Feeling down, need support

xxvogue

I lost a friend of several years recently over my journey to be healthy and happy. This was very hard emotionally, and I'm still feeling a lot of those ramifications. The friendship probably needed to end, but this was a woman that I called a best friend. I knew it was over when she accused me of calling her "fat" (which never happened) when I was trying to get some encouragement because I was having a day full of cravings for the old foods I ate. It never helped that she called my food "disgusting" (I'm almost entirely vegan so I don't eat dairy, or meat except for fish on occasion), and that she always had to fill me in on the junk she was eating.

That coupled with a seeming lack of progress is just wearing me down. I'm now at week 5, and about 6-7 pounds down. However, I've been at a plateau for about 3 weeks (which goes to show that I lost a lot of weight pretty quick). Basically I'm just feeling hopeless. I took a progress picture 1-2 weeks ago, and I notice a slight difference (http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e124/VorlagencTanz/progress.jpg), but admittedly I wish the scale was down. Not that I'm unhappy with 6-7 pounds in the amount of time it has been, what I'm really unhappy with is the plateau. I feel like I should be seeing the number go down at least a little. I do know 6-7 pounds in 5 weeks is awesome, but why have you stopped scale?!

I use Myfitnesspal to track calories and exercise. My usually daily calories run between 1200-1500 or so depending on the amount of exercise I do..

Does anyone have any thoughts, recommendations, or just plain encouragement? I could really use some, things just seem so hopeless right now. And maybe I'm just being crazy and number obsessed, that happens too, but I am trying so hard this time, I don't want to fail.

LovingLisa2012

you are doing good ( i can see a difference) stick with it and the weight will come off, also maybe try strength training to change your body composition

xxvogue

I do strength train and run as well (I'm signed up for a 5k next month!). (: What kind of strength training do you guys recommend? I've been dong p90x's strength training (and skipping the cardio, because I prefer running much more).

I make it a point to do other exercise that's not as "exercise feeling" too. Yesterday I was scalloping in 6-7 feet of water for 3-4 hours, so there was a lot of lugging a heavy bag of scallops up and down in surprisingly strong currents.

mesee619

Awh this seems like a hard time for you. Maybe that is why you are wanting junk--its comfort food. Well you are difinetly in the right place for comfort! 1st remember why you wanted to lose weight in the 1st place--this is your reason to keep at it. Then scrolll through this site and meet all the wonderful people that have been in your shoes. There are people on here who have lost 100 lbs + some! They have pictures too. Then make you a list of pros and cons of this friend? this will give you your answer of if its worth it. Sometimes on our journey our love ones feel left out when we are more focus on our goals then them, If this friendship really means something to you (to me, being on the outside looking in--it does) You should try to include your friend in your choice but not force you choice on her. People have to decide when they are ready. Maybe at that time she said she was ready but really wasn't--then you moved along without her causing her to feel jealous. Think about it.

Cheer up--you are among friends!

cmriverside

Just keep plugging away. I lost my best friend too, and like you I knew it was time, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Now you can focus on finding friends that are also trying to lose some weight.

tessdel

I can definitely see a difference! I know all about getting "stuck" and going for weeks with out losing a single pound. It is soooooooo frustrating! I wish I had some words of wisdom or encouragement that could make it better. The only thing that works for me (and I stress for "ME"-- this would not be recommended practice, I am sure) is for me to go on a two day "fruit fast". I just eat apples and drink water and unsweet tea (lots of both) for two days. I do this every few months and it does jump start my losing, for some reason. I realize that it is mostly WATER WEIGHT that I lose when I do this, but when the scale has been "stuck" for a couple of weeks, you will take two pounds of water weight! Of course, I keep walking, so I am exercising during this time. I have also found that since I upped my walking to an hour a day (20 minutes in the morning, 40 minutes at night) that I haven't gotten "stuck" as much-- though I spent a week, recently, at the same weight.

Keep up the good work! You are doing great-- you really are!

xxvogue

Thanks for the support guys. Maybe I'll up my exercise by adding in a morning walk to my day or something.

And interestingly, the friend I was talking about, messaged me today apologizing for what happened. I don't think that emotionally I'm ready to be best friends again, but I don't feel quite as bad about the whole thing.

allnewellie

*hugs*

Find one thing that you're happy about and build on that. Can you exercise longer? Have better stamina? Take a flight of stairs quicker? Then you've made progress!!!

As Scarlett said...."tomorrow is another day!"

LeanMeanJeanne

You can CERTAINLY see the difference! Congratulations on 7 lbs down! As for your "friend".... a friend is someone who wants the absolute best for you and will support you 110% in working toward a goal to better yourself. If she wasn't willing to stand by you on your journey, she may not have been the friend you thought, sadly. Luckily, through MFP, you've got a huge network of virtual strangers rooting you on!! We all want what's best for each other, which is health (bonus for looking great too!)

CanGirl40

Have you ever listened to Jillian Michaels free podcast on iTunes? She is very inspiring and really cuts to the emotional aspects of eating. Also, fat2fitradio.com helped me so much. I hope you feel better soon! Keep it up!

thedancingleper

Losing a close friend is one of the hardest blows in life. I feel for you.

Jenloma

Keep going and don't quit!

hiawathaperez

I had already lost 20 pounds before I came to my fitness pal. I am here for the exact same reason, ye olde plateau.....

recalibrate your caloric intake as your weight goes down....seems to work for me as I am loosing again...not fast but

loosing...yea. weight times 8 equals caloric intake.

Also adding the additional component of the 30 day shred......

Low carb and I am a fat burning machine.

whoop

mmarcy7

Did you take body measurements? The scale may not be going down, but maybe you are losing inches if you have added in lots of exercise. It's always hard to lose a friend, so sorry.

summergrl17

I had to give up a best friend who wasn't there for me when I was going through a really difficult time with my only child when he was in middle school. I ended up going through it with no support from anyone - his dad was too busy with the new woman in his life which, by the way, significantly contributed to my son's difficulties. My ex-friend, who I considered like a sister, was also a middle school counselor of all things so I was doubly disappointed when she wasn't supportive. After I got my son through his crisis, this "friend" reached out to me via email. She didn't even give me a phone call. I made the decision to not respond and to stop the friendship. I decided that I only want and deserve friends in my life that I can count on and that are nurturing and caring. You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends! It took about a year before I found another close friend that I connect to on a deep level. It was hard letting go of that other friend but I'm so glad I did because it made room in my life for someone who is a much better friend and whom i'm more compatible with. So, don't settle.

As far as the plateau, Chris Powell, the trainer on Extreme makeover - weight loss edition, has a book out called Choose to Lose. In it he explains that we have to switch up our eating to keep our metabolism burning calories. Otherwise, it adjusts to what we eat pretty quickly and will conserve calories instead of burn them when we're dieting. I've lost 8 pounds in 6 weeks mostly by dieting - and that includes a free day of eating every Sunday. My goal is to add 30 minutes of cardio but I haven't been able to fit it in yet. Anyway, it really helped me because I wasn't losing weight even though I was spending 1.5 hours at the gym 3 -4x a week doing 30 minutes of cardio and 45 minutes of weight training plus walking on the weekends. I started thinking maybe I was too old to lose weight or that I had messed up my metabolism from going on so many diets...then gaining it back.

Good luck and don't give up. You'll eventually get past the plateau. In the meantime, focus on the good things you are doing for your body!

xxvogue

Thanks for the support!

I measured myself today, still feeling discouraged despite a small budge in the scale, and I've lost 10 inches in these past 3 weeks where I haven't lost any pounds!!