bad jokes that we'll probably go to hell for

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2

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  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
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    There are 3 construction workers. A blond guy, an Irish guy, and a Mexican guy.
    While on their lunch break, the blond guy says, "God, if she makes me a bologna sandwhich again, I'm gonna throw myself off this building."
    The Irish guy says, "If she makes me corned beef and cabbage again, I'm gonna throw myself off this building."
    The Mexican guys says, "If she makes me tacos again, I'm gonna throw myself off this building."

    The next day at lunch, the blond guy opens his lunch box and finds a bologna sandwich. He throws himself off the building and dies.
    The Irish guy opens his lunch box and find corned beef and cabbage. He throws himself off the building and dies.
    The Mexican guy opens up his lunch box and finds tacos. He throws himself off the building and dies.

    A few days later at the funeral, the Irish wife's crying, "Oh, if only I didn't pack him corned beef and cabbage."
    The Mexican wife's crying, "Oh, if only I didn't pack him tacos."
    The blond wife is just standing there. The look at her and ask her why she'd not upset. She replies, "Hey, he packed his own lunch."
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    What are the naughtiest animals on the farm?




    Brown chicken, brown cow.....

    :laugh: I love this one! LMAO!
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
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    At Sunday school, the teacher begins to tell the children about the basics.
    Little Suzie hates Sunday school and decides to sleep through it.

    The teacher asks, "Suzie, who is our lord and saviour?"

    Little Johnny sits behind her and pokes her with his pencil.
    Little Suzie slams her hands on her desk and stands, "Jesus Christ!"

    The teacher looks at her, "Very good suzie."

    Not sure what happened, she goes back to sleep.

    The teacher asks again. "Suzie, who is the creator of all?"

    Little Johnny pokes her again.
    Little Suzie slams her hands on the desk and screams, "God Dammit!"

    The teacher says, "Very good."

    Not sure what happened, she goes back to sleep.

    The teacher asks, "Suzie, what did Eve say to Adam after their 36th child?"

    Little Johnny pokes her again.

    Suzie stands up, turns to face Johnny and screams, "If you poke me with that hing one more time, I'll break it in half!"
  • moonlightturk
    moonlightturk Posts: 398
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    [quote/]
    How many Jews can you fit in a car?



    2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 10 million in the ashtray
    [/quote]

    You're definitely going to hell for this one...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    What are the naughtiest animals on the farm?




    Brown chicken, brown cow.....


    Thank you for posting this!! On vacation we met a couple and the wife could only remember the punch line!
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
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    What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?





    Nothing. You've already told her twice
  • clarechieri
    clarechieri Posts: 60 Member
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    What's green and smells of pork?



    Kermit the frogs fingers!
  • clarechieri
    clarechieri Posts: 60 Member
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    Stephen Hawkin went on a blind date only to end up in hospital with multiple breaks and fractures! apparently she stood him up!!
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
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    2vih8bb.jpg
  • Spitbubblr
    Spitbubblr Posts: 54
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    What is the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? A boy scout comes back from camp.
  • Spitbubblr
    Spitbubblr Posts: 54
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    Can you nazi how terrible the Holocaust was?
  • Spitbubblr
    Spitbubblr Posts: 54
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    Holocaust jokes aren't funny, Anne Frankly I will not stand for it.
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
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    Can you nazi how terrible the Holocaust was?

    lol..I'm not gonna lie. It took me a minute
  • soul_sista88
    soul_sista88 Posts: 57 Member
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    A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant-- about 4 months, would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?" Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!" The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!
  • samrockrocks
    samrockrocks Posts: 251 Member
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    How many Jews can you fit in a car?



    2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 10 million in the ashtray

    classic... but the more accurate number would be 6 million!
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
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    2vih8bb.jpg


    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
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    What is the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? A boy scout comes back from camp.


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
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    Holocaust jokes aren't funny, Anne Frankly I will not stand for it.


    love it :laugh:
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
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    How many Jews can you fit in a car?



    2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 10 million in the ashtray

    classic... but the more accurate number would be 6 million!

    Thank you for pointing that out. I will make sure I get the numbers right the next time I tell it........................
  • thisisjl
    thisisjl Posts: 1,074 Member
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    What do you call a bear with no teeth

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    a gummy bear

    ok I know not what you were looking for but hey I wanted to bump this ;-)

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