No Support At Home (Warning: Rant)

miss_grad

Ever since I lost a lot of weight, my family (uncle, grandmother) has been extremely insensitive about it... Sometimes I wonder if they are trying to sabotage my progress?

They come to me for advice on "how I did it", but they never really seem to take it to heart. Instead, they retaliate by bringing home pastries (bear claws, cinnabuns, croissants, danishes, you name it!), or they are constantly filling up the fridges (yes, fridgeS! We have TWO! And THREE freezers), so much that I can't fit my vegetables/fruits in there! It's madness.

I've even printed out paleolithic diet guides and they just wind up in the trash.

I feel so... disheartened. I've worked really hard for this. Due to some health complications, I've been getting very emotional lately and under the weather. Lo and behold, I'm one of those "emotional eaters". It's no secret where I live, either. I used to be over 200+lbs.

My family is verbally abusive. When I became "underweight" due to health complications, they went as far as to call me "disgusting" and "gross". It really wasn't up to me.. But it still hurts - they have even accused me of being eating disordered in public. Asking things like: "Are you starving yourself? / Do you make yourself throw-up?" Like, really? No. I worked my *kitten* off for months doing insanity, hiking, and running everyday. And before I lost the weight, they would call me "fat, overweight"... Mind you, my family isn't tiny either. Many of them are heavier than me. It's almost like some twisted power-struggle. I wish I wasn't so sensitive to it...

I've been staying on track... But am so tired of small set-backs. Can anyone else relate? How do you cope?

shellebelle87

As cliché as this is, you can't let them get you down. If they want to keep eating junk then let them be, but the next time they ask you for advice just say that you have told them time and time again how you did it, and what to change in their eating habits and if they arent going to pay attention then you arent going to help them anymore. You may have to be a bit harsh and they will probably sulk, but this is your achievement, and dont let anyone take that away from you. Just keep on truckin, and ignore them. And maybe move away and give yourself a break from them.


Edit: as for the setbacks, I have been falling off the wagon a million times lately. Get a good support group on here and forget everyone else.

emmy_494

I'm so sorry to hear this! It sounds like a really awful situation you've found yourself in. Do you normally stay quiet about it? Because I've learned that one good "shut up your really hurting me, and I don't see you putting forth any effort" burst can silence them for a while. Good for you for breaking out and losing the weight, not just staying comfortable with the family "norm". That's something to be VERY proud of, cause it can be very difficult!

miss_grad

As cliché as this is, you can't let them get you down. If they want to keep eating junk then let them be, but the next time they ask you for advice just say that you have told them time and time again how you did it, and what to change in their eating habits and if they arent going to pay attention then you arent going to help them anymore. You may have to be a bit harsh and they will probably sulk, but this is your achievement, and dont let anyone take that away from you. Just keep on truckin, and ignore them. And maybe move away and give yourself a break from them.


Edit: as for the setbacks, I have been falling off the wagon a million times lately. Get a good support group on here and forget everyone else.

Thank you for reading this. :flowerforyou: I appreciate it.

I mean, my boyfriend has supported me every step of the way. I'm blessed to have someone like that in my life. But at the same time, it doesn't seem fair to place that much burden on one person... So, this place is a godsend for me.

I'll probably look around for a support group.

SherryTeach

Um, have you considered seeking employment on the other side of the country from your family and starting a new life? I did that over 20 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I love my family. . . in small doses and 2000 miles away.

miss_grad

I'm so sorry to hear this! It sounds like a really awful situation you've found yourself in. Do you normally stay quiet about it? Because I've learned that one good "shut up your really hurting me, and I don't see you putting forth any effort" burst can silence them for a while. Good for you for breaking out and losing the weight, not just staying comfortable with the family "norm". That's something to be VERY proud of, cause it can be very difficult!

I used to NEVER say anything. I would just bottle myself up in my room (and probably with a bag of huge bag of chips). Now, I actually snap back. Since I started to stand up for myself, I suddenly have "anger" issues. The irony, since others refer to me as being one of the most patient people they know.

And thank you, for your kind words.

Um, have you considered seeking employment on the other side of the country from your family and starting a new life? I did that over 20 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I love my family. . . in small doses and 2000 miles away.

I need to finish college here... It would be incredibly financially unwise to leave at this point. My goal is to get my RN degree and then GTFO... But until then, it's just difficult coping here. Stress from school is more than enough.

cmeade20

I find a good old fashioned eff off and mind your own effing business works wonders. Sounds rude but some people need to be verbally slapped.

marti37

Do you think your family could be jealous of your success? I find when people continually put you down for doing something positive in any aspect of your life it is usually because 1. they are afraid to do it themselves or 2. afraid that the new improved you will leave them behind. Keep eating your healthy diet and exercising.. you may bring 1 of them to the bright side.

hayleeannie

As cliché as this is, you can't let them get you down. If they want to keep eating junk then let them be, but the next time they ask you for advice just say that you have told them time and time again how you did it, and what to change in their eating habits and if they arent going to pay attention then you arent going to help them anymore. You may have to be a bit harsh and they will probably sulk, but this is your achievement, and dont let anyone take that away from you. Just keep on truckin, and ignore them. And maybe move away and give yourself a break from them.


Edit: as for the setbacks, I have been falling off the wagon a million times lately. Get a good support group on here and forget everyone else.

Thank you for reading this. :flowerforyou: I appreciate it.

I mean, my boyfriend has supported me every step of the way. I'm blessed to have someone like that in my life. But at the same time, it doesn't seem fair to place that much burden on one person... So, this place is a godsend for me.

I'll probably look around for a support group.

Yep Yep. I can relate to that. MFP is the perfect place to get support. I feel that my relationship with my bf has gotten so much better now that I'm not constantly laying it all on him. I'm so sorry that the other people in your life are not supportive Just remember... you always have us to vent to

-haylee

SherryTeach

I'm so sorry to hear this! It sounds like a really awful situation you've found yourself in. Do you normally stay quiet about it? Because I've learned that one good "shut up your really hurting me, and I don't see you putting forth any effort" burst can silence them for a while. Good for you for breaking out and losing the weight, not just staying comfortable with the family "norm". That's something to be VERY proud of, cause it can be very difficult!

I used to NEVER say anything. I would just bottle myself up in my room (and probably with a bag of huge bag of chips). Now, I actually snap back. Since I started to stand up for myself, I suddenly have "anger" issues. The irony, since others refer to me as being one of the most patient people they know.

And thank you, for your kind words.

Um, have you considered seeking employment on the other side of the country from your family and starting a new life? I did that over 20 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I love my family. . . in small doses and 2000 miles away.

I need to finish college here... It would be incredibly financially unwise to leave at this point. My goal is to get my RN degree and then GTFO... But until then, it's just difficult coping here. Stress from school is more than enough.

Okay then, finish college and then be an a self-sufficient, independent woman. Good for you! Hopefully, you can surround yourself with friends who are supportive of your well-being.