What are you thoughts on this?

CarmenSantiago

I have been debating with my boyfriend for some time now on the subject of abstinence when it comes to food and my addiction to it. My boyfriend feels because I have a weakness for sweets I should stay away from all sweets regardless if they are sugar free treats or low calorie sweets. He said they are just enough to almost be the real thing but that my mind will know they aren't and then will want the real thing. He puts it like this; an alcoholic would not be able to sip a drink during the day then not want another one. Even drinking a non alcoholic drink like O' Doul's will make an alcoholic want the real thing. He said that it's just walking a slippery slope. I very much see where he is coming from. I agree with his logic...to a point.

I feel that when I am craving something sweet and I reach for a sugar free pudding, log it, and eat it then that takes care of that want, that need, and then I don't need anything further. The only time personally that I want something "real" is when I'm not doing good in the first place. Then it's on. But I find if I don't start with the "real" stuff then I don't have a lot of problems staying away from it. Especially if something else is filling that void.

So, I vacillate with this. While my boyfriend feels that I am setting myself up for failure by not abstaining completely from these "triggers". I can't walk away from M&M's, I don't know moderation or I wouldn't be here. So, I don't eat M&M's. But I feel that if my needs are met with something that is sugar free or low fat; again in moderation then it's actually better for my psyche.

What are your thoughts? What way do you lean on this?

Thanks for any feedback. I'm very curious how other's see this.


Carmen :smokin:

chrissyh

For me if its prohibited I want it more. I will choose better options for sweets like Yogurt, fruits, reduced fat nilla wafers (a single serving), 100 calorie puddings, it's not a staple but knowing I can have it if I am "needing" a fix, I have less need for it.

JDHINAZ

I JUST had this conversation with my sister in law. My Mother in law is diabetic, so her kids take her sugar free candy. The problem is, sugarfree candy usually has sugar alcohols, or other substitutes that your body ends up treating the same as regular sugar. If that's the case, it can cause your blood sugar to drop, and then you're left craving something else.

That being said, I don't think you can paint such a broad stroke as to say "if you have sweets, you will fail". Everyone is different. Only you know how you act. But, if you do know it's a weakness, the problem isn't eating the sweets, it's how you deal with what's causing you to want the sweets. If it's hunger, then eat something more nutritious. If it's emotional, then eating isn't the answer, (although God knows I wish it were), so you have to find out why you're emotional and deal the the cause, not the symptom.

Dang, that one semester of college psych is paying off. That will be 10cents, please.
Session over.

BTW, hope you're doing well!!! Good to see you!

CarmenSantiago

I agree that is what I forgot to add. I feel like a little kid when I am denied which makes me pout and want it even more. Great point!

Thanks for the response.

amathus

The one thing I know as a sugar addict is that if I cut myself off from them completely, I'll fall way, way off the wagon and binge. And I figure that as long as I'm under my calorie limit, what does it matter what I eat, as long as my whole diet doesn't consist of only Nerds (a personal favorite).

I don't allow myself to buy sweets in bulk (like the Halloween bags, for example) or usually even a whole candy bar, but if I happen across a small amount, I'm not going to stay away from it.

Tonight, for example, I'm still 180 calories shy of my limit. I'm going to take a little snack off the Halloween candies tonight, and maybe a beer.

elephantmeg

my thoughts (and while I'm new this go around I have lost 40 lbs previously-2 kids ago so I've spent a lot of time loosing weight!) is moderation with sugar free stuff or even small regular sugar stuff is the only way I stay sane. If I cut out ALL sweets-candy, cookies, puddings etc I end up giving up and binging. I think comparing it to alcohol abuse isn't a good analogy.

NB_Lady

Well, I'm sure not immune to cravings or an example you want to follow BUT I believe if you're logging your calories and the treats are within your goals then you should go for it. If a sugar free pudding leads you to to a chocolate bar, then you might want to reexamine (is that a word??).

I know for me, to deprive myself of the things I really enjoy would not work for the long term- so one chocolate as opposed to a whole bar works better for me.

Good luck.........can't wait till they find the magic pill where we can eat whatever we want

barbiecat

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: I found that the longer I stay completely away from sugar, artificial sweeteners, and all sorts of real and fake desserts, the easier it is. There is so much you can eat that nourishes your body that it makes no sense to me to eat anything that doesn't nourish me.

It has worked so far. :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

justjenny89

Almost all the articles I've seen that deal with this subject say NOT to deprive yourself of what you're craving, but instead to have some without overindulging. Your approach seems fine to me.

I know how it is to crave something sweet. I have a huge sweet tooth myself that refuses to be ignored. The more I try to ignore it, the worse it gets. The way I try to handle it is by keeping only one kind of sweet around at a time (my personal favorites are Little Debbie snack cakes) and making sure to log it, to remind myself that even though it tastes fabulous, it's not something I want to eat a million of. Also, since I limited myself to one kind at a time, I don't eat it as often as I used to. It's almost like the less I eat, the less I want. Hm...I feel like I read somewhere that the taste for sugar is acquired, since it's not a natural food source...

I say don't make it any harder on yourself than it has to be. Moderation is key.

ivykivy

I start off saying I abhor artificial sweetners- all of them.

I agree with your boyfriend. No sugar substitutes. They can become just as addictive as real sugar. Why not have a banana instead of 100 calorie pudding?

But honestly, if it is working for you and it fills your sugar craving go for it. Just be aware of the frequency you are eating them.

CasperO

I keep small bitesize portions of chocolate in the fridge. Good chocolate, the real cacao stuff, or Symphony, or some quality truffles. When I want/need one I grab one, maybe two. I savor it, really enjoy it. And then I'm good for a day or 3. I log them, and if I have to knock out some cardio to earn it I do it.

I know that if I blow this off too long I'll be innocently shopping for motor oil and I'll be attacked by a big 8 ounce Hershey Symphony bar and I'll stupidly blow about a week of hard work. It is what it is. I love chocolate, and I don't want to live my life without it. But I've learned to control it and not let it control me.

twilight1542

Everyone's different! That being said, personally, cold turkey & deprivation are sure-fire sabotage for me. So I can have anything I want! But that doesn't mean I eat everything that looks good. If I have extra calories & want something sweet I do, but never if I don't have extra calories. What I've found is that this has made me stop craving most bad things. I absolutely love pizza, but the last couple times I had the chance to have some my big healthy dinner was more appealing than 2 slices of pizza totaling 100 or more calories. I've found that a full belly is more appealing to me than a small ampunt of bad food. As a matter of fact, most fast food is totally unappealing, if not nauseating, to me now that I don't eat it on a daily basis...Even subway is unappealing b/c of the sodium content in their meat...water retention of not cool!

So do what you think is best not what the signifigant other thinks is best b/c he's not the one who has to live with the decision. So that's my 2 cents...Hope it's helpful

AmandaB4588

One thing that may help you is to satisfy your sweet tooth with natural, alternative sweeteners like honey. Heck, even some sweet melon may help!
(Of course, I am just saying these things because grabbing a sweet piece of fruit does NOT help me. But it is worth a shot!)

With that said, I think we are all looking to make lifestyle changes. Sometimes in life, we want something sweet!! I have found that denying myself only leads to a crazy binge later. I think choosing a healthier alternative is a good way to go, even if it's not as healthy as a sweet piece of fruit.

Have you ever tried the weight watchers ice creams?? They are awesome!

BrendaLee

If you can have a little, or have a less-sinful sweet treat and be OK, then more power to you! Some of us aren't that strong, and your bf's advice fits the bill. I need to take his advice, because I'm an all or nothing kind of person.

CarmenSantiago

I JUST had this conversation with my sister in law. My Mother in law is diabetic, so her kids take her sugar free candy. The problem is, sugarfree candy usually has sugar alcohols, or other substitutes that your body ends up treating the same as regular sugar. If that's the case, it can cause your blood sugar to drop, and then you're left craving something else.

That being said, I don't think you can paint such a broad stroke as to say "if you have sweets, you will fail". Everyone is different. Only you know how you act. But, if you do know it's a weakness, the problem isn't eating the sweets, it's how you deal with what's causing you to want the sweets. If it's hunger, then eat something more nutritious. If it's emotional, then eating isn't the answer, (although God knows I wish it were), so you have to find out why you're emotional and deal the the cause, not the symptom.

Dang, that one semester of college psych is paying off. That will be 10cents, please.
Session over.

BTW, hope you're doing well!!! Good to see you!



Thank you for your response and it is so GREAT to see you also. I was away for awhile but I've been back on track and doing really, really, well.

You are dead on about filling the emotional need with sweets, or anything else for that matter. For me I physically crave something sweet a lot. I do eat apples, bananas, grapes, and other fruit but a lot of times I just need or maybe it's just WANT something that feels like a "sin" but isn't. I stay away from most of the sugar free candy as I don't deal well with sugar alcohols.


I know that the whole food addiction for me IS just a symptom of deeper issues. Trying to control food is just putting a bandaid on it in the first place, but I know I have to control what I eat or I will gain my weight back. I definitely make better choices now then I have in the past.

Thanks for the session. I owe you. LOL

mommy22

I keep small bitesize portions of chocolate in the fridge. Good chocolate, the real cacao stuff, or Symphony, or some quality truffles. When I want/need one I grab one, maybe two. I savor it, really enjoy it. And then I'm good for a day or 3. I log them, and if I have to knock out some cardio to earn it I do it.

I know that if I blow this off too long I'll be innocently shopping for motor oil and I'll be attacked by a big 8 ounce Hershey Symphony bar and I'll stupidly blow about a week of hard work. It is what it is. I love chocolate, and I don't want to live my life without it. But I've learned to control it and not let it control me.

This seems like awesome advice.

CarmenSantiago

my thoughts (and while I'm new this go around I have lost 40 lbs previously-2 kids ago so I've spent a lot of time loosing weight!) is moderation with sugar free stuff or even small regular sugar stuff is the only way I stay sane. If I cut out ALL sweets-candy, cookies, puddings etc I end up giving up and binging. I think comparing it to alcohol abuse isn't a good analogy.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate your opinion.

Food addiction is more insidious then alcohol addiction because we can't abstain from food. What my bf is trying to say is that since I can't abstain from food altogether I have to abstain from the foods that "mimic" my trigger; which is sweets.

It is different for each individual. I think it is all about finding what works for you and following that.

Thanks again, good luck to you!

CarmenSantiago

The one thing I know as a sugar addict is that if I cut myself off from them completely, I'll fall way, way off the wagon and binge. And I figure that as long as I'm under my calorie limit, what does it matter what I eat, as long as my whole diet doesn't consist of only Nerds (a personal favorite).

I don't allow myself to buy sweets in bulk (like the Halloween bags, for example) or usually even a whole candy bar, but if I happen across a small amount, I'm not going to stay away from it.

Tonight, for example, I'm still 180 calories shy of my limit. I'm going to take a little snack off the Halloween candies tonight, and maybe a beer.

I think it's great that you can moderate what you eat and stick to your limit. If that works for you; that is awesome.

Good Luck!

CarmenSantiago

If you can have a little, or have a less-sinful sweet treat and be OK, then more power to you! Some of us aren't that strong, and your bf's advice fits the bill. I need to take his advice, because I'm an all or nothing kind of person.

Brendalee we are exactly alike. I am an all or nothing girl, everything is black or white. I can't have a handful of M&M's, or a bitesize candy bar or 2 or 3 and be done with it. That just isn't me. Again, if I knew moderation I wouldn't be where I'm at.

Good Luck to you!

CarmenSantiago

One thing that may help you is to satisfy your sweet tooth with natural, alternative sweeteners like honey. Heck, even some sweet melon may help!
(Of course, I am just saying these things because grabbing a sweet piece of fruit does NOT help me. But it is worth a shot!)

With that said, I think we are all looking to make lifestyle changes. Sometimes in life, we want something sweet!! I have found that denying myself only leads to a crazy binge later. I think choosing a healthier alternative is a good way to go, even if it's not as healthy as a sweet piece of fruit.

Have you ever tried the weight watchers ice creams?? They are awesome!

I love the WW ice creams. I have a hard time stopping at just one though; so I can't keep them around. I'm the same way about fruit. I love fruit but it doesn't fill that part of me that wants chocolate.


Thanks!

lessertess

I think it all depends on how you react to having a treat. If you are satisfied with a small treat and it doesn't cause you to crave more, then go for it. I don't think there's a real need to deny yourself. However, if that small treat is a "trigger" that causes you to want more or to eat badly then stay away from it.

I've personally found that my triggers are sneaky. At first I had one sugar free pudding snack, or one cookie, or one small snack size candy bar and I was fine. But, as time went on, I would do it more often during the week, then every day and then more than once a day.

I've pretty much decided it's a trigger and I need to stay away from it.

CasperO

I think it all depends on how you react to having a treat. If you are satisfied with a small treat and it doesn't cause you to crave more, then go for it. I don't think there's a real need to deny yourself. However, if that small treat is a "trigger" that causes you to want more or to eat badly then stay away from it.

I've personally found that my triggers are sneaky. At first I had one sugar free pudding snack, or one cookie, or one small snack size candy bar and I was fine. But, as time went on, I would do it more often during the week, then every day and then more than once a day.

I've pretty much decided it's a trigger and I need to stay away from it.

Now for me that's a packaging issue. An open package calls to me. I have to buy my goodies individually wrapped. 8 ounces of chocolate as a bag of truffles?-no problem, each truffle is happy in his little foil wrapper. I can grab one of monday and maybe forget about them until Wednesday. 8 ounces of chocolate as a big hershey bar?- Will actually wake me in the dead of night, calling from the fridge. "Casper---- I'm waiting,,,, come and get me!!!".

Ya', it's a mild mental health issue. I'm a little crazy. Fortunately, we all are, so I'm not lonesome. :bigsmile: