone.
You are exactly the kind of person I would like to encounter, FR coming!0 -
I completely agree. I deleted my husband after 2 weeks of inactivity!
That literally made me laugh out loud!0 -
OUCH! LOL0
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3 days......you slack off and yur a gonner!!!! sometimes I just delete people too if they annoy me.0
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I have read most people's responses... and so here's what I think. This weight loss journey is tough. And the TRUTH is MOST of us have tried and failed, gotten on the bandwagon and falling off -- and so we WIN & LOSE together. These people are my friends -- I care about their successes (to a certain extent) or I wouldn't have accepted the request in the first place. Them not logging on ultimately hurts THEM not me. I will not delete them -- or diss them -- because they had a relapse. Come on -- everybody gets knocked down and the TRUE messure of a "PAL or FRIEND" is whether or not YOU be there to help them get back up! Give people the time they need (that's on them) -- you being there when they come back (that's on YOU!!)
Be Blessed folks!0 -
Day 3 without logging on I send and email. Day 4 with no response and I delete. Not wasting my time on people who arent as dedicated as I am.
Currently got 48 friends all of whom are top performers.
Yes, its uncompromising but I take this seriously.
I understand deleting people who haven't logged on in a month or two but anything under two weeks seems extreme . People have lives and sometimes Internet access is non existant . If I go on a two week vacation to a foreign country with minimal or 9.99 a minute Internet access and I don't log on your going to delete me ? It have a vacation planned in a few months I wonder how many people will delete me then ? Cause Internet access on a cruise is ridiculously priced! I don't plan on dropping MFP on my vacation but if you drop me over it ...oh well your loss.0
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