Finding a happy medium..

plussized

So, there are times where I've hated being fat, and times I've been ok with it. However, ever since I have fallen off the wagon (hard, may I add) I've been struggling to be happy with me while I lose weight.

I'm just starting to get back into the game and so far so good. However, when I look in the mirror I can't help but think things like ,"You'll be so much more attractive when you lose the rest of this weight." I HATE THINKING LIKE THAT. I hate that I am allowing myself to say those things, sometimes aloud, when I know I'm in the process of learning and trying to better myself.

So how can I help see myself for what I truly am and be happy with it, while on this weight loss journey. If I don't find some self confidence now, it isn't going to come when the weight comes off.

briblue72

I don't know how to teach someone to have self confidence - especially a stranger. Are you married or have a significant other or even a best friend? Hopefully they're encouraging you along the way.

The best encouragement I got along the way was from friends and my husband who watched me make better choice day in and day out... "you are looking so good!" "You have amazing will power." "Is there anything I can help you with?" It's so powerful!! It really made me celebrate my own success having so many other people cheering me on.

I encourage everyone to get a support network going. And while MFP is great, it's soooo important to have "real life" friends with you, too. Ones that won't ask you out for milkshakes when they know you're trying to avoid them. Friends that you can tell your goals to - friends that will listen to your goals and HELP you achieve them. I used to work with a bunch of "skinny minis" who ate whatever they wanted and could maintain their beautiful figures. They got fast food for lunch every day (and so did I in my heavier days). I told them to just not even ask me if I wanted anything when they went out for lunch. I brought mine daily and would sit right next to them gabbing like always with my healthier food. Every now and then, I'd get a fry tossed my way, but it was one fry, not a bag of them! And sometimes I'd ask for a bite, and like a good friend, they told me "Do you really want it?" :laugh: :laugh:


Good luck - you're moving in the right direction. Sorry I can't tell you how to be proud of yourself. For me, it came when others were proud of me. And to get them proud, I had to show them how hard I was working for it, how bad I wanted it, and how amazing the results were!
:flowerforyou:

ilike2moveit

Studies have proven that self-confidence comes from effort and doing everything we can to achieve a goal. Teachers are taught to praise a child's efforts and not just give out praises like "you are great at math", (because kids know whether they are or not) Instead teachers are taught to praise the child's efforts and say, "you tried really hard," or "I like how you tried even if it wasn't correct," etc. Self esteem does not come from praising ourselves it comes from knowing you are doing everything within your power to achieve-and knowing that you will mess up, but in spite of the mess up you will continue to try! I hope this helps you! You can and will do it. BEST WISHES!:flowerforyou:

chgudnitz

This ones tough. It's tough for me to respond to since I've been EXACTLY where you are. I used to tell myself the same thing. I would literally stand at a mirror and say out loud "You would be so much more attractive if you lost weight" or not as nice "if you weren't fat"

Being in the process of improving your health and learning how to have a healthier lifestyle doesn't make certain things go away. To you, you think you will be more attractive at a lower weight. In all honesty, to the majority of people you probably will be too. That's not just you, but for all of us trying to lose weight. If you want to talk about being a beautiful person, that's different. Who you are inside won't change from losing weight. If you are a beautiful person inside, people see that. But for outward attraction, you, as well as I, were probably right.

Gain your self confidence in knowing you are doing a good thing for yourself. You're improving your health and your quality of life. Get confidence from the person you are inside, grow to love who you are on the outside.

When you said you won't get it when the weight comes off, this isn't neccessarily true. That's the first time in my life I found mine. Stick to this, or any program that helps you better your health. If you think you're crashing off this wagon again, send me a message, I'll talk you through it as best I can.

Good luck.