This is not a diet, it is a lifestyle, a journey!

crazylizz

So I have been overweight since puberty and obese since my mid 20's. Many factors played into this and most were more emotional than anything. Don't get me wrong, I like food, however lack of self esteem and well meaning but ego attacking comments did not help.

I have tried so many times and for so many reasons to lose weight with little or no success. I have done some very popular and good diets and some very unsafe one's. I even put myself in the hospital once from malnutrition due to a crazy weight loss scheme. Let me just say, the original Nutrisystem was definitely not nutritious!

Now, I am older and hopefully wiser. Dieting is no longer about pleasing someone else, looking good to someone else or fitting into societies molds. Actually I am not even dieting.

What then am I doing! I am embarking on a healthy lifestyle. Now don't get me wrong, I have a friend who was the catalyst for this change. I also have built up a wonderful support system since embarking on this journey, but this is my journey and it is now about me. It is about being able to walk more than 10 feet without getting short of breath, not avoiding stairs anymore for fear of someone seeing how hard they are for me. It is about taking back control of my health, getting my blood pressure back under control, improving my heart function and nipping diabetes in the bud. It is also about moving more, making better choices and eating for nutrition not just because it is there and tastes good.

One of the most difficult things for me on this journey is accepting failure. Yes, accepting that I am not perfect and will have bad days, give into temptation and make excuses and not exercise. However what I have learned is failure is not permanent unless I allow it. In the past, I would go on a diet, be all enthusiastic, lose some weight and then boom! I would have a pig out day or not exercise for a while and I would give up. I succumbed to the idea that I had failed and that was all there was to it. I would never be successful so I might as well give up and accept that I will be fat and unhealthy forever. WRONG!

I now know that I do not have to accept failure as the end. I do have to accept that I will fail at times but I also KNOW I can get past the failure and move on to success. Soon the successes outweigh the failure and the results are much better.

I have lost 62 lbs in the last 18 months or so. I still have A LOT of weight to lose, about 130 lbs or so, however I know I WILL do it! I will have bad days, and lost exercise opportunities but I will also have great days, clean eating days, wonderful exercise sessions.

It is all part of the journey, my journey to health!

susanswan

Hi Liz - Great post. You are doing what it takes and realizing that it is a process. you certainly cannot control everything that comes your way but you are doing a great job in controlling you. 62 pounds lost is an awesome amount and you are adding years to your life with the changes you are making. Coming to the realization that you are not perfect and can have bad days but still have a good day tomorrow is powerful. As they say about the stock market - Past performance is not a prediction of future performance. Just because you failed in the past does not mean you can't succeed today. You are succeeding and you are closer to your goal every day. The things you learn about your self and about how to succeed on a daily basis will carry you through! Congratulations on a job well done so far!