People trying to hold you back

LuisZav

Is it only myself, or do people wanna hold you back from hitting your weight loss goals. Saying things like "stop losing weight, you look fine"...or "you were cuter when you were bigger". Irritates the hell out of me sometimes, but for the most part I've drowned that all out. They're MY GOALS, not theirs.

arrawyn79

Kind of...

my husband keeps saying that he thinks i'm fine how i am right now (which is nice to hear!) but I don't think so...well, i do, but I have my goal in mind and I want to get there. Granted i'm only 8lbs away but no one should be telling me to stop, if i'm not comfortable with MYSELF!

my husband definitely does NOT say that i was cuter when i was bigger! LOL (and I totally agree with him haha)

Also, a co-worker said when i'd lost 40lbs, 'aren't you done now?'. and I said , no! but I think she might be a bit jealous to be honest...

aero0811

A family member of my boyfriend has started exercising recently after having a gastric band fitted couple years ago. Theyve never really done exercise before so it's great that they are taking on a new healthy lifestyle. However, theyve started to make it into a competition with me. I have VERY low self esteem so I dont tend to respond well to competitions, and being told what they are doing is better and will show quicker than what I'm doing makes me feel why am I bothering?!

I guess they arent really trying to hold me back but they are knocking my confidence which has an impact on my goals if that makes sense? I keep telling myself though im doing this for myself and not others, it's just hard to remember that sometimes..

goldilocks509

MY ex husband used to do that. I would try so hard to lose weight and he would bring 10 kindsize candybars home and put them in the snack drawer. Of course they were my favorite kind too! He would complain when I tried to make anything new or healthy also. I didnt lose any weight until I left him. Who is telling you to stop losing weight? You need a good supporty system...its good that you are on here.

10k40min

YES!!! So many people are toxic on different levels. Unsurprisingly, I find my in-laws to be the worst! I have been trying to lose weight for a few months now, and I am having to deal with "diet sabotage" at every turn. I think part of the problem is that in the culture here ( I live in France), the average person, especially female, has NO concept of what working out or eating healthfully means. I know that in the media France is often referred to as a country with very healthy eating habits; this is GREATLY exaggerated. Every time I come to my mother in laws house, she belittles me for saying "no" to wine or bread or cheese or what they call "sauce" which is really just pan drippings. Then she always makes caustic comments about my workouts. If it were anyone else, I would just remove them from my life completely. Unfortunately, that is not an option! The worst part is, if I complain about it being difficult to lose weight, people will make snide comments about it being because I'm american. However, I NEVER struggled with my weight in the states like I do now - I gained 20 pounds after moving to France; every time I go home to the US I lose weight. I'm not extremely overweight, but am quite unhappy with my current body (5'9 and 170 pounds, but in very good shape, from an athletic point of view). Anyways, just know you are NOT ALONE with the sabotage; I recommend you do all that you can to put negative people in their place; after all, if they can't understand how important this is to you, do they really need to be in your life? If that doesn't work......I'm only slightly ashamed to admit, after 2 years of in law hell, I'm starting to fire back with my own snide responses. Which is not ideal, I think negativity is never really the answer.....I'm just out of tactics. In any case, be proud of your efforts and accomplishments......good luck!

sandyyy712

Yeah, as soon as I lost weight everyone in my life was ragging on me about it...my parents, coaches, boyfriend, friends, etc
And unfortunately I let them all get to me and because of it I gained back weight.

mkm9279

It's about how you feel about yourself! Other bring you down because they get jealous that they don't have the drive to be healthy like we do! As long as you are happy is all that matters!

natalier1990

Story of my life! i decided to make a change and lost 35 pounds people in work started to follow me and tell me about how well they were doing themselves...others in work didn't like that i was getting followed therefore decided to write bad things about me. their loss

stay strong guys you've only got yo prove something to yourself!

lcooke24

Happens alot. Not sure if it's jealousy or concern or intent to sabatoge. But you have the right attitiude. They are your goals. Stay strong and true to yourself.

MFPBrandy

YES. Thankfully this isn't happening to me, but I see it all the time -- especially when any of my co-workers tries to quit smoking. All the other smokers gang up on them, constantly pressuring them to smoke. It ticks me off.

In retrospect, I'm sorry to say I think I was one of those unsupportive people, Counting calories really did seem (to me) to be an obsessive, unhealthy relationship with food. Now logging actually makes it easier for me, and doesn't seem obsessive at all.

MiaOrange

Yes, in many aspects of life. When I was struggling with things, people wouldn't say much. When I lost weight, they'd say oh, you were fat and you were always eating fruit when I saw you... you ate too much. It has happened in my education advancement and getting a better car that actually runs, better home. Someone is mad because my kids health insurance pays for them to get their teeth cleaned 2 X per year and called me in the middle of the night telling me it's not fair that I get help like that for being a poor single mom.

People stopped inviting me over when I changed my diet (mostly for food intolerances). It's been a lonely road, people hide their McDs bags from me like I'm the food police or something. I never judge them. People won't invite us to eat because they say "The food at my house is bad for you, don't have anything for you to eat." It's sad, I can bring food or just sit and talk over tea or something! But they see me and feel guilty for their behavior... Someone made fun of me for eating a chocolate covered strawberry at a bake sale. It's like OMGosh your're eating a sweet snack, I'm surprised that's in your food plan and they heckled me about it. Doesn't make me feel good.

I see sick people make fun of me and I remind myself not to give in (which doesn't always help and I slip up) because my health is important and why I'm continuing on this route.