Recovering from an Eating Disorder?
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I am in the process of recovering and trying to regain weight. I have had an ED since the age of 6 and am about to turn 20 so it has literally been my life. After a push (actually a lot of pushes) from my nutritionist I increased cals, and then slipped off the wagon a little bit, but now I am eating 2000 calories and significantly more fat and losing weight. Currently I am 5'7" and 100 lbs. The weird thing is I was gaining eating 1800 and even moreso eating 1500, but then increasing the calories led to weight loss. It's funny because at one point I was around 2300 calories and increased there from 2000 by 100 calorie increments, but I strangely only got myself to increase when I started gaining weight. So I ate 2000 cals for a bit and lost a lot, then gained .2 lbs overnight (yes I weigh daily, it's bad but oh well, and yes I know .2 isn't significant but in the moment it was) and freaked out and got pushed to increase cals anyway. So went to 2100 and then lost a ton overnight...same thing happened a few days later gained .2 lbs and increased, then lost a bunch for next few days and so on. So idk if that reassures you, but sometimes increasing is the best way to rev the metabolism (apparently there is some magic about eating 2500 calories for this to happen) and get weight loss going.0
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I've never had an ED, but I'm super proud of you for not only admitting it, but seeking help. You'll get there.0
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Wow. Our stories seem so similar. Without getting into too much detail, I have been struggling with eating issues for over half my life. I too have been through therapy. It took me FOREVER to realize that eating like a "normal" person would not make me gain a billion pounds over night. What helped with me was starting to eat tiny portions of healthy things (like baby carrots or grapes) 4 times a day, and work myself up slowly until I was eating relatively normally. I still struggle daily. I don't know what its like to not be thinking about calories, or weight, or dieting literally from the time I get up til the time I go to sleep. Recently, I gained several pounds back due to stress, and even though I am at a normal weight for my height (5'6 and 140 pounds) I feel myself slipping back into the habit of obsessing about everything even worse. (FYI- I've been married for 8 years and my husband has never known exactly what I weigh. it was hard to even type out the number)
Anyway, I'm rambling. My point is you're not alone. If you ever need to talk or vent I'm here for you. And that goes for anyone else out here who feels like this. Sometimes it feels like there is safety in numbers.0
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