over protective parents
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Is there a such thing? A friend of mine is catching hell from his wife about not being protective enough of there daughter. He's old school, he believes in spankings and punishments......his wife believes in the therapeutic way, talking, time out and cuddling. It drives him crazy. His wife allows there daughters friends to come over and spend the night but doesn't allow their kid to spend the night out for fear of sumthn happening. Their daughter us 7, and wants to b regular but is under mothers tight grip. Whts u guys opinion?
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Replies
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Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.0 -
At 7, you should have a tight grip on your kids.
They need to come to some middle ground about the discipline thing. Maybe talking and time outs first and if she keeps on with the same behavior, move on to something more harsh.
I let my son have sleep overs. I don't let him sleep out. I know what goes on in my house. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's.0 -
There is such a thing as over protective parenting. My parents were super overprotective and it caused me to rebel in every way possible. In the end, my parents loosened up and I calmed down. They learned from me (their first kid) and raised my sister differently and she respects their boundaries. Every kid is different, but I don't think over protective is beneficial in any case.0
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Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure0 -
i can understand the protectiveness. My boys i overprotected I invited 20-25 kids over to spend the night but if they were going somewhere i wanted to meet the parents, schedule pick up times etcx. They are both very respectful men now. As far as *kitten* whoppings..I didnt really spank them but a lot of chest popping if they got out of line.
I got whippings as a child and i am still not over it..lol.0 -
^^This. I would have never had a child with my husband if I thought we wouldn't be on the same page when it comes to parenting.Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
We're always on the same page when it comes to discipline and what we want for our child. Sure, we disagree from time to time, but not in such a drastic way.
The kid is going to grow up incredibly confused, and if the parents keep this up, they're going to resent each other.0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
Oh no no no no no. NOOOOOOO. Don't make me get on my soapbox about this.
Sidebar: These are your friends. What's it to you how they raise their kid?0 -
Ugh! I have family members like that. It's okay if my kids stay at their house, but her kids can NEVER come to my house. She wouldn't even let her SIL's take her kids to Chuck E Cheese because the one who was going to drive had been in a car accident. Sometimes I want to just beat the snot out of her! Grrr!0
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It seems like she should have the final say, however, if she said she wants him involved she has to respect his way of parenting.Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
Like I said, this kid is going to be super confused.0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
Then he already knew the wife's style of discipline. He has no business spanking some else's kid.0 -
There is such a thing as over protective parenting. My parents were super overprotective and it caused me to rebel in every way possible. In the end, my parents loosened up and I calmed down. They learned from me (their first kid) and raised my sister differently and she respects their boundaries. Every kid is different, but I don't think over protective is beneficial in any case.
I was the same way as u.....I told him to just back off, and if the kid acts out his wife will come to him for help. Being a step parent is hard!!!!0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
On another note... that right there is what broke up my last relationship. ::sigh::0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
How would you know that's what she wants or is doing?? Seems a bit of a leap...0 -
Ugh! I have family members like that. It's okay if my kids stay at their house, but her kids can NEVER come to my house. She wouldn't even let her SIL's take her kids to Chuck E Cheese because the one who was going to drive had been in a car accident. Sometimes I want to just beat the snot out of her! Grrr!
True. My stepmom did this and my sister was afraid to spend the night at other people's houses! She would fake being sick so her mom could come get her at night and she could go home...0 -
There are several different types of parenting.. Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive and Uninvolved Parenting.
Sounds like the wife is following Authoritative Parenting style while the husband is following an Authoritarian style parenting.
The styles are pretty similar, but do have their differences.
I don't think Mom is being unreasonable at that age, but maybe she should get to know her daughters friends parents and she would feel more comfortable letting her out.0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
Oh no no no no no. NOOOOOOO. Don't make me get on my soapbox about this.
Sidebar: These are your friends. What's it to you how they raise their kid?
He's my friend from childhood, and I go thru much of wht he does because I have a step daughter.0 -
Personally, seeing as I'm a teenager still living with my parents, I honestly find myself wanting to listen to my parents more when they are less protective of me. It gives me a sense of trust between us and gives me pressure to make the right decisions to live up to that trust.
They give me freedom to make my own mistakes and I respect them for that.0 -
I let my son have sleep overs. I don't let him sleep out. I know what goes on in my house. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's.
Good things his friend's parents aren't over protective or they wouldn't be allowed over at your house and your son would never have anyone to play with.
With young kids it is important to know their friend's parents so you can allow your child to experience some freedom. Growing up my friends and I were constantly over at each other's houses all the time because our parents knew each other. There is no reason it can't be the same today.
And once the kids get older (teenagers), at some point we need to be able to trust them. Will they get hurt and make stupid decisions? Yes, but that is how we learn. We need to let our kids learn through experience as well.0 -
I have a friend with children ranging in ages 10-2...they aren't allowed to sleep over other than at a family member's house.0
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Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
oh boy! he's in a losing battle thats a sticky situation and can get down right ugly0
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