SpousalSupport?

graciousdove

I was just curious if anyone else out there was trying to lose weight while having a spouse that wants nothing to do dieting or weight loss? I am trying to adopt a new vegan or at least a vegetarian lifestyle; however he wants nothing to do with it and still wants his meat and cheese meals. Normally I would be okay with this, but I do all of the cooking in the family and after working all day long, the least thing I want to do is cook two different meals for dinner Is anyone else in this situation?

pippinboy9

I'm in the same situation as you. My husband is supportive of what I"m doing, but he's certainly a carnivore. He's as thin as a rail. He could eat anything and lose weight...I look at lettuce the wrong way and it settles on my hips........I do all the cooking for the house as well, but I'm a SAHM. Most of my food is raw, so there's not much cooking for my meals. I'm not completely vegetarian,,,yet...I just got a new cookbook in the mail today, so that may change quickly. It's difficult to change your lifestyle like that, but, when it comes to using veggies......what about prepping all your veggies at one time, so when it's time to make up a meal for yourself, the majority of the prep work is already done? I know this may not be much help, but tbh, my coffee hasn't kicked in yet, so I don't even know if what I'm saying is making sense lol.

ishallnotwant

I think it would totally suck if my mate was the one who cooked and all of a sudden they wanted to change to a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle lol. I do all the cooking for my husband, and he pretty much eats anything I make him-but I wouldn't stick him with such a drastic lifestyle change. Are you sure of your reasons for going vegan/vegetarian? People do lose weight without going through such drastic measures (not to knock anyone who *IS* vegan or vegetarian) it just seems like a very drastic lifestyle change.

You could always make him his portion of meat, make the sides without meat products, and separately from the meat, and just eat the side dishes. I never really liked meat much when I was younger. I'd make my family meals with meat but only eat the sides. I still do that sometimes but my husband watches me like a hawk and gives me the evil eye if I don't eat a portion of meat because of my chronic anemia lol. It's an easy source of iron.

Septlondon

Well, tempted to say just tell him to cook for himself, but know that if it was that easy Ii would have taken my own advice years ago... lol. Just cook what every you want for yourself and add some easy to prepare protein for him eg sausages, steak, eggs, frozen pizza, chops, meat pie, chicken breast. Cook up a huge pot of bolognaise type meat sauce, freeze in 'him size' portions, and defrost in microwave as needed to add to his plate along with your veg options. Oh and if you cook vegetables for you, throw grated cheese on top of his.

momtokgo

I do know how you are feeling. I am a gluten free vegan that cooks for a child with dairy, soy, one with dairy and nut allergies, and one vegetarian child, plus my meat and cheese loving husband. I will never ask my family, or expect my family, to change how they eat. (I didn't choose any of this btw, between celiac disease, allergies and intolerances, it where I ended up) I'm the one who cooks, so I make it work. When my husband cooks on the weekend, he makes it work too.

I cook one meal, but I put a lot of time and effort into making sure those meals have things that everyone can eat. We all eat the part(s) that we can eat, and it works out in the end.

SuzyLy

I've always done the cooking and don't like meat that much. What I've always done is cook the regular meal to a point, take my portion out and continue to prepare it for my husband. Little things, like leaving the cheese out of a dinner salad on mine or just changing out the dressing is common. For a meat substitute, I'd give myself another vegetable or two. Lately, he's trying to lose a little bit of weight, so he has to suffer with a thinner coat of peanut butter on his morning toast, etc., but no complaints.

misskerouac

I do know how you are feeling. I am a gluten free vegan that cooks for a child with dairy, soy, one with dairy and nut allergies, and one vegetarian child, plus my meat and cheese loving husband. I will never ask my family, or expect my family, to change how they eat. (I didn't choose any of this btw, between celiac disease, allergies and intolerances, it where I ended up) I'm the one who cooks, so I make it work. When my husband cooks on the weekend, he makes it work too.

I cook one meal, but I put a lot of time and effort into making sure those meals have things that everyone can eat. We all eat the part(s) that we can eat, and it works out in the end.

our house is the same, I have hella intolerances and try to eat quite healthy, my husband would eat fried chicken and bacon every night if he could.

I usually make one thing we can both eat whether it's the side dish or the main course and usually the rest of the stuff is different (different meat, or different types of pasta)

Irish_eyes75

My husband struggles with his weight as much as I do. He gets pretty obsessed with it and when he does I shut down. He'll freak out over losing 8lbs in a week. He also weighs himself every day and will literally punch a wall if he's up one day, knowing full well he'll be down the next.
He is too wrapped up in his weight to support my struggles and I feel his anger over losing "ONLY 11lbs" in 2 weeks is rediculous and want no part in the conversation.
Unfortunately we're in the same battle but it's every man for himself. I kind of wish I was doing this alone.

SteffieMark

I think it would totally suck if my mate was the one who cooked and all of a sudden they wanted to change to a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle lol. I do all the cooking for my husband, and he pretty much eats anything I make him-but I wouldn't stick him with such a drastic lifestyle change. Are you sure of your reasons for going vegan/vegetarian? People do lose weight without going through such drastic measures (not to knock anyone who *IS* vegan or vegetarian) it just seems like a very drastic lifestyle change.

You could always make him his portion of meat, make the sides without meat products, and separately from the meat, and just eat the side dishes.

I agree with this.

My husband is very supportive and we do not always eat the same things. He works and I don't. So, on days I want something he will not like, I cook his separate. It doesn't bother me as I have all the time in the world. If I worked outside my home, I might not be so accommodating!

hthrld

I don't even know where to start. The only time my SO has anything to say about the healthier lifestyle I am trying to live is when I don't go to the gym for a few days. He always tells me how gross my food looks. He has no confidence that I can succeed. A long time ago, he told me that he NEEDED me to lose weight. I am not doing this for him, I am doing this for me. Having no support at home completely sucks. I get more support here on MFP from complete strangers than from the father of my own daughter.

End of rant.

sailorsiren13

We eat 2 or 3 "meatless" meals a week and then if i don't want what i cook for everyone else i just hit the leftovers or eat a salad. we consider ourselves Flexatarian. Hope this helps. (oh and he eats junk like it's going out of style but it's junk i don't like so i'm not tempted) :laugh:

thelovelyLIZ

My boyfriend has been a really good sport about my healthy cooking, and he's actually found he really likes all of it, and has lost quite a bit of weight too. We've both gotten healthy together, which has been awesome. The one thing he was less than thrilled about was when I told him my plan for becoming a "part time" vegetarian. He likes his meat, his beef especially, and so sometimes he really isn't into having a meatless meal. It works out well for us though, because we usually will take care of our own breakfasts and lunches so I eat those meals veg, and dinner we will rotate off between a vegetarian and a meat dinners. This week we had pork loin and steak for dinner, but last week it was black bean burgers and vegetarian chili. It's been a good compromise for both of us.

Polly758

Well, tempted to say just tell him to cook for himself, but know that if it was that easy Ii would have taken my own advice years ago... lol. Just cook what every you want for yourself and add some easy to prepare protein for him eg sausages, steak, eggs, frozen pizza, chops, meat pie, chicken breast. Cook up a huge pot of bolognaise type meat sauce, freeze in 'him size' portions, and defrost in microwave as needed to add to his plate along with your veg options. Oh and if you cook vegetables for you, throw grated cheese on top of his.

Good ideas. And, one of you ought to learn how to use a crock pot. Easy and, well, not quick, but easy

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2005/01/table-of-contents-year-of-slow-cooking.html
has some great recipes.

And if you are both working full time jobs, I hope he is doing some major housecleaning / child care / etc since he is not cooking. Otherwise not cool and not fair.

bikhi

reading these make me so thankful i am single.

graciousdove

HAHA bikhi! I have only been married a year now so I still remember how much easier this was when I was single!

I don't expect him to change the way that he eats, I just want him to be willing to compromise a little or be willing to help out with the meals, but oh well, he works hard too and deserves whatever meal he wants.

Thank you everyone for the great tips and support! I'm so glad that I am not alone and you all have really given me great advice and encouragement! Having a common side is an excellent idea and I am going to start prepping my raw vegetables ahead of time!

Thank you everyone!

ishallnotwant

I'm glad you've gotten some good ideas from this thread, graciousdove! I hope you are able to make them work for you and your mate. :flowerforyou: