Help.

sunshine_gem

Ok, so. These past few weeks have been pretty ****ty. I've been going through some HUGE emotional stress due to a massive realisation/acceptance of something that happened to me. My problem is that I am an emotional eater (amongst other things) and now that my emotions have been running rampant, my motivation for eating healthily and exercising have just gone.....mostly the other way! I've been eating crap, not exercising nearly enough and pretty much just sitting on my *kitten*. I'm annoyed with myself but I can't seem to stop doing it. I was so positive about doing this new change way back at the beginning but all that positivity has just gone. My depression is rearing its ugly head and I'm getting out of control. I don't want to be the way I am. Actually, I don't want to be me right now but there's not a great lot I can do about that. I need to find some way to get my motivation back but I just don't know how to push through the wall. And it's a big wall. I'm so frustrated and just completely at a loss of how to get myself back on track. I don't even know what anyone else can do but I post this in the hope that someone may have any ideas.

EvilMomma

Tonight sit down and write out a reasonable day by day plan for the next week (7 days) for eating, exercise, and chores. Make sure it is REASONABLE. Then forgive yourself whatever it is you need to forgive yourself and, start over tomorrow. If you follow the plan, great! If you don't, see why you didn't (without blame), adjust, and start over the next morning. One day at a time, sweetheart. It works.

RuthSweetTooth

If you can get yourself to exercise, you will start feeling more in control and it will help you rise out of your depression and be successful in other areas.

acmilan11

I agree with the two previous comments. Tomorrow is a new day!!!

jerbear1962

OK you say, you don't want to be you...change yourself. lose some weight become the new and improved you. Use that pent up energy for good. Eating that bad food doesn't make things any better...just think I could sit down eat a whole bag of Reese's but what did that do for me...it added more weight for me to lose, it raised my blood sugar dangerously high, was it worth all that for that moment of enjoyment or relief. No it's not worth it...get back on track and change...Good Luck

mkcmurphy

The day by day plan sounds like a good next step. And I know that exercising always makes me feel better, too. Sometimes that first step or two puts a crack in the wall, and the rest starts to come. Give yourself time and patience. If you pray, pray. But every step counts!

KeriW626

I have issues with excercise as well. I used to walk 3 to 4 miles a day. Now I cannot leave home alone. So I started dancing a bit over 2 weeks ago. Ive since lost about 3 inches, doesnt sound like much, but is sure shows. I use some of the dance steps and arm movements I have learned from areobics. I know have biceps, calf muscles, (my cankles are gone) . I dance for 20 to 30 mins 5 days a week. I sweat so bad for about 45 mins after I stop dancing. I sweat so much, i have to continually wipe my face, and put a towel on the sofa so I wont get it all yucky. I also found if you dance backwards, you can feel the burn in your inner and outter thighs. im going to start using weighs so I can get my triceps built up.

So just put on your favorite music and boogie away, it doesnt matter what kind of dancing. just boogie down. Enjoy... I hope this helps,..

Keri

leighanngates

Yes, ditto what the first two have said. Do try to make a plan and try to stick to it, BUT know in your heart that whether you do or don't, you are still a loveable, worthy person who deserves good things. I am an emotional eater too, so I completely understand that addiction. I had to realize that my past doesn't define me, and that I need to lose weight BECAUSE I'm worthy, NOT "in order to be" worthy. I wish there was something we could all say to ease your hurt, but just know that we are here for you. (((HUG)))

Fenomka

I understand exactly what you're going through. I've been there, myself. I know how hard it can be to pull back out of the funk, and find the motivation you need to get back in gear, and get your life back to a happy place. So I'll tell you what I do, and hopefully, something in here will help you with your own healing.

first, deep breathing is HUGE. when I feel like the emotion is just getting to much, I find a quiet place, close my eyes, and take nice, even, deep breaths, letting them out slow. if nothing else, it helps bring my heart rate down, but I've also found it gives me a jolt of energy and helps stimulate endorphins and get me feeling better.

second, start small. If I've completely fallen off the "healthy" wagon, I pick one place to start over at a time - for me, I'm on medication, so it almost always starts there. then, I refocus on my food, and getting my calories and consumption back in the right place. Once I've gotten those two things back in line, it's only a small step to start feeling enough positive energy to get myself moving around, again.

Third, trusting your support structure. I have a husband, a therapist, a fitness trainer (AND his assistant) friends at work, family and friends at home, and a whole slew of people on here, and on Facebook that I know are all rooting for me. When I'm ready to start working through things, the first person I go to is my husband, and talk to him about what I'm feeling. If nothing else, it really helps to just talk about it, but sometimes he comes back with some great advice that, being in the middle of the problem, I might not have thought of, that turns out REALLY helping me. If I'm still struggling, I take it to my Therapist, who again is a great listening ear, but more importantly, she gives me some great techniques for dealing with the issue, and working through it to (hopefully) make it not an issue any more or ever again. And though I may not go into the whole problem on Facebook, I will quite often ask people to Pray for me, or send good thoughts my way, while I deal with it. Just knowing that there are people out there who care about me, and want to see me succeed can sometimes help me pull out of my funk enough to get started for their sake, which eventually turns back into working for my own sake, again.

Anyway, like I said, I hope at least some of this helps you. I know that every day can be a struggle but try to remember you're not alone. We're all here for you, rooting for you, and we will all cheer for your successes, and do our best to encourage you past your struggles.

KeriW626

as for food. I just spent about 2 hours getting all our veggies and fruits ready to eat. we got a bag of free green beans, some went into snack sized bags, the rest are in a bowl, no lid. ready to snag and eat. so ended up with two kinds of grapes, cauliflower, free zuccini, and green beans.. they are all ready to eat, and we know the measurements, basically how full a dessert bowl is to be 100 calories or less. haha. we will not have to buy any more grapes this year. my grapes are green and ready to pick and eat. My daughter has a ton of seed less concords, I can pick at any time, I will also be receiving a bag of green beans weekly as well as zuccinii. I shreded some for bread (christmas gifts) the rest I will be eatting as snack food. It all prepped in bags, and I will be getting some weekly for free... I love neighbors who like to trade produce with us. We have cucumbers. that is our bed time snack... mmm So my fridge is stuffed to the gills with healthy ready to eat foods. and Since we joing MFP our food bill has been cut in 1/2. very nice. ...

Robin_Bin

You can do it.
There will be set-backs. But you're still here and still trying. That's the most important thing.
Next although it's fine to try to change multiple things in your lifestyle at once, it can be overwhelming. For some people it's easier to jump in and change everything at once. Other people need to go one step at a time.
Each time you have a set-back, learn from it. What works for someone else may not work for you. So, learn what works for you. If you learn something each time, then it was really just an important step in your path. As long as you do not give up, you've made progress -- even though it may not feel like it at the time -- when you learn how to continue despite difficulties.
We will all have roadblocks or stumbling points. Some people stumble over rocks that seem like boulders to others, while to still others they are pebbles.

You've hit some obstacles that were difficult for you, and you're still here. That's great! Be proud of yourself. Remember that some people never get that far.

Have you found some healthier food choices that work for you?
Are you more active or exercising more than you did?
Have you learned what some of your triggers are for the behaviors you are trying to stop?
Are you drinking more water?
Do you recognize when you are eating from stress rather than hunger?
Have you looked for other alternatives that may be better than what you were doing?
(I know the answer to this one is "yes" because you are here asking for this help.)
Do you know more about how to eat healthy now?
Are you still ahead of where you were when you started?
(Your ticker says 6 lb lost, so it looks like you are ahead of your starting point.)
Have you found ways to reward yourself for progress that don't involve food?

Any positive answers to these questions are steps in the right direction. Keep taking those steps. Work on one piece of progress or a few at a time... whichever is best for you. I bet we'll see success stories from you after awhile.

Oh, and while you're writing down your daily steps or goals, how about writing two things you did right each day? They can be small things. Some examples might be
* exercised more than yesterday
* met my water (fiber, vitamin C, etc.) goal
* ate a healthy breakfast (even if you messed up at dinner, you got this right)
* tracked everything I ate
* learned a new exercise

Sorry for the very long response... hope at least part of it is helpful.
And when you don't want to vent or share with your local support group, you always have us here at MFP.

sunshine_gem

Thank you to everyone for your comments and support. I like the idea of writing down a plan and trying to stick to it. I know logically that it needs to be a step by step/day by day process but sometimes I just forget and let everything get on top of me. If I have a daily goal written down then that might help me to re-focus.
I do have a good support system but I have this habit (that I'm working on) of not telling people things because I think they don't really wanna hear about my bad stuff or that they're sick of hearing about it. It took a lot even to write it on here. I also have a habit of not letting others see when I'm out of control, even when I was in therapy (and I've had a lot). By that I mean out of control of myself and my emotions. I'm known for being the strong, unflappable, solid one but I'm really not. It's just a facade I project. I can name on 1 hand the amount of people in my entire life who've seen me break down.

It seems like such a huge mountain at the moment. I just have to keep reminding myself to take it small. Every step counts no matter how small it is.

Thanks guys :flowerforyou:

KravMark

One of my favorite sayings is " what we cant do alone we can all do together" . Gemmy your making big steps getting honest with yourself and others about being out of control. The funny thing about sharing your heart with others is we find out other people have gone through many of the same things we're going through.

Hope that helps,
Mark.

Traceyrohrer

I am in the exact same boat. You just told my story exactly, so I know how you feel. It is very scary hopefully we will get ideas how to take down the wall we have infront of us. Good Luck!!

seximami79

Try all of the above, plus seek therapy if needed to help process what is making you depressed and spend time with like-minded people who want to eat healthily and exercise. I am super busy, so I generally multi-task by meeting up with friends and working out or going to a healthy grocery store. We all have humps and dips, and you can get through this

thedancingleper

When my mother died and my bipolar relapsed at around the same time I lost motivation as well... what I did was instead of making it an every day thing, I made it something to aim for every hour. I took it just tidbits at a time. I wrote down one task to do each hour and one health-related goal. I did gain some weight, but not like I could have.

I guess my point is, take it in moments. Examine one decision as you come to it and write down hourly goals, not long term ones.

Good luck and I hope you have better times soon.

Traceyrohrer

I have been exercising but still eating like crap. Feel like I cant get it back under control so depressed. I do the same thing everytime I lose weight. Dont know why I cant keep going and getting to my goal weight. I was doing so good at eating and exercising now I fell off the eating healthy wagon. I have spent alot of time at the hospital with my brother-in-law, who has brain cancer but that is no excuse to eat like this. My sister-in-law has stage 3 liver damage and I have been so worried about her. Still that is no excuse so why cant I do this???

Robin_Bin

Travel. Time in the hospital (whether as a patient or helping one). Depression. Injury. Periods of stress due to a move, job change, loss of a loved one, major change in life situation (even a good one), limited budget, divorce, limited time...

We all have challenges. I'm very impressed by some of the people here who have overcome some huge sets of challenges!

Sometimes during an especially stressful or difficult period, you may not be able to make as much progress. Maybe you will need to adjust your current goals for a short time to maintaining -- just keep steady for a bit, use the time to regroup and then take it to next level, add goals and improve.

It's not always smooth sailing or smooth progress. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back... and that's hard, especially if you set your expectations very high. One thing that sometimes helps is to consider how you would treat someone else in your situation -- would you be as hard on them as you are on yourself? Could you be kinder to yourself? (That doesn't mean that everything goes, but it does mean you can forgive yourself and encourage yourself to do better, just as you would with a friend you sympathized with and respected.)

Keep on...

sunshine_gem

Again, thanks to everyone. I've taken it all on board and trying to remember baby steps! I made a plan for today and I stuck to it. Mostly. I've made another one for tomorrow and I'll try and stick to that. And so on and so on. Hopefully getting there

Robin_Bin

Congratulations on sticking to your day's plan!